Category Archives for Blog

Jamie Lee Curtis shared this advice on the Sunday Sitdown podcast last month.

Acting for 48 years, Jamie’s career continues to thrive. When the host asked about her secret, she responded emphatically, “I put myself in the path.”

Definitive wisdom for our new year, but what does “put yourself in the path” practically mean?

Readiness + proximity with a sprinkle of hustle.  

Instead of waiting to be discovered or chasing every shiny object, “put yourself in the path” is deliberately stepping into rooms, conversations, collaborations, and creative ecosystems where interesting work is happening.

Jamie’s favorite “get in the path” strategy: she never leaves the movie set during production. Instead of hiding between her big moments in a script, Jamie engages with the director, always ready to contribute.

The result? She lands more on-screen time in a film because she doesn’t retreat to her trailer.

Jamie stands where opportunity is occurring. 

Reflecting on this advice, I “put myself in the path” every time I exhibit at a conference. By immersing myself in the community, I participate in conversations, discover priorities, and communicate solutions to the problems I hear from attendees at our booth.

Readiness. Proximity. Hustle.   

Why does it work? Trust.

People trust people they see, know, and experience. They trust people who consistently show up. They trust people who support their projects and ideas.

People want to engage with people who want to engage with them.

Embarrassingly, I once took myself off the path when I became disenchanted with a former boss. Instead of working to improve our relationship, I petulantly moved my office to the other side of the building.

At that point, I was no longer visible, engaged, or relevant. But I was successfully righteous. Not surprisingly, my boss stopped including me in decisions. And one day, he hired someone to replace me.

Some suggestions to “put yourself in the path” of your future:

• Prepare – hone your communication and your craft
• Be intentional and confident, but not entitled
• Eagerly volunteer to participate in meetings, projects, and teams
• Stay curious – observe, ask questions first
• Commit to contribute – offer to improve situations 
• Maintain strategic presence – don’t hide behind cameras or keyboards
• Employ a thoughtful “yes!” to ideas and conversations

Place yourself where passion, people, and possibility intersect, again and again. Opportunities favor the involved.

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

1. When a TSA Agent and the Sixt Manager Helped me
   https://mentorlead.com/blog/flash-when-a-tsa-agent-and-the-sixt-manager-helped-me/
2. You Can’t Step Twice Into the Same River (or Mentoring Conversation
   https://mentorlead.com/blog/flash-you-cant-step-twice-into-the-same-river-or-mentoring-conversation/
3. Am I Doing Enough? Asked the Mentors
   https://mentorlead.com/blog/flash-am-i-doing-enough-asked-the-mentors/
4. Wisdom from the Cornfield – Great Corn Comes from Great Mentors
   https://mentorlead.com/blog/flash-wisdom-from-the-cornfield-great-corn-comes-from-great-mentors/
5. Are Human Mentors Obsolete in the Age of ChatGPT (Spoiler: No!)
   https://mentorlead.com/blog/flash-are-human-mentors-obsolete-in-the-age-of-chatgpt-spoiler-no/ 
6. No One Dies in Mentoring (the Stoic Challenge in Action)
   https://mentorlead.com/blog/flash-no-one-dies-in-mentoring-the-stoic-challenge-in-action/
7. When Lily Tomlin Astutely Mentored SNL Lorne Michaels 
   https://mentorlead.com/blog/flash-when-lily-tomlin-astutely-mentored-snl-lorne-michaels/
8. When Mentors Become Wise (Are You a Loud Listener?)
   https://mentorlead.com/blog/flash-when-mentors-become-wise-are-you-a-loud-listener/
9. How Do I Get Your Job? (When Mentoring is the GPS for our Lives) 
   https://mentorlead.com/blog/flash-how-do-i-get-your-job-when-mentoring-is-the-gps-for-our-lives/  

March 2025 marked 10 years of my weekly Flash! articles. And in September, I published my 5th book, a compilation of Flash! articles organized around the art, science, and magic of mentoring. You can find this and all of my books at: www.mentorlead.com/books

It is a delight to be on this bigger-better-bolder adventure with you! Thank you for reading and rooting! 

