No ownership | Blaming | Lack of curiosity | Closed-mindedness | Silo mentality | Lack of empathy | Excuses | Victimhood | Automatic “no!” | Missed expectations | Confusing communications | Refusal to commit | Repeated mistakes | Myopic decision-making | Failure to build relationships across departments | Unproductive exchanges | Setting poor examples | Pessimism | Inability to resolve issues | Drama instigators 

And yet, I am confident that your people do not start each day eager to be mediocre or maddening.

Nonetheless, many are.

Why? Because people are always seeking:

• Safety (from judgment, criticism, blame)
• Significance (importance)
• Self-Rule (autonomy)

And while appeasing this ego trifecta, they get stonewalled by Chaos, Change, and Crisis.

Feeling unsafe, insignificant, and other-ruled, they resort to aggravating antics in a desperate attempt to return to Safety, Significance, and Self-rule. It becomes a soul-sucking experience for everyone on the team!

Sadly, many people who were once enthusiastic about making a difference become stuck in the valley of despair, counting days until weekends, months until vacations, and years until retirement.

(The plot twist… while you’re managing around their frustrating behaviors, you are fighting for your own Safety, Significance, and Self-Rule. And so is your boss!)

Eventually, when people quit their job to look for Safety, Significance, and Self-Rule in greener pastures, you might feel a sense of relief, distress, or even failure.

But you don’t have a behavioral problem or an attrition problem. You have an evolution problem!

These people are not evolving. They aren’t growing, improving, preparing for, or thriving through change.

If these people were evolving, they wouldn’t:

• frantically protect their ego
• recklessly prove their importance
• childishly demand freedom without taking any responsibility for it

If you want to disrupt the disruption of people’s behaviors, stop focusing on their aggravating antics, and start focusing on their essential evolution.

Build Better Bosses Intensive
This is why I developed the Build Better Bosses Intensive: to help managers evolve and achieve a level of performance that completely transforms the results they are creating because of it.

What that means is that, with managers who want to flourish, they will experience more success, more often, more easily.

When you’re ready to uplevel yourself or your team, find a time on my calendar. Let’s have a conversation and start an evolution: http://www.scheduleyou.in/5WmLJby5B

© 2021. Ann Tardy and Mentor Lead. www.mentorlead.com | www.anntardy.com

“I like to stay as focused and committed as possible. My job is to do whatever I can to show up and contribute something meaningful to the actors, the studio, and the crew. Also, it’s my job to be a pleasure to work with. To not be a pain in the [butt]. To be generous and kind to all involved. That to me is as important as the other stuff.”

In other words, he strives to be a decent human being who plays well with others.

When I helped a Chief People Officer identify her company’s key leadership attributes recently, our final list was strikingly similar to Jared Leto’s approach!

The CPO and her team interviewed executives, directors, and employees to curate an inventory of ideal characteristics, actions, behaviors, and expectations for anyone who endeavors to call themselves a leader in the organization.

The list was extensive, but a few essential themes surfaced:

• commitment to solving problems
• communication that contributes
• growth-mindset
• big-picture decision making
• decency

No one submitted the word “decency” specifically. They proposed qualities like honesty, integrity, goodness, dignity, grace, empathy, compassion, kindness, patience, civility, and positivity.

But we ultimately chose “decency” because of its all-encompassing reminder of our humanity.

Some executives lobbied for the word “collaboration,” but I pushed back on that overused business buzzword. It’s impossible to collaborate if we’re not first committed to solving problems, communicating to contribute, growing and learning, being decisive, and demonstrating decency.

Does “decency” feel too soft? Let’s strengthen it with a few statistics:

• 50% of people quit their jobs because of their less-than-decent boss
• 67% of people would take a new boss over a pay raise
• 82% of people who quit leave for a more empathetic organization

Decency counts…at work, at home, and in the world.

Build Better Bosses and the Circle of Excellence
Need to build better, more decent bosses on your team? Join me for a complimentary mini-workshop on Wed Feb 17, entitled “Build Better Bosses,” where I’ll share more about this approach. I’ll also introduce you to the Circle of Excellence – a mastermind and mentoring program designed to evolve your good managers into great leaders. www.mentorlead.com/webinar/build-bosses

© 2021. Ann Tardy and Mentor Lead. www.mentorlead.com | www.anntardy.com

He then identified his friend and mentor, Tom Murphy, CEO of Capital Cities Communications (which acquired ABC in 1985 and merged with Disney in 1995), as the person he admired and copied.

Buffett describes his friend of 40 years as follows, “Most of what I learned about management I learned from Murph [Tom Murphy]. I kick myself because I should have applied it much earlier.”

Today Murphy’s approach is at the core of Buffett’s management philosophy: decentralization, autonomy, rigorous cost controls.

Who do you admire and copy?

These people are influencing you, either as mentors or as role-models. You admire their success and copy their approach, style, strategies, and behaviors. You observe and replicate their actions in a quest to achieve similar success.

We all need Murphys in our life – they introduce fresh ideas and bigger pictures.

But the more important question is…

Who is admiring and copying you?

Why should you care? Because this demands that we operate and produce results that others want to emulate.

With this question, we acknowledge that we always have an opportunity to influence excellence in others with our actions.

And we concede that, because people watch us, it is reckless to operate as if our actions aren’t influential.

But the goal is not to be admired for egotistical fulfillment.

The goal is to live and work in such an efficacious way that it inevitably inspires others to do the same, especially when we hold a title.

We need Buffetts in our life – they embolden us to stand taller and strive harder.

Circle of Excellence
If you want to help your managers become admired and copied leaders, send them to the Circle of Excellence. Curious? Join me for a complimentary webinar on Wed Feb 17 entitled “Build Better Bosses,” where I’ll share strategies you can use to help your managers become bigger better bolder versions of themselves, and I’ll share with you the promise of the Circle of Excellence.

Click here for the webinar: https://mentorlead.com/webinar/build-bosses/
Click here to learn about the Circle: https://mentorlead.com/circle/

© 2021. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com | www.anntardy.com

I’ve Never Met an Insignificant Person
www.mentorlead.com/blog/flash-ive-never-met-an-insignificant-person/

Obi-Wan Kenobi is Not Coming (and Why It’s OK to Ask Someone to Be Your Mentor)
www.mentorlead.com/blog/flash-obi-wan-kenobi-is-not-coming-and-why-its-ok-to-ask-someone-to-be-your-mentor/

Start in the Bleachers (the Secret to Sharing Advice, Opinions, Ideas)
www.mentorlead.com/blog/flash-start-in-the-bleachers-secret-to-sharing-advice-opinions-ideas/

Why Won’t You Lead Already? (the CEO Who Sentenced Her Mentoring Program)
www.mentorlead.com/blog/flash-why-wont-you-lead-already-the-ceo-who-sentenced-her-mentoring-program/

Calm is Contagious (and so is Chaos, Panic, and Stupid)
www.mentorlead.com/blog/flash-calm-is-contagious-and-so-is-chaos-panic-and-stupid/

There Are No Evil Mentors
www.mentorlead.com/blog/flash-there-are-no-evil-mentors/

Is Gumption Taught, Wrought, or Caught?
www.mentorlead.com/blog/flash-is-gumption-taught-wrought-or-caught/

From FOMO to JOMO (the Gift of the Pandemic)
www.mentorlead.com/blog/flash-from-fomo-to-jomo-the-gift-of-the-pandemic/

Take What You Need. Leave the Rest (Advice on Giving Advice)
www.mentorlead.com/blog/flash-take-what-you-need-leave-the-rest-advice-on-giving-advice/

Enough with Ghosting Mentees… It’s Time for Mentor 2.0!
www.mentorlead.com/blog/flash-enough-with-ghosting-mentees-its-time-for-mentor-2-0/

And as you prepare for the new year, check out the unique offerings I’m developing for you in 2021 (more details below my signature):

• Mission-Critical Mentoring webinar (Jan 28)
• Magnet-Journey Mentoring Program Bootcamp (email me for a special invite)
• Introduction & Information Session – a peek inside the Circle (Jan 15)
• Circle of Excellence (next one launching Q1)

It is a joy to be on this journey with you! Wishing you a seminal year ahead! 

© 2020. Ann Tardy and Mentor Lead. www.mentorlead.com | www.anntardy.com

But drama only happens when we jump on the stage and pick up the script.

Before engaging and reacting, consider saying one of these phrases to yourself first:

1. Well, that’s interesting.
This is my new favorite line. I discovered it thanks to success coach David Neagle, who preaches detaching and observing.

2. I wonder why…
To avoid conflict, assume there is missing information – facts, context, backstory, agenda. This thought forces a reflective pause… “I wonder why they’re acting that way.”

3. This will make a great story. 
As a situation unfolds in chaos, smile to yourself and think, “Bad decisions always make great stories.”

4. Does this really matter?
When we are so close to a situation, it feels excessively significant. But will it be tomorrow or next week or next year?

5. This is not about me.
Instead of sorting through their emotional garbage, people regularly project it onto us instead. And naturally, it feels personal. But it’s not.

6. Does this need to be said, by me, right now?
We must love giving advice. Even when people don’t ask for it, we’re quick to dole it out. Despite our best intentions, unsolicited advice makes people feel judged and criticized. Unless they’re specifically asking for it, don’t share. (Thank you, Craig Ferguson, for this great question! Click here to read my Flash on this topic from Dec 2019.)

7. I’m editing!
I use this thought like an internal high-five – applauding my sovereignty over my emotions and reminding myself to keep responding deliberately, not reacting defensively.

We cannot control or change people. But we can always control our words and actions. And the only place to start is with our thoughts.

Here’s hoping you enjoy a drama-free, fun-filled holiday!

© 2020. Ann Tardy and Mentor Lead. www.mentorlead.com | www.anntardy.com

Desperate, we often resort to distracting our people with inspirational quotes, interactive games, and Zoom parties.

The problem is that we’re taking actions that are not getting us the results we want. We’re entertaining people yet hoping for their engagement.

But, in its essence, motivation isn’t about being inspired or entertained. It’s about having the desire to serve a goal.

How can we possibly cause people to desire to serve a goal? We don’t control their intentions and aspirations. Of course, we can certainly require, demand, compel, and force someone to serve a goal. But we’ll never control their desires.

Moreover, while we’re tasked with “motivating others,” we’re often challenged to motivate ourselves. “I can’t get motivated,” we whine.

Enough. Let’s quit motivation!

Instead of wasting time dancing and prancing for people’s attention and engagement, let’s stop “motivating” them and start earning their hearts, minds, and souls.

Former Chairman of General Foods Clarence Francis famously wrote:
“You can buy a man’s time; you can buy a man’s physical presence at a certain place; you can even buy a measured number of skilled muscular motions per hour or day. But you cannot buy enthusiasm; you cannot buy initiative; you cannot buy loyalty; you cannot buy the devotion of hearts, minds, and souls. You have to earn these things.“

How do we earn their hearts, minds, and souls? Through…

• shared purpose
• strengthened trust
• intentional communications
• established partnership
• offered opportunities to stretch and grow
• recognized progress

How do we earn our own heart, mind, and soul? By creating commitments that are stronger than our feelings and circumstances. By finding a reason to act that is greater than all the reasons not to act.

Motivation is trite. Earning hearts, minds, and souls… now that’s a powerful reason to act and a goal worth serving!

© 2020. Ann Tardy and Mentor Lead. www.mentorlead.com | www.anntardy.com