Category Archives for Blog
[Flash] When a Toe is a Micro-Commitment
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In November, my mom broke the femur in her right leg in a slip-and-fall accident. After a week in the hospital and four weeks in rehab, her orthopedic surgeon finally announced, “Congratulations! You can now put 15% pressure on your right leg!”
Huh? He then explained, “You can put your big toe on the floor.” What?!? That’s not even a “baby step.” That’s just a toe. But it is progress. And that progress is bolstering my mom’s determination to walk again. Every hour during the day, she stands up using her walker and places that toe on the floor. It’s a micro-commitment. The micro-commitment is a strategy used in sales and marketing. By gaining agreements through tiny, incremental decisions, we increase the likelihood that a person will continue to engage in the process. For example, asking someone to type their name into a field on a webpage is a “micro-commitment.” The person does not agree to purchase anything, merely to provide their name – a small commitment, a toe on the floor. The micro-commitment is a valuable tool for any ambition. Because when we experience tiny, incremental accomplishments, we feel successful, which fuels our perseverance. In mentoring, a micro-commitment can be as simple as sending a check-in text, taking a note, or confirming the time for the next meeting. According to Dr. Robert Wubbolding, a pioneer of Reality Theory, there are 5 levels of commitment: Level 1: Lack of commitment (strong resistance) In this goal-obsessed, resolution-surrendering, self-flagellating month, the secret to tenacity is applying Level 5 to a micro-commitment. In other words, do whatever it takes to put that toe down again and again. © 2023. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Fan Favorites from 2022…
| As we reach the end of another year, we are granted a well-earned pause to appreciate where we’ve been and where we’re headed. Thank you for meeting me each week at the intersection of mentoring and leading!
Reflecting on the articles I wrote for you each week in 2022, I’m resharing the 8 that generated the most conversation: Five Questions to Seize Our 4,000 Weeks Three Roadblocks to Advice (and the Way Around Them) Obsession Beats Talent More Insights Less Information My High School Mentor Mentored Me Again When Jack Followed His Passion When My Boss Invited Me to Mentor Him When We Cheered for the Farmer and the Calf It is a joy to be on this bigger-better-bolder journey with you! Wishing you a seminal year ahead! © 2022. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Mute Your Face (and other Strategies to Improve your Holiday)
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Holidays are unpredictable. Without warning, we must navigate a medley of personalities and conversations.
Instead of hiding behind the eggnog, here are seven strategies to improve the adventure of these interactions: 1. Edit. 2. Mute your face. 3. Seek space. 4. Huh! 5. Tell me about… 6. Compliment unabashedly 7. Say, “Thanks for thinking of me!” Happy Holidays! © 2022. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] When Elton John Spot Mentored Charlie Puth
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Singer, songwriter Charlie Puth launched his stardom at age 24 with his 2015 hit “See You Again,” which garnered almost 6 billion views on YouTube.
For the next few years, Charlie collaborated on many songs and produced two albums, including the smash single “One Call Away” with Selena Gomez. But in early 2020, Charlie was struggling with his music. Eventually, he decided to scrap his work on a much-anticipated third album, announcing to his fans, “none of the music feels real.” Around this time, Charlie was dining at a restaurant in West Hollywood when the restaurant’s maître d’ approached him. He said, “Elton John would like to meet you.” (Through a friend, Elton had heard an early version of Charlie’s third album.) Elton told Charlie, “That music you just put out is not very good.” Charlie was a bit taken aback – as he recalls, “it stung for two minutes.” But not because he disagreed with Elton but because Elton said precisely what Charlie was thinking right before that meal – he confirmed Charlie’s decision. And that’s how Elton spot-mentored Charlie. Spot Mentoring is sharing in a moment a hard-won perspective with the hope of making a difference. Three requirements for Spot Mentoring to work: Unlike mentoring relationships, Spot Mentoring doesn’t demand a bedrock of trust, goals, and structure. Instead, it starts with an observation, often by a stranger, someone who is an authority, an expert, or a leader in a particular area. Fueled by generosity, they want to contribute their insights to make an impact. And while typically unsolicited, Spot Mentoring is not about judging, criticizing, or offering advice. Instead, it’s about intentionally validating someone’s experience or revealing an opportunity. Charlie didn’t seek guidance from Elton – they hadn’t even met yet! And Elton didn’t attack, reprimand, or berate – he didn’t even offer Charlie any advice. Rather, the iconic crooner took the initiative to leverage his wisdom gained from decades in the music industry and nudge a floundering musician. When you see an opportunity to do some good with your experiences or expertise, dare to engage. Mentoring makes us better human beings through relationships. Spot Mentoring works on our humanity in moments. © 2022. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] When We Cheered for the Farmer and the Calf
| A few years ago, I learned the art of cheering when I crossed paths with a pregnant cow and an anxious farmer.