I look forward to circling the sun with you again! Happy New Year!

© 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

Holiday gatherings offer a valuable opportunity to practice connecting with curiosity and compassion – a coveted skill that makes us better mentors, leaders, and human beings.

Here are 12 phrases to help us connect, not just cope:

1. “You look terrific!”
People are constantly critiquing themselves, especially during the holidays. We can instantly reassure them with a (genuine) compliment.

2. “That’s amazing!”
Ask people about their recent adventures or experiences – everyone deserves a spotlight!

3. “How can I help?”
Swap “Do you need help?” with “How can I help?” to indicate your commitment to making a difference. Better yet, start helping!

4. “What’s your perspective?” 
Everyone has a perspective, and their view of the world is inevitably different than yours. Get ready to discover what they see!

5. “Tell me about…”
Demonstrate an interest in their experience. “Tell me about your perspective – how did you arrive at that?” Or “tell me about your job change, college decision, vacation…”

6. “That’s wonderful, frustrating, or interesting.”
People have an innate desire to be understood. No matter the story they share, validate their experience and make them feel heard by mirroring their feelings with your words.

7. “Have you considered…? What about this idea…?”
If they ask for your advice or get stuck venting, offer an idea for consideration. Doing so with a question allows you to contribute without judgment, expectation, or pressure.

8. “Not yet.”
“No” halts conversation, whereas “Not yet” fuels possibility.

9. “Say more…”
As in, “I’m curious about that idea. Say more about what you’re thinking.”

10. “To change the subject…”
Not every conversation needs to be exhausted over a fruitcake. Conversations can change, and this phrase signals your intent to change it.

11. “Grateful!”
Using an alternative to “thanks” causes people to hear it and ourselves to mean it. Options: “Grateful!” “Appreciate you!” or “Much obliged.” For more significant impact, add context: “I’m grateful that you…” “I appreciate you for…”

12. “Pleasure.”
I worked with a woman from South Africa who always responded to my “Thanks” with “Pleasure!” as in, “It was a pleasure to help.” This cheerful response made me delighted that we partnered.

Regardless of the conversations you create this holiday, guests will appreciate your effort to engage. And who knows… you might feel more connected and compassionate as you savor the celebration.

Wishing you Happy Holidays!

© 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

Recently, a woman at the gym who witnessed my post-class helmeting routine, offhandedly commented, “I don’t understand why you ride your bike here when you don’t have to.”

While the irony of her comment was not lost on me at a 6:00am fitness class that neither of us was required to attend, it did make me wonder…

Why do I do anything that I don’t have to? 

• Why do I wake up early to catch a sunrise?
• Why do I tip my Starbucks baristas each visit? 
• Why do I send holiday gifts to friends every year?
• Why do I donate monthly to the local animal shelter? 
• Why do I mentor people when they ask for my advice?

I discovered some answers when I stumbled upon an article by The Atlantic columnist Arthur C Brooks entitled, “To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller.”

In the article, Brooks references research that concludes “fixating on our importance makes us miserable” – we are constantly worried about people judging us.

As an alternative way to experience the world, Brooks recommends three ways to get happier:

1. Stand in awe: find what leaves you speechless and transfixed
2. Seek the divine: contemplate thoughts more profound than the latest social media post
3. Quietly serve others: give more of yourself without expectation

Quiet Service is the heartbeat of mentoring! We intentionally contribute to someone’s aspirations without any hope, agenda, or expectation of reward or recognition. 

As I surrender to the inevitability of this holiday season, I’ve generated a list of ways I can quietly serve others:

• Donate money, food, clothes, and time
• Pause to see another’s perspective
• Practice patience
• Forgive slights and minor transgressions
• Clear up miscommunications immediately
• Offer mentoring conversations
• Generously connect people
• Advocate for others
• Compliment courageously
• Over tip

Last week, CBS Sunday Morning featured the Thundergong festival, an annual benefit that provides prosthetic care to amputees. Since 2017, the fundraiser has paid for over 2,000 prosthetics!

During the interview, festival founder and host Jason Sudeikis (of Ted Lasso fame) reflected, “To do something you love with people you love to make a difference for someone you may never meet. I wish that [experience] on all of you!”

© 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

From 1972 to 1994, he was known as Coach Rav, mentoring hundreds of young men, and upon retirement, George joined Nike’s basketball marketing department.

One of his Mentees, basketball legend Michael Jordan, wrote the Foreword to George’s book, opening with, “George Raveling is an unsung hero in my life. He’s been a Mentor and a friend to me since our paths first crossed.” In fact, Michael credits George for his partnership with Nike and the Air Jordan.

When he turned 83, George was invited to a mastermind dinner. Believing that wisdom demands a pursuit, George accepted the invitation, curious to explore and reflect in a new community.

Made famous by Napoleon Hill in his book Think and Grow Rich, the mastermind concept is an orchestrated gathering of peers committed to exchanging ideas, resources, and connections. It’s a unique format for sparking multiple mentoring conversations.

As George describes the experience, the sheer volume of information offered by the “melting pot of minds” was exhilarating! The broad cross-section of participants introduced George to new ways of thinking and being.

For someone who spent decades revered as a Mentor, this was a formidable experience. At 83, George was thrust back into a Mentee role, discovering timeless life lessons from young tech wizards to veteran CEOs, from a best-selling author to a neuroscientist, from twentysomethings to octogenarians.

It reinforced for George the importance of seeking out people whose journeys pressure-test our thinking and check our blind spots. It affirmed the treasure trove that awaits us when we intentionally enter environments teeming with diversity of thought.

“If everyone thinks just like you, it can get really boring really fast.” 

“This is what growth looks like. It’s not about surrounding yourself with people who think exactly like you do. It’s about seeking out those who can challenge your assumptions, expand your horizons, and push you to think in new ways. It’s about putting yourself in situations where you can discover wisdom you never knew existed.”

Periodically, in one of our mentoring programs, a mentee will question their match, “How can I learn from her? She’s never had my job!” 

In the future, I’m going to reference George’s conclusion following his mastermind adventure, “If you and I agree on everything, one of us is unnecessary.”

© 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

Libby Rodney, Chief Strategy Officer at The Harris Poll, emphasized, the absence of mentoring is one of the top barriers to career confidence. “This isn’t about work ethic – it’s about a generation that needs guidance.”

Strong role models can help this generation to develop key interpersonal skills: communication, adaptability, emotional resilience, and self-assurance.

The Report reveals the impact of mentoring on those who did engage:

• 84% said mentorship opened doors to possibilities unrealized on their own
• 83% said a mentor bridged the gap between classroom learning and real-world success
• 81% felt more confident making decisions about school, work, and life

Artis Stevens, CEO of Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, concludes, “Mentorship isn’t optional – it’s essential.”

And yet, many young professionals hesitate to ask for help or advice.

• They don’t know where to look for professional support.
• They fear they should already have the answers.
• They have access to technology that overflows with information.
• They worry about being a burden.
• Their ego and pride resist help.

It’s easy to blame this generation’s lack of ambition. But what if instead they

• …lack role models and access to traditional mentoring?
• …don’t recognize mentoring when it’s offered?
• …are unsure about how to use a mentor?
• …don’t think mentoring matters?

As a result of this hesitation, compounded by confusion, we’ve witnessed many early-career mentoring programs struggle to attract participation and engagement.

Ideas to close the gap between indecision and impact:

1. Normalize mentoring as part of the hire-to-retire career lifecycle.
2. Define “Mentor” as a “trusted champion” and a “thought partner.”
3. Ensure that anyone new to their role, skill, or team is provided with a Mentor.
4. Have Mentors personally choose their Mentee.
5. Label all support and guidance as “acts of mentoring” (ex, buddies, precepting, apprenticing, goal setting).
6. Decrease risks when engaging with a Mentor by setting clear expectations.
7. Leverage group mentoring, mentoring circles, mastermind groups, and speed mentoring events for smaller, safer connections with Mentors.
8. Enlist managers to ensure every team member is supported by Mentors.
9. Launch formal mentoring programs.

When even a single conversation with a Mentor can shift how young professionals perceive their potential, shouldn’t we do whatever we can to ensure those conversations take place early and often?

© 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

Thanksgiving can be fabulous and fierce, soulful and stressful.

I’ve observed my dogs masterfully navigate the fickleness of this holiday for years. And here’s the advice I’m confident they would offer all of us to ensure festivity and folly:

1. Greet everyone eagerly.
My dogs welcome each person as they arrive, barking excitedly, jumping enthusiastically, and wagging their tails with great anticipation. (Of course, they assume the feelings are mutual.)

2. Be incessantly curious.
Everyone is interesting and intriguing to my dogs, so everyone gets thoroughly (and regularly) sniffed.

3. Harbor no ill will.
My dogs don’t stew over unresolved arguments or upsets. Instead, they forgive and forget quickly.

4. Provoke play.
Everyone is a potential ball thrower or rope tugger to my dogs. So they constantly bring old toys to new people, encouraging them to engage immediately. And soon enough, play ensues. Success!

5. Ignore what others think.
My dogs ignore judgment and criticism. They never feel incompetent or insignificant in the presence of others. They couldn’t care less what my holiday guests think of them.

6. Never compare your life to others.
My dogs don’t waste a moment judging themselves or others. It’s unimportant and foolish because it would distract them from what’s most important: eating, playing, peeing, and sleeping.

7. Don’t try to solve every problem.
My dogs don’t fret, fear, or fix. Rather, they stay maniacally focused on their priorities (eating, playing, peeing, and sleeping).

8. Create the environment.
My dogs wouldn’t dare ruin the holiday with negativity or a contentious debate about politics or religion. Instead, their playfulness lifts spirits, and they know it.

9. Take breaks regularly.
My dogs go outside for fresh air (and to do their business). This momentary pause rejuvenates them physically and emotionally.

10. Nap without apology.
As soon as they’re feeling tired, my dogs curl up in one of their favorite beds without excuses or justifications.

_________________________________
To all my readers, I’m grateful for our weekly connections. You inspire me with your commitment to making a difference in your roles as mentor, mentee, boss, peer, and human being.

Wishing you a happy-as-a-dog holiday!

© 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

I was reminded of this transformative experience while watching the 2024 short documentary A Swim Lesson which profiles Bill Marsh, a swim instructor from Los Angeles who has helped over 5,000 children learn to swim.

The 20-minute movie opens to crying, snot-leaking children clinging fiercely to the side of Bill’s pool, their parents watching in stunned helplessness.

As Bill narrates and reinforces with the parents, it’s OK to cry – crying is an emotion, not a measure of progress. Tears are not a symptom of failure; they’re indicative of a process.

Unruffled, Bill wipes snot but never tears, noticeably cautious not to rescue anyone from the process or steal their experience.

“To me, swimming is the best analogy [for life] because no one can fix it for you. It’s you and the water. You can only do it alone. If someone is holding you, you’re not doing it.”

Bill’s subtle mentoring relies on:

1. Influence: “You can’t really teach kids to swim. You have to help them discover it.”
2. Consistency: Lessons are held at the same time every day for 8 consecutive days. Bill wears the same hat and shirt, uses the same water bottle, and makes the same requests every day.
3. Validation and Expectations: He repeats, “You can have all the feelings you want. I’m not here to change those. But you have to stay in the pool.”  (And if they exit the pool, he brings them back without apology.)
4. Trust and Confidence: Teaching them not just to trust Bill but to trust themselves to grab the side of the pool, they become independently safe in lesson one.
5. Acceptance, Courage, Progress: The kids learn to accept what cannot be controlled (water!) as they make incremental progress through this crucible.
6. Conviction and Flexibility: “I know they’re going to swim at the end, but I don’t know what their journey is going to be.”

What unfolds is inspirational. The young swimmers navigate their fears, discover their own strength in the face of an overwhelming situation, and emerge resilient.

They push off the side of the pool, realizing they are more powerful than they knew, conquering what had felt insurmountable the day before.

As Mentors everywhere confess and Bill reflects, “It’s a thrill to watch humans go through a struggle and then triumph at the end of it with joy!”

© 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.