All Posts by Ann Tardy

I once had a client abandon their mentoring program because, in her words, “We are too busy for mentoring.” And I’ve had a mentee confess, “I just got a new role, so I don’t have time for mentoring. I’m dropping out of the program.”

But while it may not be urgent, mentoring is important as we navigate unchartered territory.

Why? Because mentoring is the circulation of wisdom. It’s the intentional exchange of advice, perspectives, and ideas for the purpose of accelerating success.

Look. Obi-Wan Kenobi is not coming. No one is going to save us, so we better learn to save ourselves… together.

When faced with change or crisis, we can circulate wisdom to:

• collect new ideas to help us innovate through the change or crisis
• identify our blindspots that may be hindering our success
• acclimate to and succeed in a new role or responsibility
• rediscover our own resilience as we integrate the new normal
• learn to cultivate calm and vigilance, not fuel frenzy and fear

But we cannot merely hope that we acquire the wisdom we need for the challenges we face. We must ensure that we do.

How? Deliberately create mentoring opportunities:

• schedule Advice Interviews with others regularly
• involve peers in generating solutions
• seek a variety of perspectives to make better decisions
• invite people to share their experiences and ideas
• turn strangers into connections using curiosity
• encourage and support mentoring programs to foster a culture that eagerly exchanges advice, perspectives, and ideas

When you feel too busy or overwhelmed for mentoring, consider wrestling that chaos, change, or crisis on your own, lacking essential wisdom.

Now more than ever we need to learn from each other. When nothing is certain, mentoring forges possibility.

This week I’m celebrating 5 years of Flash! It was March 2015 when I committed to writing and publishing a short article every week…

• to provide conversation starters for the mentors, mentees, and leaders in our programs
• to create a constant connection with people
• to contribute fresh ideas, strategies, and perspectives
• to hone my writing skills

I started with 11 people on my mailing list (including my mom). Today over 11,000 people receive Flash!

Inevitably every week, someone emails me.

Sometimes they send me a simple thank-you or a woo-hooo! Other times people write to tell me that they or their team really needed to hear that week’s message – as if I wrote it specifically for them.

But occasionally someone will email me their criticism. They might dislike my idea, argue about my perspective, reprimand my use of a story, or even point out a typo. Sometimes they even unsubscribe.

I have to admit, I take it to heart.

As a result, every week I pause to consider if I’m writing something that might inadvertently irritate, upset, offend, or even confuse my readers (you!). I reflect on the content and scrutinize it from different angles before I publish it.

And I don’t always get it right.

I recognize that it’s risky to put my perspectives and ideas out there each week, especially in this era of unabashed judging, criticizing, and hating.

But it’s a risk I’m willing to take to inspire, ignite, contribute to, and connect with all of you!

The secret is not to avoid criticism, but instead to have something compelling you to do, say, or be… in spite thereof. The power of that commitment will mute the volume of inescapable criticism.

Raul shouts, “Good morning! Howya doing?”
Random coffee-deficient people smile and respond, “Good! How are you?”
Raul bellows earnestly, “Unbelievably fantastic!”

I’ve been observing this exchange for years – his delivery never falters. And the affect is palpable – his energetic spirit lifts people’s moods.

Research suggests that positivity in the workplace:

• Improves teamwork and relationships
• Increases productivity
• Enhances job satisfaction and retention
• Bolsters performance and job growth
• Reduces stress and health issues

The benefits are so critical that a Japanese railway company once deployed scanning software to check that its employees were enthusiastically grinning. Each morning employees were required to beam into a camera that rated the quality of their smile and offered advice on how to look less gloomy.

But research shows that cultivating real positivity is more powerful than pretending.

• Deep Acting: really trying to be positive
• Surface Acting: faking positivity (like forced smiling into a camera)

Deep Actors are positive for prosocial reasons – to improve the workplace; whereas Surface Actors are just trying to impress the boss and keep their job.

So how can we intentionally generate positivity at work (even if we lean a bit pessimistic)?

Some proven deep-acting approaches:

1. Laugh more
2. Gossip less
3. Keep a gratitude list
4. Mentor others
5. Be curious and interested in co-workers
6. Celebrate, cheer, acknowledge, recognize
7. Notice excellence
8. Repeat the good stuff you hear about others
9. Put things in perspective
10. Reframe negative situations into learning situations
11. Lower your expectations on things you cannot control
12. Focus on possibilities
13. Be kind – everyone is battling an inner voice

There’s no reason we can’t all be… unbelievably fantastic!

During each presentation, the Sharks question entrepreneurs about their business model, financials, and strategic plans for growth.

And when an entrepreneur estimates or speculates in response, the Sharks explode in exasperation! They are incensed, even insulted, that an entrepreneur would ask for money based on mere guesses about the health of their business.

Shark Robert Herjavec frequently scolds, “You gotta know your numbers!”

Sharks recognize that guessing doesn’t produce greatness.

Where are we guessing at the expense of our own greatness?

• We don’t know our own numbers.
• We don’t know our people’s strengths, weaknesses, and career goals.
• We don’t know our boss’ priorities and needs.
• We don’t know our customers’ needs, wants, obstacles, or upsets.
• And then we assume others know our strengths, weaknesses, goals, needs, wants, obstacles, and upsets.

Why don’t we know? Why do we make assumptions about what others know?

We’re so busy! Right? We’re putting out fires. We’re consumed with emails, meetings, and calls. How quickly the urgent trumps the important.

But perhaps all that busyness is merely a diversion. Perhaps we:

• are afraid to know the reality of a situation
• dread making changes to improve the results we produce
• don’t want to be responsible for success or failure

So how do we stop guessing?

• for fitness, we have heart rate monitors and scales
• for financials, we have spreadsheets
• for vehicles, we have dashboards
• for people, we have assessments and surveys

But to really own a situation and the results we want, we need to ask better questions and engage in intentional, sometimes unnerving or uncomfortable, conversations.

When we’re committed to greatness, we must stop guessing and start gauging.

To strengthen this interest, my dad suggested that I open the phone book and write a letter to every law firm in town asking for a summer job.

So I did.

Unsurprisingly, I received a lot of rejection letters – what law firm wants to hire a 16-year-old high school student with no education or experience?

Boylan & Neptune did. They created an office assistant position for me for two summers before I left for college, and I loved it!

Cambridge Dictionary defines “gumption” as:

the ability to decide what is the best thing to do in a particular situation, and to do it with energy and determination

My parents believed that formula could be taught, wrought, and caught.

They fostered a culture of achievement in our house – they encouraged us to get ahead by standing out. They applauded guts, ambition, and action. They expected gumption! No wonder I didn’t even question mailing letters to law firms as a teenager…

Equally important, I grew up watching their courage and initiative:

• Without a college degree, my dad advanced from salesman to VP to owner of the company.
• Without a college degree, my mom shifted her secretarial path to real estate (earning Illinois Realtor of the Year!) and then became a managing broker.

And it worked. When I graduated from law school, I landed an interview at a firm. Instinctively, I called the other firms on my list to let them know. I suggested that they might want to interview me too. So they did. And my parents beamed with pride…

As bosses and mentors, what are you doing to inspire and embolden your people to rise to new challenges?