Search Results for: Not for me

Research from Professor Paul Zak at Claremont Graduate University reveals 8 boss behaviors that foster trust:

1. Intentionally building relationships
2. Facilitating whole-person growth
3. Showing vulnerability
4. Sharing information broadly
5. Inducing challenge stress
6. Encouraging autonomy
7. Recognizing excellence
8. Enabling job crafting

And of these, Zak discovered that our lowest trust scores occur in:

1. Recognizing excellence
2. Sharing information

Let’s pause to digest this… as bosses we are better at encouraging autonomy and enabling job crafting than we are at simply recognizing excellence and sharing information with people on our teams.

But when we dig into the reality of our jobs, here’s what’s happening:

• We’re busy so we forget to say “woo-hooo!”
• We’re obsessed about the happiness of our boss and our customers which has us constantly focused on what’s wrong or could go wrong (thereby neglecting to notice what’s going right).
• We filter information to ensure our people have exactly what they need to do their jobs.
• We think we’re bothering our already-busy teams.
• We believe they don’t really care – they just want a paycheck.

But they do care! In fact, Zak’s research shows that high-trust teams are more productive, have more energy, collaborate better, stress less, and stay longer.

So what should we do? Institutionalize recognition and information-sharing:

• Set a weekly calendar appointment to send appreciation emails
• Organize a daily huddle to exchange updates
• Write 1 thank-you card a week
• Create a peer-recognition program
• Solicit and post testimonials about the team from boss/customers/peers
• Add “recognize excellence” and “share information” to 1:1/team agendas
• Dissect quarterly shareholder reports with the team to explain the organization’s direction, goals, strategies, and tactics

Arguably recognizing people and sharing information should be organic leadership skills. But until they are…

We need intentional structures that help us strengthen these valuable, best-boss-ever, trust-building muscles.

My grandmother was a telephone operator for Ma Bell in Chicago.

• She set the record for number of calls answered in one month, raising the required minimum for all operators
• She was once on a break outside on a cold, icy day when she slipped on the sidewalk. To protect the team’s injury-free-days record, she claimed she fell across the street.
• She left to have children and returned as soon as they were all in school.
• She retired after 25 years of service, proudly wearing her AT&T, ruby-studded retirement ring until she died.

Mike Rowe, host of the show Dirty Jobs, recently reflected, “People I’ve met on my journeys didn’t realize their dream. They looked around for an opportunity. They identified the opportunity. They worked at the opportunity. They got good at the opportunity. And then they figured out how to love it.”

Researchers at Stanford affirmed Rowe’s perspective in a recent study, concluding that following our passion is harmful because it presumes that it’s something to be chased. Instead passion should be developed.

How?

• Cultivate interests
• Seek opportunities
• Ask, “How can I improve myself / this task / this role / my team / the organization?”
• Build a toolbox of skills, experiences, resources, connections, mentors, and mentees

I grew up wondering what my passion is… And then I discovered a business law class. I developed my interest: I sought mentoring, I went to law school, I created internships, and I became a corporate attorney. And I loved it!

Passion is not to be chased. Passion ignites from within.

The question is… what are you doing to fan the flames?

Character actor John C. Reilly shared his take on collaborating in an interview in The New York Times Magazine:

We have the opportunity to create a “third thing” whenever we have a problem to solve. In fact, studies show that collaboration generates better ideas. But how do we spark collaboration?

The Need-Your-Perspective Formula:

1. Pick a Problem
2. Identify a Person
3. Request their Perspective

Asking for someone’s perspective is powerful:

• It communicates respect for their experience, expertise, and wisdom.
• It rouses their awareness, interest, and even empathy.
• It’s a low-commitment “yes!”.

But people don’t help everyone who asks, so what else triggers their call to collaborate with us?

• Connection: they share a personal relationship or commonality with us
  (ex: a referral, working for the same company, belonging to the same association, participating in the same mentoring program)
• Belief in their Wisdom: they believe they have skills, expertise, and experience to contribute
• Personal Responsibility: they feel they can make a difference for us

When I asked Krista for her perspective on leadership for my next book, she instantly agreed. Why? We were connected through a mutual friend; she knew her experience offered a fresh outlook; and she knew she could make a difference by sharing it.

So don’t just ask people to get together for coffee. They will likely say they’re too busy.

Instead, ask people for their perspective on an issue, problem, or project you’re wrestling with.

Give them an opportunity to create a “third thing” with you (a solution!) that was not there before. 

It might be truly magical!

When I first heard this neurolinguistics concept, I started seeing it everywhere…

1. I walked into my obscenely-cluttered office and didn’t know where to start. So I closed the door and walked away.

2. I went to a company’s website, but it was congested with conflicting messages. I was confused and left without a purchase.

3. Bob asked me to refer him business, but I am confused about what he does, so I’ve never referred him.

4. Jane asked me for a job, but I am confused about what she could do for us, so I’ve never hired her.

5. I’ve witnessed some mentoring participants flounder, confused by the process or their goal. Typically they withdraw declaring, “I’m too busy.”

6. I had a team member not start a project because he didn’t understand what I needed.

7. I read an article about research that reveals the foundational cause of procrastination: confusion about where to focus one’s attention and energy.

A confused mind takes no action.

When we are confused about what to do, where to go, or where to focus, we tend not to act.

But action cannot depend on clarity. We gain clarity only through action. And not even the right action – just any action, no matter how granular:

• Discard one thing.
• Write one sentence.
• Ask one question.
• Make one phone call.
• Send one email.
• Do one push-up.

Because the reality is that we cannot be in action and stuck at the same time.

So consider…

• where are you confused?
• what granular action can you take immediately?
• where are you causing confusion for your people or an audience?
• how can you lift the fog to help people move forward with confidence?

Ultimately the ability to take action in spite of confusion distinguishes the fruitful from the foiled.

My OrangeTheory Fitness coach shouted these words to us in the 7:00am class:

Research suggests that a significant portion of our grit is mental, not physical.

The 40% Rule
Billionaire Jesse Itzler hired Navy SEAL David Goggins to live with him for 31 days and whip him into shape. (Jesse documented the experience in his book Living with a Seal.)

Goggins immediately introduced the 40% Rule: when your mind tells you you’ve reached your limit, you’re actually only 40% done.

Example: Goggins challenged Jesse with pull-ups. Jesse did 8 and collapsed. Goggins gave him a 30-second break and asked for more. Incredulous, Jesse did 6 and declared he was done! Goggins waited 30 seconds. Grudgingly, Jesse found 4 more… They continued until he reached 100.

The 3x Rule
When I started cycling, I learned we can pedal 3x as long as our longest training ride. Soon my 20-mile ride became a 60-mile ride, then my first century, then my first double century (200 miles in one day… a grueling 17-hour experience).

I pushed my limit, and my limit changed!

Our limits sound like this:

• I’ve never done that before…
• I don’t have time…
• I can’t get up that early…
• I wouldn’t know how…
• I can’t imagine…

So how do we push our limits?

1. Notice them
2. Rethink what’s possible (ask a Mentor for a fresh perspective!)
3. Take on new experiences – experiment!
4. Challenge the comfortable
5. When you think you’re done, take a break and try again

Grit is essential, not just in the gym or on a bike, but in our lives (the gym and bike simply allow us to practice our perseverance).

Bottom line: our remarkable only happens outside of our limits!