Category Archives for Blog
[Flash] Penelope Cruz and I Needed “No Coordinators”
Born and raised in Spain, Penelope Cruz knew early that she wanted to be an actress.
At age 14, she researched talent agents in Madrid and discovered Katrina Bayonas. Despite Penelope’s young age, Katrina was captivated by her perseverance and acting skills and chose to represent her.
By age 15, Penelope was getting impatient, even desperate, to be cast in a movie. But her agent insisted that Penelope wait and choose her projects strategically. That meant saying “No” to opportunities that did not fit.
As Penelope described it to the host of the podcast Awards Chatter,
“I would get so angry with [Katrina] and say, how dare you tell me that! I’m getting these opportunities to work, doing something that I love, why would I say ‘No’ to that director or that director?”
Begrudgingly, she listened to Katrina. Because Penelope was selective, she was available to pursue the two feature films that ultimately catapulted her to stardom at age 16: Jamon Jamon and Belle Epoque.
“These two movies were so good, with characters so different, that a lot of doors opened for me.”
Penelope’s initial success emboldened Katrina’s mentoring, insisting that Penelope become even more discerning about her career choices.
“I owe Katrina a lot, but the number one thing is that she taught me the lesson of saying ‘No.’ It was a concept that seemed risky for me.”
Today, 38 years later, Penelope still seeks Katrina’s mentoring and representation.
I felt a similar urgency when I became a new speaker. I grabbed every opportunity when it knocked, sometimes traveling hours to speak for a testimonial and a buffet dinner.
And now as a business owner, I am guilty of saying “Yes” to each client’s “Is it possible?” request. The people pleaser in me wants to surprise and delight everyone!
Fortunately, like Penelope, I have my own “No Coordinator” mentoring me… my team!
They recently suggested that we charge someone in every meeting with the power to say “No” or “We’ll see” to pause my incessant “yes!”ing. They have named this role the “No Coordinator.”
While embracing “Yes” is commendable when you’re exercising newfound courage and breaking out of your comfort zone. It can be debilitating when it’s an overeager or sycophantic reaction.
When my team stepped in, I quickly realized that saying “No” is saying “Yes” to my team, our mission, our vision, and our future.
© 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.
[Flash] When Warren Beatty Mentored Ben Affleck with Directorial Advice
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Ben Affleck has been acting since he was seven and curious about directing since college when he directed student films.
Over his career, Ben has starred in over 70 movies and directed five: Gone Baby Gone (2007), The Town (2010), Argo (2012), Air (2023), and Animals (2026). In a recent interview for Netflix Film School, Ben reflected on his journey from actor to director: “If you have genuine curiosity about what people do, they’re often really generous with sharing. “I have used my career as an actor to access people who could help me and teach me. I’ve learned something from every single director I’ve worked with.” In 1997, Ben co-wrote the screenplay and starred in the movie Good Will Hunting, directed by Gus Van Sant. Ben asked Gus, “What’s the most important key to directing?” Gus mentored, “You have to listen to the movie, because it will talk back to you.” In 2000, John Frankenheimer was hired to direct Ben in the movie Reindeer Games. When Ben expressed interest in directing someday, John invited Ben to shadow him throughout pre-production. In 2007, Ben directed his first movie, Gone Baby Gone. But before he ventured behind the camera, he wanted advice from an actor who also directs, so he reached out to legend Warren Beatty. Warren offered Ben this blunt but compelling advice: “Take ideas from anyone. Because at the end of the movie, the credits don’t say, ‘Directed by Ben Affleck but all the good ideas came from the prop guy.'” Warren’s mentoring highlights a challenge most new leaders experience: self-doubt. Desperate to prove ourselves in a new leadership role, we tend to overcompensate by trying to bring all the answers. “What I found was that when you really are open and listening to and willing to hear somebody who’s got an idea different from what you want to do, and they see you adopt it and go, ‘That looks great!’ it makes everybody want to contribute and be excited.” And he’s right. People feel valuable when they can contribute. But that requires a leader to let them. Embracing other people’s ideas doesn’t diminish our leadership but amplifies it. And in turn, people are eager to boost our success. Today, when Ben hears a viable idea, he responds, “Great idea!” and implements it, knowing the idea-givers will feel valued and eager to offer more. People support the leaders they shape. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Embrace Professional Jealousy – Advice from Knopf Editor
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As an Editor for 25 years and the Vice President and Editorial Director of Fiction at Alfred A. Knopf Publishing, Jenny Jackson has worked with many authors. But she went into publishing to become a writer, her lifelong dream.
Along the way, people warned her, “You will be jealous of your writers.” And they were right. She was. She wanted her writers’ experience, their authorship journey. But in a recent interview, Jenny shared her take on professional jealousy: “I’ve come to regard professional jealousy as something a lot more positive than personal jealousy. I don’t think personal jealousy is a useful emotion.” An intriguing distinction: viewing professional jealousy as a productive emotion. “I think professional jealousy can be really useful because it can tell you what you want. If you see somebody getting success or speaking to some prestigious group or writing a TV show and you feel jealous, consider, is that something you want to be doing?” “I do sometimes feel jealous, and I try and listen to that as information about what I could try next.” She paid attention to that professional jealousy. In 2023, Jenny published her first book, Pineapple Street, and released her second, The Shampoo Effect, this year. When I was a corporate attorney in Silicon Valley, I was never jealous of my clients… until I was assigned my first woman entrepreneur. I distinctly remember envying her position as founder of her own start-up. What I didn’t realize was that watching that client lead her business sparked a future path in me, one I hadn’t even considered until I worked with her. Witnessing her success fueled possibility… is that something I want to be doing? In a world where we are constantly comparing ourselves to others in our orbit or on social media, Jenny’s approach is an empowering barometer… a way to mobilize our envy energy into reflection and action. The adage, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” is often said with resignation, as if acknowledging someone’s accomplishments somehow diminishes our own. What if comparison serves not to size up the competition but to gauge our interest in someone’s work instead? With this perspective, we can transform any rival into a role model mentor. Their success no longer threatening but informing us, sparking our growth! Editor Jenny earnestly concluded, “I hope that I continue to find other people I feel jealous of.” In other words, eagerly leaning into professional jealousy can help us unlock what’s next. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Who Knows the Birthday Girl Best? (Reflections to Ring in Your New Year)
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During the pandemic, I introduced my family to a kids’ birthday party game: “Who Knows the Birthday Girl/Boy Best?”
At each person’s birthday dinner that year, I ceremoniously distributed pre-printed question cards and pens. Suddenly, we were discovering details about the people we thought we already knew best: favorite food, movie, singer, subject in school, vacation. This year, when my birthday threatened to sneak past without fanfare, I decided to mark it with a modified version of the game. In the week leading up to my birthday, I curated and considered a list of thoughtful questions… a deeply gratifying exercise that forced me to reflect on my year before it faded into my rearview mirror. Below are the questions I used and my answers, so you too can know the birthday girl better (me!) and pause to celebrate your next sun-circling anniversary: 1. How do you feel as you’re turning one year older? Appreciated 2. What were you doing a year ago today? Attending a wedding and supporting my husband through chemo 3. What’s the biggest thing that’s changed for you this year? He survived cancer; I survived caregiving. 4. What are you glad you did this year? Expanded and empowered my team 5. What is a significant challenge you overcame this year? Reconciled with my sister following a few years of hurt feelings and misunderstandings 6. What’s one goal you achieved that you’re proud of? Visited one out-of-town friend in person every month 7. What is a memorable experience from the past year? The Grand Canyon 8. What valuable lesson have you learned about yourself this past year? I tend to muzzle my thoughts and feelings when I’m powering through challenging situations which inadvertently pushes people away. 9. How have you grown emotionally this year? Slower to anger. Quicker to vulnerable. 10. What’s one habit you developed this year? Food prepping 11. What’s one thing you would change about this past year? My body bore the brunt. 12. What do you want less of next year? Clutter (physically and mentally) 13. What do you want more of next year? Sleep, muscles, patience 14. What hobby would you like to start? Knitting 15. What are you looking forward to in the next few months? African safari 16. How do you want to feel one year from now? Healthy, strong, connected 17. What scares you most about aging? Losing time and people 18. Best advice you would give your younger self. Take notes at the end of each day. The details fade quickly. 19. What is one word you can choose as your inspiration going into your next year? Serenity 20. What fun birthday tradition could you start? Call people on my birthday instead of waiting for them to call me. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] When the Prosecutors Wanted Our Advice: Jury Duty and the Power of Perspective
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When I received a jury duty summons in the mail, I cringed.
I blocked my calendar, but complained for weeks about the inconvenience, desperately searching for excuses to be dismissed. When I begrudgingly arrived at the courthouse, I felt like Molly Ringwald’s character in the iconic 80s movie The Breakfast Club, showing up for Saturday detention, beseeching Mr. Vernon’s compassion for her unfortunate circumstances. She pouted, “Sir, I think there’s been a mistake. I don’t think I belong in here.” Unfazed by my brooding, the bailiff smiled warmly, handed me a juror number, and directed me to sit with the rest of the summoned to watch video instructions. Slowly, I shifted my irritation to curiosity. I was determined to make the most of the experience. When the bailiff called our juror numbers and marched us into a courtroom for jury selection, I admittedly found myself swept up in the process, ironically even a little giddy that I was chosen to be on the jury! After we were sworn in, the attorneys made their opening statements, called witnesses, and presented closing arguments. We deliberated for an hour and returned a Not Guilty verdict, concluding that the prosecution had not proven the defendant’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. Back in the jury room, the bailiff asked if the two prosecuting attorneys could meet with us before we left. We agreed, but tentatively… was this a normal part of the process? Then the prosecutors did something surprising… They asked for our advice. They didn’t want to relitigate the case or question our judgment. They wanted to know our experience with them as prosecutors, our perspective on the case, and any advice we could offer to help them improve.
The attorneys didn’t miss the opportunity to learn from us directly. They didn’t hide behind their law degrees, a feedback form, or their own righteousness. They weren’t embarrassed, defensive, or agitated. They were curious. And that humility and vulnerability made us eager to engage in the conversation and contribute. All they did was show up and ask, “What did you see?” © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] How Comedian Robby Hoffman Became a Mentor Magnet
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Accountant-turned-comedian, Robby Hoffman, received the following text a few years ago: “Hi Robby. This is John Mulaney. I have been a big fan of your work for a while and really enjoyed you on WTF [with Marc Maron podcast]. I know you have various things going on, but if you’d ever want to talk about doing a special for Netflix, I make them and would be very excited to work with you on one.” When Robby shares this experience during interviews, she sounds like she is in perpetual disbelief at her luck. As if she randomly won the lottery rather than intentionally attracted mentoring. Who is John Mulaney? A comedian, actor, writer, director, and producer who sat in the audience at Robby’s show and recognized her potential. “I don’t know what he saw, but he was sent to me out of thin air to help me. He threw his weight behind me.” John handled all of the production, from staging to lighting to directing. In return, Robby showed up, pledging to deliver her greatest hour of standup. “I knew that I was not going to let him down. He didn’t let me down.” The 2025 Netflix show “Robby Hoffman: Wake Up” marked a catapult for Robby’s career. Angela Duckworth, author of the new book Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best, would dub Robby a “mentor magnet,” someone who proactively attracts Mentors. How can we become a mentor magnet like Robby? Angela postulates that we can attract Mentors by spotting helpful people and responding with eagerness and curiosity. Arguably, however, Robby’s mentor magnetism started long before Robby spotted John’s helpfulness in his text. She sparked his desire to help by:
John would never have reached out to Robby to offer help if he hadn’t observed her commitment, if she had an antagonistic reputation, or if she was obnoxiously overconfident. That person repels Mentors. Robby’s enthusiastic response to John’s text validated his offer and emboldened him to do more than is necessary. When you notice someone unexpectedly eager to be helpful, respond with:
You will attract more helpfulness. As Robby discovered and Angela bottom-lined it in Situated, “Opportunities come easier when your situation includes Mentors.” But first, to attract those Mentors, be someone who others want to mentor. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] When the CEO of Bloomingdale’s Mentored the CEO of Macy’s
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When Mike Gould was the CEO of Bloomingdale’s, he approached the Senior Director of Marketing and said, “Tony, I want you to move.”
As Tony Spring recalled on the How Leaders Learn podcast, he replied, “Why would I move? I have the best job.” Then Mike countered, “You have the opportunity to do more in the organization. But you need to understand enterprise thinking, all the facets that ultimately drive our business and attract our customers.” Mike’s mentoring nudged Tony out of his comfort zone.
Tony reflected on Mike’s mentoring, “Mike Gould encouraged me to use my intellectual curiosity, to show my heart, to be present with my family. And he gave me the learnings that he had in his own life. He wanted to make sure that I benefited from those experiences.” While Mike was not officially assigned to be Tony’s mentor, he saw potential in Tony, even more than Tony saw in himself. As a leader, Mike was charged with succession, an exercise he approached not as a reaction to someone’s departure but as a runway for the future. While most people zoom in, distracted by their daily challenges, Mike made it a priority to zoom out and ahead. Mike didn’t retire for another 10 years after the “Tony, I want you to move” conversation. He wasn’t scrambling to fill a headcount. He didn’t need Tony to move out of necessity. He wanted Tony to prepare to be part of the future. But succession only works if people with potential believe in their potential. Mike used mentoring to fuel that belief. He couldn’t wait for potential to emerge. He first had to notice people:
But it wasn’t enough that Mike noticed Tony’s potential. Succession happened because Mike built the relationship that made that potential visible and actionable. Succession isn’t simply about replacing the retired with the newly hired. It’s about growing people to not only carry the future but to believe in their potential to do so. And just like that, mentoring becomes the linchpin in succession. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] When TMI Outranks TLI: The Consequences of Not Sharing Enough
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I grew up with the belief that divulging “too much information” (TMI) was a sign of weakness, social incompetence, and a failure to read the room.
And then I discovered the book Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing by Leslie John, a behavioral scientist and professor at Harvard Business School. According to Leslie’s research, the risks of under-sharing are far greater than the risks of oversharing. Turns out that “too little information” (TLI) can be equally harmful to our relationships. When we share something meaningful with someone, we communicate our trust in them because we value the relationship. But when we under-share our struggles or our shines, we withhold ourselves from the other person, leaving them feeling excluded and untrustworthy. Concerned that we might look foolish, weak, incompetent, needy, or unprofessional, we tend to hold back. Our instinct is to protect ourselves by saying less, ignoring the relationship consequences of withholding. During the period when my dog died, my mom struggled with dementia before dying, and my husband battled cancer, TLI became my MO. I pulled back and muscled through the demands of caregiving. Someone who was once close to me angrily described me as “unapproachable.” I hurt her feelings when I didn’t let her in. By not sharing, I announced, “I don’t need you,” the death knell to any relationship. But Leslie argues in Revealing that we don’t just need to trauma-share or dump more information onto others. We need to share information that reveals our humanity. Between TMI and TLI is RI: Revealing Information. RI is not indiscriminate oversharing. It’s appropriate self-disclosure, authentically showing our friends and mentoring partners the work in progress that we are. What gets shared in RI? Our uncertainties, mistakes, fears, doubts, thought processes, emotions, and growth journey. That which makes us more authentic and credible, allowing someone to understand us better. To identify RI, consider:
Revealing our humanity is a trust-building act. By taking this small social risk, we declare to another person, “I trust you with this. You now understand me better.” In doing so, we give them permission to do the same. When we share our wins, wobbles, and wonders, we not only strengthen trust and connection, we allow another person to see our humanity and root for us. © 2026. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |