All posts by Ann Tardy
[Flash] Look Up for the Watermarks! How My Dad Taught Us to Find Problems to Solve
|
My dad was a high-school-educated, Dale Carnegie-trained salesman who spent three decades selling industrial roofing.
A consummate salesman, he was forever searching for problems to solve. Every time he walked into a building, my dad instinctively looked up. He was searching for watermarks on the ceiling. Roof damage announces itself through watermarks. And any stain on the inside means a roof leak on the outside… a problem he could fix and a sale he could close. It didn’t matter if he was in Target or at a restaurant. He always looked up. And he taught us to do the same. My dad would invariably point out the watermarks, which then made me, my mom, and my siblings crane our necks back to look at the ceiling, searching for the water stain he so proudly found. Leaving us gawking at the ceiling, my dad would immediately find the building’s manager. When my dad pointed up, the manager also had to crane his neck to acknowledge his roofing problem. And then, like a hero ready to save the day, my dad would ceremoniously hand the manager his business card and announce, as if doing him a favor, “I’ll send someone out in the morning to give you a free estimate to fix the water leak in your roof.” My dad had a solution. His job was to find the problems that needed that solution. He passed away many years ago, but whenever I enter a building, I still look up, searching for watermarks in the ceiling. I’ve been an entrepreneur and a leader for over two decades. While I’ve had many ideas over those years, I have always felt the most confident selling the ones that solve a problem I can point to. If you want to progress your career, you don’t need to work harder. You need to look for problems that need solving, situations that need improving. And when you’re ready to move into leadership, stop solving every problem. Instead, mentor others to become problem solvers and situation improvers. Unfortunately, sometimes we get enamored with a brilliant idea, and when we pitch it, we forget to demonstrate how it will measurably improve someone’s life. And so it doesn’t. Even our job titles are useless without communicating our contributions. Always look for the proverbial watermarks. Then point to them so people recognize the difference you’re making. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] When CEO of Universal Studios Mentored Movie Producer Brian Grazer
|
When Brian Grazer was young, he struggled with undiagnosed dyslexia. To boost his confidence and resilience, his Grandma Sonia instilled in him a sense of curiosity.
She taught him the value of admitting his ignorance, insisting: “As long as we ask questions, not knowing the answer just makes us more interested.” She then reinforced Brian’s curiosity by calling it his “superpower.” Emboldened by Grandma Sonia’s mentoring, Brian started calling people he was curious to meet. He coined this practice, “Curiosity Conversations.” For the past 40 years, Brian has made a weekly phone call, eager to learn from someone new. Fascinated by the movie business, Brian leveraged Curiosity Conversations to understand the mechanics of the film industry as he was exploring a career in Hollywood. One year, he pursued Lew Wasserman, the CEO of Universal Studios, for a Curiosity Conversation. Brian desperately wanted to learn from Lew. And after many attempts with Lew’s assistants, Brian landed an in-person Curiosity Conversation with the Hollywood mogul. When he arrived at Lew’s office, Lew stopped him in the lobby, abruptly stating, “You wait here. You’re not coming in.” Lew then handed Brian a pencil and a pad of paper. He said, “Put these in your hand and put the pencil to the paper. It will have greater value than they do as separate parts. Now, get out of here.” As Brian reflected on The Person Who Believed in Me podcast, “In other words, don’t come see me without any ideas. Don’t pick my brain. Come in with something of meaning. Sell me something. Have an idea. Represent it.” While Lew’s admonishment felt blistering and embarrassing, Brian eventually recognized the actionable advice: don’t just take ideas; generate them. Lew’s mentoring sparked Brian into action… he started working on his screenplay idea and wrote the script for the 1988 movie Splash. While Curiosity Conversations have helped Brian open doors, Lew’s micro-mentoring helped Brian discover the power of bringing value to those conversations. Likewise, in your own pursuit of wisdom, don’t implore, “Mentor me!” or ask, “Can I pick your brain?” (… it’s painful, literally and figuratively) Instead, bring someone your project, passion, proposal, or plan, and invite them to contribute. Showing up with something meaningful demonstrates your respect for their thought partnership. Mentors want to add value. Help them help you, and together, you’ll create something that wouldn’t have happened without your own curiosity conversation. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Penelope Cruz and I Needed “No Coordinators”
Born and raised in Spain, Penelope Cruz knew early that she wanted to be an actress.
