All Posts by Ann Tardy

My friends Connie and Mike are getting married in June (and I’m officiating the wedding!)

It’s a second marriage for both of them, and at our holiday gathering they declared, “We are burning the ships!”

”Burn the ships” is based on the legend of Hernán Cortés, an ambitious Spanish conquistador who arrived in Veracruz in 1519 determined to bring down the mighty Aztecs. He ordered his men to burn all of his ships, signaling his commitment to succeed or die trying – there would be no turning back! Two years later they successfully conquered the Aztec Empire.

It is the pinnacle of commitment when we “burn the ships!”

Like Cortes, my friends have signaled that quitting is not an option. They are determined to create a successful marriage or die trying.

We “burn the ships” when we elevate our commitment by removing any reliance on excuses or exit strategies.

It doesn’t mean we can’t change or improve a course of action, but when we are truly committed, giving up is not an option.

If you’re having a hard time committing to something, perhaps you still have “ships in the harbor” – an excuse, a rationalization, a justification.

But what makes it so hard to “burn the ships”?
• Fear of failure, judgment, criticism
• Perceived obligation or expectation
• Comfort
• Addiction

Naturally we cling to safety nets until we are no longer afraid. But this then leaves us half-committed, even paralyzed from taking action.

The question is… can we really be fully committed to success if there is always an out?

What ships are sitting in your harbor? What excuses do you need to let go of so you can move forward powerfully this year? Can you create a “burn the ships!” declaration like Connie and Mike?

Now I need to work this into their ceremony…

In my house growing up, my mom would invariably counter any hesitation with “What’s the worst that can happen?” She even employed this when I hesitated asking the cutest boy in class to the 8th grade Sadie Hawkins dance. (I did. He didn’t. But her nudge got me out of my head and into action!)

Her approach has since been backed by science…

In the 1980s, researchers discovered that our challenge with long-term goals is not willpower or motivation. Instead we are derailed by short-term, in-the-moment urges and deterrents!

• Staying in that cozy bed instead of getting up early to work out
• Eating a colleague’s homemade cookies instead of sticking to a diet
• Not flossing due to exhaustion after a late night at the office

Instantly a long-term goal of being healthy evaporates, and temptation wins! What starts with great intentions, falters in the face of one cookie or one warm, cozy bed.

NYC researcher Peter Gollwitzer tested a technique that could help evolve those greatly-intended resolutions into greatly-executed solutions: implementation intentions. Better known as an “if-then plan.”

Here’s how this self-regulatory strategy works: write down a goal, anticipate the obstacles (urges and deterrents), and create a concrete game plan to overcome them. Gollwitzer and his team devised the following template:

In other words, launch with a plan for the worst that could happen!

Example:

• Goal: exercise before work
• Obstacle/Temptation: sleeping in
• Strategy: arrange to meet a friend at the gym

Example:

• Goal: save more money
• Obstacle/Temptation: a ridiculous sale at a favorite shop
• Strategy: wait 24-hours before purchasing anything

Interestingly, Gollwitzer and his team discovered that the more difficult the goal, the better this strategy works.

So don’t just create Doomed New Year’s Resolutions. Create Intentional New Year’s Solutions!