On a scenic drive through Point Reyes National Park in California, I passed a farm and spotted a cow lying on its side, starting to give birth. Overjoyed at the serendipity, I pulled over and stood at the fence to watch. But nothing happened – the mother was in distress. Being the only witness, I drove to the farmhouse to alert the farmer. Concerned but prepared, he followed me with the necessary equipment. We returned to a crowd that had gathered, cars parked up and down the street. With his tools, the farmer helped the cow deliver her baby. But the calf wasn’t moving – and neither was the crowd. We were aghast. The farmer looked over at all of us standing behind the fence. Anxiety swept over his face – as he couldn’t let this calf die in front of all these people! So, he started pushing on the calf’s chest, hoping to bring air and life into the newborn. But nothing happened. The crowd was chillingly quiet as we held our collective breath, willing the calf to breathe. No one moved. Feeling a certain kinship with the farmer, I started cheering, “Keep going!” I clapped to encourage him, and the crowd quickly joined me. We were uproariously whooping, hollering, and cheering for the farmer and the calf. With each effort the farmer made, we clapped and clamored, “Keep going!” and “Come on!” After what felt like an eternity, the calf lifted its head, coughed, and jumped up. He was alive! The crowd went crazy, screaming with joy and applauding in celebration! The farmer walked over to the fence as we watched the mother start feeding her baby. He said to me, “Thank you. There were many moments when I felt like giving up and declaring the calf dead, but then I heard all of you cheering. It kept me going – I didn’t want to stop.” We couldn’t rescue the farmer. We couldn’t help him or fix the situation. Heck, we couldn’t even give him any advice. All we could do was cheer. But the cheering was the catalyst. As mentors and leaders, sometimes people just need us to stand at the fence and cheer. © 2022. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] The Why Before the Who
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While there are many ways to engage in mentoring, there are two distinct constructs for mentoring programs: self-directed and managed.
In self-directed mentoring programs, people show up with a purpose: a goal. They then use the search & connect tools to find a mentor who can contribute to that goal. The goal ignites the search for a mentor. Conversely, in managed programs, the emphasis is on recruiting and matching participants. And the notion of a “goal” is relegated to an agenda item at the program kickoff. The match prompts the need to find a goal. Unfortunately, this “find some goal!” approach leaves many mentees cringing at the thought of “another thing to do.” They often disregard or dismiss their mentors if they can’t think of one, claiming, “I’m too busy!” Without a goal, mentees often flounder, confused about how or why to engage. But when a mentee is fueled by a compelling purpose, they become determined to find a mentor to obtain the advice they need, thus prioritizing the relationship with unfettered resolution. Whether in a self-directed or managed program, prioritize your goal before a match. Identify your “why” before your “who.” Wait! What if the word “goal” feels daunting or brazen? What if it’s confronting to create a plan for the future when you can’t even see around the corner? Pick a “mentoring focus” instead. What is a mentoring focus? An area of your life where you urgently need a thought partner, a champion, an advocate, a trusted advisor, a guide, or a confidante. For example,
Sure, big, hairy, audacious goals are borne out of aspirations for a better horizon. But we only get there with a multitude of small steps. And those steps require a focus – your why for embracing a mentor. When you have a captivating cause, a mentor becomes the gateway to your future! © 2022. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Thanksgiving Conversation Starters
| As we embark on the annual ritual of gathering to eat with friends, family, and sometimes strangers, we are faced with the impending need to make conversation.
Whether we want to merely be polite and entertaining or intentionally curious and committed to connecting, it’s all about the questions we ask. To prepare conversation-starter questions, pay attention to talk show hosts and podcast interviewers. Take, for example, Ryan Seacrest, co-host of the television show Live with Kelly and Ryan, and Willie Geist, host of the weekly podcast Sunday Sitdown. Ryan engages light-heartedly in entertaining, surface-level banter. Whereas Willie immerses himself in his guest’s world, determined to discover and appreciate that person’s journey and the insights they have gleaned from life. Some example questions pulled directly from their recent interviews: Ryan Questions
Willie Questions
Regardless of the conversations that you create this holiday, guests will be grateful for your effort to engage and your interest in their lives. And who knows… you might feel more connected, learn something new, turn strangers into friends, and savor the celebration. Happy Thanksgiving! © 2022. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
[Flash] Mentoring on a Four Agreements Foundation
| I recently re-read The Four Agreements and loved it all over again.
According to the author Don Miguel Ruiz, everything we do is based on agreements we’ve made with ourselves and with others. When those agreements are fear-based, they fuel self-limitations, diminish self-worth, and inflame needless suffering. He argues that to free ourselves from fear, we must re-negotiate these agreements and adopt new ones. His 4 agreements for less stress and more joy:
And what better construct to practice these life edicts than the safe environment of a mentoring relationship? Here’s how to strengthen our mentoring experiences with the four agreements: 1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.
With four simple yet profound agreements, we can free ourselves from the sabotage that undermines our mentoring and threatens our joy in life. © 2022. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |