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[Flash] When Jane Mentored Meryl Who Mentored Jane

In a Vanity Fair article reflecting on her career in Hollywood, Jane Fonda mused, “I didn’t see myself as a mentor.”

But Meryl Streep did.

Meryl met Jane in 1976 while filming the movie Julia, Meryl’s film debut. It was her first day ever on a movie set, and Meryl felt lost. Noticing this, Jane whispered to her, “Look down… over there, that green tape on the floor, that’s you. That’s your mark. And if you land on it, you will be in the light, and you will be in the movie.”

While paying tribute to Jane Fonda at the AFI Lifetime Achievement Award ceremony, Meryl thanked Jane for her inexhaustible guidance and for “opening more doors than I probably even know about.”

She then thanked Jane on behalf of all the young actors Meryl subsequently worked with because Meryl mentored them with Jane’s lessons and kindness.

Interestingly, Jane Fonda recalls the experience of working with Meryl Streep a bit differently.

“I was close to Bette Davis. I was close to Barbara Stanwyck and Katharine Hepburn. So why didn’t I ask them endless questions when I was new in the business? Like, ‘What do you do when you’re nervous? How do you overcome fear?’ And I didn’t! Do you know the only person who has ever asked me those kinds of questions? Meryl Streep!”

As author Annie Murphy Paul reported in her book The Extended Mind, “research consistently shows that engaging students in tutoring their peers has benefits for all involved, especially for the ones doing the teaching.”

…especially for the ones doing the teaching (the mentors!).

But how? Annie Murphy Paul continues, “Teaching is a deeply social act, one that initiates a set of powerful cognitive, attentional, and motivational processes that have the effect of changing the way the teacher thinks.”

…changing the way the teacher (the mentor!) thinks.

In other words, Jane’s mentoring Meryl ultimately shifted Jane’s thinking, not just Meryl’s.

Marvelously, mentoring has a boomerang effect. When you mentor others, you invariably get mentored in the process.

So the next time you have the opportunity to participate in a mentoring relationship… less hesitation, more assimilation!

[Flash] 5 Questions to Seize Our 4,000 Weeks

Recently I read Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman.

Being a mortal, I was eager to discover ground-breaking time management strategies. Instead, I encountered an earnest yet jolting discourse asserting that life is mockingly short.

According to Burkeman, the average life span is 77 years, granting us 4,000 weeks on this planet.

And rather than teach us how to cram more into a day, he boldly implores us to embrace our finiteness.

To make the most of our limited time, he asks 5 key questions (each of which could elevate and captivate your next mentoring conversation)…

1. Where in your life or your work are you currently pursuing comfort when what’s called for is a little discomfort?

I love being comfortable… physically, emotionally, and mentally. But all the bragging rights I’ve earned in my life have come from getting uncomfortable.

2. Are you holding yourself to, and judging yourself by, standards of productivity or performance that are impossible to meet?

I used to compare myself to my peers, but now I’m setting the bar on a Navy-SEAL-turned-motivational-speaker who tackles 25 projects before 4:00 am. I’m done waking up already behind.

3. In what ways have you yet to accept the fact that you are who you are, not the person you think you ought to be?

This one is challenging. I define my life by my commitment to improve, learn, and grow continuously. Can I do that without the self-flagellation?

4. In which areas of life are you still holding back until you feel like you know what you’re doing?

When I resist, I’ve noticed that I reference my experiences or lack thereof. But when I’m feeling brazen, I ignore them. All my best stories start with, “Yes, and I’ll figure it out later!”

5. How would you spend your life differently if you didn’t care so much about seeing your actions reach fruition?

I admit I don’t have many hobbies, nor do I play enough games. I constantly feel the need to justify my activities – if it’s not purposeful, then it must be unproductive. It’s time for more joy for the sake of joy!

Burkeman aptly started and ended his book with, “The average human life span is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short.”

So… what shall we do with our precious weeks?

[Flash] Streaking (With Your Clothes On)

In the 1970s, an odd trend emerged on college campuses called “streaking,” where people ran naked through public areas to shock and amuse others.

Then in 2011, the messaging app Snapchat repurposed the term “streak” to gamify the act of exchanging messages multiple days in a row. Snapchat refers to this uninterrupted chain as a “Snapstreak.” The app tracks these streaks and encourages users to continue their daily exchanges.

And now there is a new kind of streaking: Goal Streaking – a continuous series of one activity in pursuit of a goal.

Goal Steaking examples:

exercise-daily streak
recognize-someone-weekly-for-their-work streak
make-a-new-connection streak
make-the-bed streak
team-huddle streak
arrive-early-to-meetings-to-connect-and-banter streak
return-emails-in-24-hours streak
monthly-mentoring-conversations streak

Personally, I have two unbroken streaks that continue to shape my life:

(1) My Flossing Streak
In 2005, I had a dentist crush on Dr. Michael Hing when I lived in San Francisco. His warm, gentle personality prevented me from lying to him about flossing my teeth (like I had to other dentists!) So, I challenged myself to floss every night for one month before my next appointment. This evolved into my now 6,205-day flossing streak and has positively contributed to my dental health.