At age 14, she researched talent agents in Madrid and discovered Katrina Bayonas. Despite Penelope’s young age, Katrina was captivated by her perseverance and acting skills and chose to represent her.
By age 15, Penelope was getting impatient, even desperate, to be cast in a movie. But her agent insisted that Penelope wait and choose her projects strategically. That meant saying “No” to opportunities that did not fit.
As Penelope described it to the host of the podcast Awards Chatter,
“I would get so angry with [Katrina] and say, how dare you tell me that! I’m getting these opportunities to work, doing something that I love, why would I say ‘No’ to that director or that director?”
Begrudgingly, she listened to Katrina. Because Penelope was selective, she was available to pursue the two feature films that ultimately catapulted her to stardom at age 16: Jamon Jamon and Belle Epoque.
“These two movies were so good, with characters so different, that a lot of doors opened for me.”
Penelope’s initial success emboldened Katrina’s mentoring, insisting that Penelope become even more discerning about her career choices.
“I owe Katrina a lot, but the number one thing is that she taught me the lesson of saying ‘No.’ It was a concept that seemed risky for me.”
Today, 38 years later, Penelope still seeks Katrina’s mentoring and representation.
I felt a similar urgency when I became a new speaker. I grabbed every opportunity when it knocked, sometimes traveling hours to speak for a testimonial and a buffet dinner.
And now as a business owner, I am guilty of saying “Yes” to each client’s “Is it possible?” request. The people pleaser in me wants to surprise and delight everyone!
Fortunately, like Penelope, I have my own “No Coordinator” mentoring me… my team!
They recently suggested that we charge someone in every meeting with the power to say “No” or “We’ll see” to pause my incessant “yes!”ing. They have named this role the “No Coordinator.”
While embracing “Yes” is commendable when you’re exercising newfound courage and breaking out of your comfort zone. It can be debilitating when it’s an overeager or sycophantic reaction.
When my team stepped in, I quickly realized that saying “No” is saying “Yes” to my team, our mission, our vision, and our future.
© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.
[Flash] When Warren Beatty Mentored Ben Affleck with Directorial Advice
|
Ben Affleck has been acting since he was seven and curious about directing since college when he directed student films.
Over his career, Ben has starred in over 70 movies and directed five: Gone Baby Gone (2007), The Town (2010), Argo (2012), Air (2023), and Animals (2026). In a recent interview for Netflix Film School, Ben reflected on his journey from actor to director: “If you have genuine curiosity about what people do, they’re often really generous with sharing. “I have used my career as an actor to access people who could help me and teach me. I’ve learned something from every single director I’ve worked with.” In 1997, Ben co-wrote the screenplay and starred in the movie Good Will Hunting, directed by Gus Van Sant. Ben asked Gus, “What’s the most important key to directing?” Gus mentored, “You have to listen to the movie, because it will talk back to you.” In 2000, John Frankenheimer was hired to direct Ben in the movie Reindeer Games. When Ben expressed interest in directing someday, John invited Ben to shadow him throughout pre-production. In 2007, Ben directed his first movie, Gone Baby Gone. But before he ventured behind the camera, he wanted advice from an actor who also directs, so he reached out to legend Warren Beatty. Warren offered Ben this blunt but compelling advice: “Take ideas from anyone. Because at the end of the movie, the credits don’t say, ‘Directed by Ben Affleck but all the good ideas came from the prop guy.'” Warren’s mentoring highlights a challenge most new leaders experience: self-doubt. Desperate to prove ourselves in a new leadership role, we tend to overcompensate by trying to bring all the answers. “What I found was that when you really are open and listening to and willing to hear somebody who’s got an idea different from what you want to do, and they see you adopt it and go, ‘That looks great!’ it makes everybody want to contribute and be excited.” And he’s right. People feel valuable when they can contribute. But that requires a leader to let them. Embracing other people’s ideas doesn’t diminish our leadership but amplifies it. And in turn, people are eager to boost our success. Today, when Ben hears a viable idea, he responds, “Great idea!” and implements it, knowing the idea-givers will feel valued and eager to offer more. People support the leaders they shape. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Embrace Professional Jealousy – Advice from Knopf Editor
|
As an Editor for 25 years and the Vice President and Editorial Director of Fiction at Alfred A. Knopf Publishing, Jenny Jackson has worked with many authors. But she went into publishing to become a writer, her lifelong dream.
Along the way, people warned her, “You will be jealous of your writers.” And they were right. She was. She wanted her writers’ experience, their authorship journey. But in a recent interview, Jenny shared her take on professional jealousy: “I’ve come to regard professional jealousy as something a lot more positive than personal jealousy. I don’t think personal jealousy is a useful emotion.” An intriguing distinction: viewing professional jealousy as a productive emotion. “I think professional jealousy can be really useful because it can tell you what you want. If you see somebody getting success or speaking to some prestigious group or writing a TV show and you feel jealous, consider, is that something you want to be doing?” “I do sometimes feel jealous, and I try and listen to that as information about what I could try next.” She paid attention to that professional jealousy. In 2023, Jenny published her first book, Pineapple Street, and released her second, The Shampoo Effect, this year. When I was a corporate attorney in Silicon Valley, I was never jealous of my clients… until I was assigned my first woman entrepreneur. I distinctly remember envying her position as founder of her own start-up. What I didn’t realize was that watching that client lead her business sparked a future path in me, one I hadn’t even considered until I worked with her. Witnessing her success fueled possibility… is that something I want to be doing? In a world where we are constantly comparing ourselves to others in our orbit or on social media, Jenny’s approach is an empowering barometer… a way to mobilize our envy energy into reflection and action. The adage, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” is often said with resignation, as if acknowledging someone’s accomplishments somehow diminishes our own. What if comparison serves not to size up the competition but to gauge our interest in someone’s work instead? With this perspective, we can transform any rival into a role model mentor. Their success no longer threatening but informing us, sparking our growth! Editor Jenny earnestly concluded, “I hope that I continue to find other people I feel jealous of.” In other words, eagerly leaning into professional jealousy can help us unlock what’s next. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Who Knows the Birthday Girl Best? (Reflections to Ring in Your New Year)
|
During the pandemic, I introduced my family to a kids’ birthday party game: “Who Knows the Birthday Girl/Boy Best?”
At each person’s birthday dinner that year, I ceremoniously distributed pre-printed question cards and pens. Suddenly, we were discovering details about the people we thought we already knew best: favorite food, movie, singer, subject in school, vacation. This year, when my birthday threatened to sneak past without fanfare, I decided to mark it with a modified version of the game. In the week leading up to my birthday, I curated and considered a list of thoughtful questions… a deeply gratifying exercise that forced me to reflect on my year before it faded into my rearview mirror. Below are the questions I used and my answers, so you too can know the birthday girl better (me!) and pause to celebrate your next sun-circling anniversary: 1. How do you feel as you’re turning one year older? Appreciated 2. What were you doing a year ago today? Attending a wedding and supporting my husband through chemo 3. What’s the biggest thing that’s changed for you this year? He survived cancer; I survived caregiving. 4. What are you glad you did this year? Expanded and empowered my team 5. What is a significant challenge you overcame this year? Reconciled with my sister following a few years of hurt feelings and misunderstandings 6. What’s one goal you achieved that you’re proud of? Visited one out-of-town friend in person every month 7. What is a memorable experience from the past year? The Grand Canyon 8. What valuable lesson have you learned about yourself this past year? I tend to muzzle my thoughts and feelings when I’m powering through challenging situations which inadvertently pushes people away. 9. How have you grown emotionally this year? Slower to anger. Quicker to vulnerable. 10. What’s one habit you developed this year? Food prepping 11. What’s one thing you would change about this past year? My body bore the brunt. 12. What do you want less of next year? Clutter (physically and mentally) 13. What do you want more of next year? Sleep, muscles, patience 14. What hobby would you like to start? Knitting 15. What are you looking forward to in the next few months? African safari 16. How do you want to feel one year from now? Healthy, strong, connected 17. What scares you most about aging? Losing time and people 18. Best advice you would give your younger self. Take notes at the end of each day. The details fade quickly. 19. What is one word you can choose as your inspiration going into your next year? Serenity 20. What fun birthday tradition could you start? Call people on my birthday instead of waiting for them to call me. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] When the Prosecutors Wanted Our Advice: Jury Duty and the Power of Perspective
|
When I received a jury duty summons in the mail, I cringed.
I blocked my calendar, but complained for weeks about the inconvenience, desperately searching for excuses to be dismissed. When I begrudgingly arrived at the courthouse, I felt like Molly Ringwald’s character in the iconic 80s movie The Breakfast Club, showing up for Saturday detention, beseeching Mr. Vernon’s compassion for her unfortunate circumstances. She pouted, “Sir, I think there’s been a mistake. I don’t think I belong in here.” Unfazed by my brooding, the bailiff smiled warmly, handed me a juror number, and directed me to sit with the rest of the summoned to watch video instructions. Slowly, I shifted my irritation to curiosity. I was determined to make the most of the experience. When the bailiff called our juror numbers and marched us into a courtroom for jury selection, I admittedly found myself swept up in the process, ironically even a little giddy that I was chosen to be on the jury! After we were sworn in, the attorneys made their opening statements, called witnesses, and presented closing arguments. We deliberated for an hour and returned a Not Guilty verdict, concluding that the prosecution had not proven the defendant’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. Back in the jury room, the bailiff asked if the two prosecuting attorneys could meet with us before we left. We agreed, but tentatively… was this a normal part of the process? Then the prosecutors did something surprising… They asked for our advice. They didn’t want to relitigate the case or question our judgment. They wanted to know our experience with them as prosecutors, our perspective on the case, and any advice we could offer to help them improve.
The attorneys didn’t miss the opportunity to learn from us directly. They didn’t hide behind their law degrees, a feedback form, or their own righteousness. They weren’t embarrassed, defensive, or agitated. They were curious. And that humility and vulnerability made us eager to engage in the conversation and contribute. All they did was show up and ask, “What did you see?” © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] How Comedian Robby Hoffman Became a Mentor Magnet
|
Accountant-turned-comedian, Robby Hoffman, received the following text a few years ago: “Hi Robby. This is John Mulaney. I have been a big fan of your work for a while and really enjoyed you on WTF [with Marc Maron podcast]. I know you have various things going on, but if you’d ever want to talk about doing a special for Netflix, I make them and would be very excited to work with you on one.” When Robby shares this experience during interviews, she sounds like she is in perpetual disbelief at her luck. As if she randomly won the lottery rather than intentionally attracted mentoring. Who is John Mulaney? A comedian, actor, writer, director, and producer who sat in the audience at Robby’s show and recognized her potential. “I don’t know what he saw, but he was sent to me out of thin air to help me. He threw his weight behind me.” John handled all of the production, from staging to lighting to directing. In return, Robby showed up, pledging to deliver her greatest hour of standup. “I knew that I was not going to let him down. He didn’t let me down.” The 2025 Netflix show “Robby Hoffman: Wake Up” marked a catapult for Robby’s career. Angela Duckworth, author of the new book Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best, would dub Robby a “mentor magnet,” someone who proactively attracts Mentors. How can we become a mentor magnet like Robby? Angela postulates that we can attract Mentors by spotting helpful people and responding with eagerness and curiosity. Arguably, however, Robby’s mentor magnetism started long before Robby spotted John’s helpfulness in his text. She sparked his desire to help by:
John would never have reached out to Robby to offer help if he hadn’t observed her commitment, if she had an antagonistic reputation, or if she was obnoxiously overconfident. That person repels Mentors. Robby’s enthusiastic response to John’s text validated his offer and emboldened him to do more than is necessary. When you notice someone unexpectedly eager to be helpful, respond with:
You will attract more helpfulness. As Robby discovered and Angela bottom-lined it in Situated, “Opportunities come easier when your situation includes Mentors.” But first, to attract those Mentors, be someone who others want to mentor. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |