All Posts by Ann Tardy

Unequivocally, the events across the country this past week are demanding, even begging for, a pivot.

But after the outrage and the protests, what can we do individually and locally to engender a more diverse and inclusive society and workplace? Start mentoring.

“Ultimately this issue won’t just be resolved through laws and policies, but also at the human-to-human connection level,” Dana Brownlee, author of “Here are 10 Actions You Can Take to Promote Racial Justice in the Workplace.”

Brownlee continues, “Fear is often the root of bigotry, and one of the best antidotes for erasing fear is knowledge and familiarity.”

Frank Dobbin and his peers argue in the Harvard Business Review article entitled, “Diversity Management in Corporate America,” “It’s difficult to train away stereotypes. But mentoring programs offer a welcomed opportunity to engage in the solution instead of stare at the problem.”

Another HBR article entitled “Everyone Who Makes It Has a Mentor” asserts that mentors serve as the social connections that are critical to success at work and in life.

Here’s how the magic of mentoring instills diversity and inclusion:

1. Intentionally place diverse employees in direct contact with people who are connected, who can help them move up, who can offer advice, and who can open doors.
2. Through the experience of getting to know these diverse employees in a more intimate way and cultivating connections with and for them, “people who are connected” typically divest their stereotypes organically.

This creates a more diverse and inclusive culture created by the people instead of merely forced upon the people.

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” ~ James Baldwin, novelist and playwright.

When I need to build trust with mentees, I don’t brag about my achievements. I start with an embarrassing story: I was on stage to keynote a conference when I discovered that my shirt was inside out, and then my pants ripped… in the seat! We laugh and connect, and my mentees immediately feel safe.

And now all my cringe-worthy-story-sharing is backed by research!

A study done by the Kellogg School of Management shows that embarrassment can actually be a gateway to connection, creativity, and collaboration.

Participants in the study who shared embarrassing moments before a brainstorming session generated a larger number (26% more!) and a wider range (15% more categories!) of ideas than those who shared proud moments.

Proud-moment sharing is typically used to boost participant confidence at the beginning of meetings. Inadvertently, this approach causes people to edit their contributions later. Why? Because the resulting air of achievement ultimately suffocates those anything-less-than-brilliant ideas.

But when participants reveal an embarrassing anecdote, they shed their barrier of self-censorship, allowing community and creativity to thrive!

How?

• Embarrassment at the start alleviates the fear of embarrassment later
• Human stories are captivating, immediately engaging people in the meeting
• Identifying similar experiences helps people feel connected
• Being vulnerable increases communal empathy and trust
• Admitting blunders makes it safe for all to blunder while ideating and brainstorming
• Reflecting on our survival-from-embarrassing-moments reinforces our own resilience

If your Zoom/Teams/WebEx calls are getting a bit stale, experiment with an embarrassing-story swap to accelerate the connection, creativity, and collaboration!

As the late filmmaker Nora Ephron (When Harry Met Sally) often said, “Everything is copy.”

The students’ reaction: irritation from working on challenging (and seemingly irrelevant) problems.
Their meaningful response: perseverance in search of a solution.

Similarly, it’s not about the pandemic or the quarantine (or even about toilet paper!). It’s about persevering in the face of unpredictability. It’s about finding ways to triumph with limited resources.

Our (understandable) reactions: frustration, fear, and anger in a world that feels out of our control.

David Kessler, author of Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, recently reflected on the pandemic, “We are feeling a collective loss of the world we all lived in before.”

He continued, “We must find meaning, not in the loss, but in our response. Meaning is what we do next.”

Let’s acknowledge some things “we have done next”:

• We have learned to leverage technology.
• We have reconnected with family and friends.
• We have continued to work, exercise, and attend school from home.
• We have improvised birthday parties and celebrations.
• We have architected new structures, routines, and memories.
• We have re-evaluated our priorities and commitments.
• We have expanded our contributions at work and in the community.
• We have re-invented how we deliver products and services.(e.g. The Twisted Citrus restaurant in North Canton, Ohio mounted shower curtains between tables to innovatively create “social distance” while meeting their financial need for many diners.)

And we met what was once deemed an impossible challenge: to slow down our world.

But ultimately, it’s not about the pandemic.

It’s about our response to it: determination, resourcefulness, initiative, grit, creativity, strength, kindness, gratefulness, intentionality, and courage.

And then my colleague Melissa Crimmins, founder of BuiltHive, called me. I’m on her Advisory Board, and she was seeking a brain-exchange, a need-your-perspective call, a wisdom swap, a quick mentoring conversation.

I jumped at the chance to change the scenery (figuratively!).

Suddenly, I forgot my fatigue. I felt energized – I was making a difference! I was helping someone move forward, and ironically that helped me move forward.

The bonus? I didn’t walk away with action items or another project. I walked away with a sense of accomplishment and some insights for my own work.

Here’s why your mentoring is more important than ever before:

• Loneliness is at an all-time high
• Fear is running rampant
• Transitions, pivots, and cross-skilling are causing imposter syndrome
• Stuck is prevailing over resilience
• Being “non-essential” feels personal

People need you! They’re starved for your fresh perspectives, new ideas, sound advice, teachings, insights, and encouragement!

Easy ways to get started:

• Join the mentoring, connecting, or buddy program at your organization
• Offer to brain exchange with others
• Lead a learning circle around a topic, a book, or a skill
• Organize a roundtable to wisdom swap with peers
• Let your boss and HR know you want to mentor
• Volunteer for a community mentoring program
• Add to your email signature block: “Available to mastermind!”
• Invite LinkedIn connections to brainstorm and share ideas

I promise, you won’t be bombarded. People don’t abuse mentors; they revere them.

“Maybe mentorship is just realizing the humanity in each of us and being there as equals with one another through an uncertain time.” – Alexandar Perez, a mentee at Weill Cornell Medicine.