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At each person’s birthday dinner that year, I ceremoniously distributed pre-printed question cards and pens. Suddenly, we were discovering details about the people we thought we already knew best: favorite food, movie, singer, subject in school, vacation.

This year, when my birthday threatened to sneak past without fanfare, I decided to mark it with a modified version of the game.

In the week leading up to my birthday, I curated and considered a list of thoughtful questions… a deeply gratifying exercise that forced me to reflect on my year before it faded into my rearview mirror.

Below are the questions I used and my answers, so you too can know the birthday girl better (me!) and pause to celebrate your next sun-circling anniversary:

1. How do you feel as you’re turning one year older? Appreciated

2. What were you doing a year ago today? Attending a wedding and supporting my husband through chemo

3. What’s the biggest thing that’s changed for you this year? He survived cancer; I survived caregiving.

4. What are you glad you did this year? Expanded and empowered my team

5. What is a significant challenge you overcame this year? Reconciled with my sister following a few years of hurt feelings and misunderstandings

6. What’s one goal you achieved that you’re proud of? Visited one out-of-town friend in person every month

7. What is a memorable experience from the past year? The Grand Canyon 

8. What valuable lesson have you learned about yourself this past year? I tend to muzzle my thoughts and feelings when I’m powering through challenging situations which inadvertently pushes people away.

9. How have you grown emotionally this year? Slower to anger. Quicker to vulnerable. 

10. What’s one habit you developed this year? Food prepping 

11. What’s one thing you would change about this past year? My body bore the brunt.

12. What do you want less of next year? Clutter (physically and mentally)

13. What do you want more of next year? Sleep, muscles, patience

14. What hobby would you like to start? Knitting

15. What are you looking forward to in the next few months? African safari

16. How do you want to feel one year from now? Healthy, strong, connected 

17. What scares you most about aging? Losing time and people

18. Best advice you would give your younger self. Take notes at the end of each day. The details fade quickly.

19. What is one word you can choose as your inspiration going into your next year? Serenity

20. What fun birthday tradition could you start? Call people on my birthday instead of waiting for them to call me.

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

I blocked my calendar, but complained for weeks about the inconvenience, desperately searching for excuses to be dismissed.

When I begrudgingly arrived at the courthouse, I felt like Molly Ringwald’s character in the iconic 80s movie The Breakfast Club, showing up for Saturday detention, beseeching Mr. Vernon’s compassion for her unfortunate circumstances. She pouted, “Sir, I think there’s been a mistake. I don’t think I belong in here.”

Unfazed by my brooding, the bailiff smiled warmly, handed me a juror number, and directed me to sit with the rest of the summoned to watch video instructions.

Slowly, I shifted my irritation to curiosity. I was determined to make the most of the experience.

When the bailiff called our juror numbers and marched us into a courtroom for jury selection, I admittedly found myself swept up in the process, ironically even a little giddy that I was chosen to be on the jury!

After we were sworn in, the attorneys made their opening statements, called witnesses, and presented closing arguments. We deliberated for an hour and returned a Not Guilty verdict, concluding that the prosecution had not proven the defendant’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.

Back in the jury room, the bailiff asked if the two prosecuting attorneys could meet with us before we left.

We agreed, but tentatively… was this a normal part of the process?

Then the prosecutors did something surprising…

They asked for our advice.

They didn’t want to relitigate the case or question our judgment.

They wanted to know our experience with them as prosecutors, our perspective on the case, and any advice we could offer to help them improve. 

• Where had they failed to make their case? 
• What did we hear that led to our Not Guilty verdict? 
• What could they have done differently? 
• Did we mind that one of them was wearing a nose ring? (We didn’t.)
• Could we tell this was their first case argued in court? (We couldn’t.)

The attorneys didn’t miss the opportunity to learn from us directly. They didn’t hide behind their law degrees, a feedback form, or their own righteousness.

They weren’t embarrassed, defensive, or agitated.

They were curious.