(2) My Writing Streak
I started my writing streak in March 2015 to hone my skills and consistently connect with my circle. The weekly Flash! article was born. I credit my now 364-week streak with expanding my network, strengthening our mentoring programs with weekly content, and generating my latest book (In a Flash!) and my next one: Jolt of Flash! (available Q4 2022).

Recently, I discovered two apps designed to support any of our habit-creating, goal-driving streaks:

streaksapp.com
goalstreaks.com

Like Snapchat and our Mentors, each app prompts, chronicles, and celebrates our commitment to any activity.

From the goalstreaks site: “The best way to achieve your goals is by taking regular, meaningful steps towards them.”

With fierce intentionality and relentless commitment, we can shift or create any habit, opening the gateway to our goals.

What streak will you start?

[Flash] Growing Up in a House of Hope

My mom’s typical response to any suggestion or idea is, “Maybe. We’ll see.”

This retort was maddening to us as kids. We wanted clarity, conviction, and action – we wanted an instant “Yes!” Instead, we got hesitation, ambiguity, and uncertainty.

But my mom’s “Maybe. We’ll see” bought her time to consider, assess, and reflect.

Unbeknownst to us, it did something else… it fueled our hope. We proceeded with the hope that maybe just maybe, she would say “Yes!” to our request or idea.

I didn’t realize how much I fed on that hope until I met a friend who doesn’t consider or explore ideas. This Debbie Downer consistently leads with an automatic “No” coupled with an excuse.

Her deflating “No” makes me crave my mom’s “Maybe. We’ll see.” Because “We’ll see” kindles hope – there was always a possibility that my mom would say, “Yes!”

In a recent study published by social scientist Shane Lopez Ph.D., hope drives 14 percent of the productivity in the workplace – more than intelligence, optimism, or self-efficacy.

Based upon this research, Dr. Lopez identified five characteristics that make hopeful employees more productive.

Hopeful people:

show up for work
are more engaged
are more creative
are more resilient during adversity and change
are happy

He then offered three basic steps for cultivating hope:

Futurecast: envision a specific future goal
Create pathways toward that goal
Plan for contingencies and seek multiple solutions

And that’s how my mom cultivated hope! She met our goals with “Maybe. We’ll see,” keeping the pathway to those goals open while forcing us to develop a contingency plan.

“Maybe. We’ll see” may have exasperated us at times, but I’m grateful for growing up in a house of hope. It prepared us to be hope builders.

[Flash] My Gramps Was Santa Claus

My grandfather was 38 years sober when he died. He entered Alcoholics Anonymous at age 50, committed to pivoting his life.

I think of Gramps fondly at this time of year because he looked like Santa Claus: thick white hair, big round protruding belly, bulbous red nose, and a hearty laugh.

I don’t pretend to know what he was like before he was sober, but I am inspired by who he became after:

He dressed up as Santa Claus every year for the local photoshop and town parade.
He served as a crossing guard at the grade school in his neighborhood.
He graduated from college at age 65 with a degree in counseling.
He sponsored others in AA.
He pedaled his first century bike ride at age 70.
He told jokes to anyone who would listen and laugh.

And in his wallet, he carried his Alcoholics Anonymous coin with the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Lately, I’ve noticed that I’ve been operating with a shortage of serenity. So now, reflecting on how Gramps lived and evolved, I’m rewriting my Christmas list…

All I want for Christmas is:

1. Clarity.
Clarity around the changes I want to make.

2. Intentionality.
Purposeful conversations and activities.

3. Courage.
Courage to be bold and perseverant.

4. Patience.
Patience for the evolving journey that I am on.

5. Kindness.
Kindness and understanding for the journey that others are on.

6. Pause.
Deliberate pause in the moments that I fail at patience and kindness.

7. Wisdom.
Wisdom from intentionally curating insights.

Hope you get everything on your list!
Happy Holidays!

[Flash] UPS Driver’s Five Decades of Wisdom

Tom Camp started driving a UPS truck in 1962. Today he holds the safest driving recording in UPS history:

59 years
1+ million miles
5+ million deliveries
0 accidents

Tom graciously attributes his safety record to UPS’s excellent training program and accountability. But we must also credit Tom’s common sense and his job love.

When The New York Times asked about his achievement, Tom offered the following tips for success behind the wheel. We can easily apply his wisdom for our own triumph in life.

1. Scan the big picture. Keep your eyes moving.
We often fixate on details and miss context. Being aware of the changing landscape can allow us to make better decisions.

2. When the light turns green, count 1-2-3 before moving.
If we pause to count in any situation, we can take action deliberately, not emotionally.

3. Check the mirrors.
We all have blind spots, and moving forward without looking for them limits our potential.

4. Let erratic drivers pass.
We can’t change people, but we can protect ourselves.

5. Keep your mind focused.
It’s dangerous to drive on the road or go through life while staring at a screen. Being present gives us the power to choose our next steps purposefully.

6. If there’s rain, snow, or sleet, slow down.
We cannot control some changes; we must adapt, adjust, and persevere accordingly.

7. Assume the other guy is daydreaming.
Other people do not perceive the world as we do and assuming they do fuels miscommunications, conflict, and altercations.

8. Use your turn signal.
When we communicate our intentions and expectations, we engender trust and strengthen relationships.

Tom doesn’t just have a safe driving record. He has job love: pride, purpose, and passion from executing his job in a way that makes a difference.

Safe driving, job love, and wisdom… three things that would benefit us all!

[Flash] Nobody Knows Anything… Including Your Mentor

I just finished listening to That’ll Never Work: The Birth of Netflix and the Amazing Life of an Idea by Netflix’s co-founder, Marc Randolph.

In his compelling memoir, Marc referenced screenwriter William Goldman (All The President’s Men; The Princess Bride), who described Hollywood in three words: Nobody knows anything. Goldman explained that nobody can truly predict how a movie will do until after it’s released, regardless of the budget, or the caliber of the script, the director, or the actors involved.

Marc applied this same theory to describe Silicon Valley: nobody knows which concepts will succeed until one does.

When he originated the idea of renting DVDs over the internet in 1997, many people (including his wife) said, “That’ll never work.”

But their prophetic declarations were simply assumptions based on their knowledge and experiences.

At the time, Blockbuster was a $6 billion business, and internet consumption was relatively new. So, of course, it was hard to imagine using the internet to rent a movie instead of driving down the block to a video store.

And in 1999, when Netflix decided to evolve to a subscription model with no late fees, people said, “That’ll never work.” Because at the time, subscriptions were for magazines, not movie rentals, and charging late fees ensured movies were returned!

Nobody knows what will eventually happen, including mentors. Instead, people merely reference their past experiences to inform their future predictions. And then they forecast and pontificate about what will and won’t work. For example, in 1995, astronomer Clifford Stoll brazenly declared in Newsweek magazine that the internet would be a passing fad. (Good thing Marc didn’t heed Clifford’s warning!)

Growth happens in action, not speculation.

Incidentally, mentors don’t want to be your fortune teller. They signed up to be part of your journey. That’s the only way they’ll grow too.

So, invite their opinions, advice, perspectives, and ideas. But then explore those as you move, don’t adopt them while you’re standing still. Think critically. Consider context. Take a chance. Evolve as you discover, as Netflix continues to do.

At the end of the book, Marc concluded, “You’ll learn more in one hour of doing something than in a lifetime of thinking about it.”

Welcome wisdom but apply it mindfully and actively.

[Flash] When Colin Jost Spot Mentored Michael Che onto SNL

On a recent episode of Sunday Sitdown, Willie Geist interviewed Michael Che about his journey to the cast of Saturday Night Live.

Michael Che was a standup comic in NYC when he met Colin Jost, a comedian and sketch writer for SNL.

Michael was performing a comedy set in Brooklyn when Colin casually approached him, “You ever want to write sketches?”

Michael described his response as follows, “I blew him off. I don’t know how to write sketches! I’m not going to audition and send in a packet. If they don’t like it, then I have to go through life knowing that I suck. So, I just blew him off. But Colin kept messaging me urging me to come in.”

Then Colin shared with Michael an opportunity at SNL for comedians to be guest writers for two weeks. Finally, Michael responded.

He said, “I ended up getting a sketch on TV. SNL let me finish the season, and I’ve been with them ever since.” Today Michael is co-head writer and co-anchor on SNL’s Weekend Update.

Michael was a bit self-deprecating about his imposter syndrome throughout this interview. But my favorite insight occurred when Michael reflected, “SNL is a dream job that I did not know that I could possibly do.”

He did not know that he could possibly do it. And, left to his mind chatter, he wouldn’t have.

Fortunately, he had a Spot Mentor who stopped him from missing the opportunity: Colin Jost.

Spot Mentors show up when we are about to overlook or neglect a moment.

By definition, spotters are trained to look for something. Typically found at a fitness studio or a construction site, spotters ensure someone’s safety and provide situational awareness.

Spot Mentors offer us similar protection from and awareness of our blind spots and missed opportunities. Their objective is not to prevent us from falling or failing. Rather they are determined to hinder our heedlessness. They see what we can’t or won’t. And by connecting our potential with possibilities, they practically dare us to get out of our own way.

Weightlifters and equipment operators don’t operate without a spotter. So, why would we traverse any path without seeking a Spot Mentor? And while we’re at it, serving as a Spot Mentor does wonders for the soul and society.

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