And that humility and vulnerability made us eager to engage in the conversation and contribute.

All they did was show up and ask, “What did you see?”

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

When Robby shares this experience during interviews, she sounds like she is in perpetual disbelief at her luck. As if she randomly won the lottery rather than intentionally attracted mentoring.

Who is John Mulaney? A comedian, actor, writer, director, and producer who sat in the audience at Robby’s show and recognized her potential.

“I don’t know what he saw, but he was sent to me out of thin air to help me. He threw his weight behind me.” 

John handled all of the production, from staging to lighting to directing. In return, Robby showed up, pledging to deliver her greatest hour of standup. “I knew that I was not going to let him down. He didn’t let me down.”

The 2025 Netflix show “Robby Hoffman: Wake Up” marked a catapult for Robby’s career.

Angela Duckworth, author of the new book Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best, would dub Robby a “mentor magnet,” someone who proactively attracts Mentors.

How can we become a mentor magnet like Robby? Angela postulates that we can attract Mentors by spotting helpful people and responding with eagerness and curiosity.

Arguably, however, Robby’s mentor magnetism started long before Robby spotted John’s helpfulness in his text. She sparked his desire to help by:

• bravely showcasing her talent
• demonstrating a commitment to stretch and grow
• cultivating a solid reputation, a good work ethic, and integrity
• exhibiting humility

John would never have reached out to Robby to offer help if he hadn’t observed her commitment, if she had an antagonistic reputation, or if she was obnoxiously overconfident. That person repels Mentors.

Robby’s enthusiastic response to John’s text validated his offer and emboldened him to do more than is necessary.

When you notice someone unexpectedly eager to be helpful, respond with:

• willingness to receive their help
• genuine curiosity to learn from them
• initiative and action
• gratitude

You will attract more helpfulness.

As Robby discovered and Angela bottom-lined it in Situated, “Opportunities come easier when your situation includes Mentors.”

But first, to attract those Mentors, be someone who others want to mentor.

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

As Tony Spring recalled on the How Leaders Learn podcast, he replied, “Why would I move? I have the best job.”

Then Mike countered, “You have the opportunity to do more in the organization. But you need to understand enterprise thinking, all the facets that ultimately drive our business and attract our customers.”

Mike’s mentoring nudged Tony out of his comfort zone.

• Tony moved from marketing to operations and ran Bloomingdale’s stores for three years.
• In 2008, he became President and COO of Bloomingdale’s.
• In 2014, he was promoted to Bloomingdale’s CEO when Mike retired.
• In 2024, Tony was promoted to CEO of Macy’s, Bloomingdale’s parent company.

Tony reflected on Mike’s mentoring, “Mike Gould encouraged me to use my intellectual curiosity, to show my heart, to be present with my family. And he gave me the learnings that he had in his own life. He wanted to make sure that I benefited from those experiences.”

While Mike was not officially assigned to be Tony’s mentor, he saw potential in Tony, even more than Tony saw in himself.

As a leader, Mike was charged with succession, an exercise he approached not as a reaction to someone’s departure but as a runway for the future.

While most people zoom in, distracted by their daily challenges, Mike made it a priority to zoom out and ahead. 

Mike didn’t retire for another 10 years after the “Tony, I want you to move” conversation. He wasn’t scrambling to fill a headcount. He didn’t need Tony to move out of necessity. He wanted Tony to prepare to be part of the future.

But succession only works if people with potential believe in their potential. Mike used mentoring to fuel that belief.

He couldn’t wait for potential to emerge. He first had to notice people:

• Are they staying?
• Are they growing?
• Are they moving?
• Are they mentoring others?

But it wasn’t enough that Mike noticed Tony’s potential. Succession happened because Mike built the relationship that made that potential visible and actionable.

Succession isn’t simply about replacing the retired with the newly hired. It’s about growing people to not only carry the future but to believe in their potential to do so.

And just like that, mentoring becomes the linchpin in succession.

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

And then I discovered the book Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing by Leslie John, a behavioral scientist and professor at Harvard Business School.

According to Leslie’s research, the risks of under-sharing are far greater than the risks of oversharing. Turns out that “too little information” (TLI) can be equally harmful to our relationships.

When we share something meaningful with someone, we communicate our trust in them because we value the relationship.

But when we under-share our struggles or our shines, we withhold ourselves from the other person, leaving them feeling excluded and untrustworthy.

Concerned that we might look foolish, weak, incompetent, needy, or unprofessional, we tend to hold back.

Our instinct is to protect ourselves by saying less, ignoring the relationship consequences of withholding.

During the period when my dog died, my mom struggled with dementia before dying, and my husband battled cancer, TLI became my MO. I pulled back and muscled through the demands of caregiving.

Someone who was once close to me angrily described me as “unapproachable.” I hurt her feelings when I didn’t let her in. By not sharing, I announced, “I don’t need you,” the death knell to any relationship.

But Leslie argues in Revealing that we don’t just need to trauma-share or dump more information onto others. We need to share information that reveals our humanity.

Between TMI and TLI is RI: Revealing Information.

RI is not indiscriminate oversharing. It’s appropriate self-disclosure, authentically showing our friends and mentoring partners the work in progress that we are.

What gets shared in RI? Our uncertainties, mistakes, fears, doubts, thought processes, emotions, and growth journey. That which makes us more authentic and credible, allowing someone to understand us better.

To identify RI, consider:

• “Would revealing this help my relationship or our conversation?”
• “What would be useful for this person to know about me?” 

Revealing our humanity is a trust-building act. By taking this small social risk, we declare to another person, “I trust you with this. You now understand me better.” In doing so, we give them permission to do the same.

When we share our wins, wobbles, and wonders, we not only strengthen trust and connection, we allow another person to see our humanity and root for us.

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

Dolly Parton is:

• one of the most decorated artists in American entertainment (winning over 190 awards!),
• the visionary behind Dollywood (generating money and opportunity in her home state since 1986),
• the creator of the Dollywood Foundation (providing scholarships to high-school seniors since 1988),
• and the founder of Imagination Library (gifting over 300 million free books to children since 1995).

But as evidenced by the tributes pouring in this week, her mentoring outsparkled her ubiquitous outfits and eclipsed her amassed achievements and accolades.

Shania Twain: Dolly was my “mentor and songwriting teacher.”
Miley Cyrus: Dolly was not only her godmother but served as her mentor, advising her throughout her career.
Lorrie Morgan: “Dolly took me under her wing.”
Reba McEntire: Regularly called Dolly for advice.
Lainey Wilson: Dolly offered her advice on passion, discernment, and saying, “No.”
Reese Witherspoon: Dolly helped her prepare for her role as June Carter Cash.
Julie Roberts: Dolly offered her career and life advice on the set of Steel Magnolias.
Carly Pearce: Dolly gave her professional opportunities to perform at Dollywood and the Grand Ole Opry.
Beyoncé: Dolly publicly welcomed and encouraged her move into country music.

How did Dolly, a girl from Tennessee, one of 12 children sharing a one-bedroom house, learn to be so unselfish with her time, money, and influence?

She was generously mentored.

(1) Dolly’s Uncle Bill Owen. As Dolly shared during Bill’s eulogy in 2021: “I wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t been there.” 

Country music songwriter, Bill is credited as the man who launched Dolly’s career. He taught her how to play the guitar at 8, booked her first performance on a radio show at 10, and scheduled her for the Grand Ole Opry at 13. He tirelessly walked the streets, knocking on doors to get Dolly signed with a record label.

Why? He believed in her. “The greatest thing Uncle Bill ever did for me was to help me see my dreams come true, and for that I will forever be grateful.”

(2) Country star Porter Wagoner.
Before Dolly was a household name, she struggled as a solo artist. Porter recognized her talent and recruited Dolly to join his variety television series. He supported and elevated her career for 7 years until she felt ready to strike out on her own again.

Dolly Parton undoubtedly lived a star-studded life. But her most indelible mark was made through the mentoring moments she created by lifting others, opening doors, and changing lives. Because people did that for her.

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

I am an avid reader, but I don’t enjoy books that I find soul-crushing, insufferably boring, or unnecessarily long.

My book recommendation list, however, is highly curated, bursting with books that I found inspiring, uplifting, empowering, surprising, or enlightening!

While I am enjoying my annual sojourn to Beaver Island, Michigan, I’m sharing a few of my favorite reads this year. (To see last year’s list, click here.)

Fiction for the feels:

• Lady Tremaine by Rachel Hochhauser
• The Calamity Club by Kate Stockett
• The Lion Women of Tehran by Marian Kamali
• Theo of Golden by Allen Levi [thank you, Greg, for gifting me this gem!]
• My Friends by Fredrick Backman
• Heartwood by Amity Gaige
• Tomorrow, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
• The Only Woman in the Room by Marie Benedict
• The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon

When you want to be a better mentor and human being:

• The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More by Jefferson Fisher
• The Stoic Challenge: A Philosopher’s Guide to Becoming Tougher, Calmer, and More Resilient by William B. Irvine
• Are You Mad at Me? How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You by Meg Josephson, LCSW
• Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves by Alison Wood Brooks
• What to Make of a Life: Cliffs, Fog, Fires and the Self-Knowledge Imperative by Jim Collins

When you want to lead like an entrepreneur:

• Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More than They Expect by Will Guidara
• The Customer Success Economy: Why Every Aspect of Your Business Model Needs a Paradigm Shift by Nick Mehta and Allison Pickens [thank you, Lesa, for this recommendation!]
• Who Not How: The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamwork by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
• Write a Must-Read: Craft a Book that Changes Lives – Including Your Own by AJ Harper
• Put Your Ass Where Your Heart Wants to Be by Steven Pressfield

Happy reading! All book recommendations welcome!

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.

He deploys a simple yet powerful, albeit counterintuitive, concept: the business is the Guide and the customer is the Hero. 

The Guide’s job is not to save the day. The Guide understands the Hero’s problem and helps the Hero solve their problem.

Miller delineated his methodology in the 7-part StoryBrand framework:

1. a character (the Hero)
2. has a problem
3. meets a Guide
4. who shows them a path forward
5. and calls them to action
6. helping them avoid failure
7. and ultimately achieve success

On a recent podcast episode, Miller took a departure from his standard marketing topics to apply the Guide-and-Hero concept to build connection.

Miller explored how to turn everyday conversations into magnetic, trust-building exercises where people feel seen, heard, and valued.

In our incessant quest to be liked, we tend to overvalue competence and overlook the value of connection.

This approach results in talking far more than we listen, dazzling others with our amazing stories. Our conversational partner doesn’t feel valued and understood. They feel ignored and talked at.

Miller suggests one question to help us prioritize connection over competence:

“What does this person need from me right now?”

This question shifts our stance from look-at-me to what-about-you, positioning us as the Guide and our conversational partner as the Hero.

As the Guide, we can help our Hero meet their needs, which builds connection and strengthens trust.

Miller argues that everyone in every conversation needs something: affirmation, information, validation, solution, wisdom, encouragement, inspiration…

How do we know what they need? We can ask. We can listen. We can observe. We can guess.

The point is not to be right about what they need; it’s to be curious about their needs. By entering the conversation as the Guide, we can discover how to support the Hero, not impress them with our resume.

Similarly, in our mentoring relationships, the Mentor is the Guide, and the Mentee is the Hero.

As the Mentor, our job is to understand a Mentee’s problem, show them a path forward, prompt them to act, and help them get somewhere they couldn’t easily get to alone.

When trust is the gateway and the linchpin, approach each interaction by asking, “What does my Mentee need from me right now?”

© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.