You searched for Not for me - Page 19 of 49 - MentorLead

Search Results for: Not for me

Shifting Consent to Cement

Consent is like mud. It’s unstable and easily affected by circumstances, like the weather. But cement is steadfast and impervious.

When people consent, they may agree with an “OK,” they might even smile and nod, but they do not own that commitment, because they did not create it.

When people are involved in creating a commitment, they own it. And therefore they are more likely to act consistent with that promise by following through and executing in spite of circumstances.

People cement the commitments they help to create.

We can actually facilitate their shift in commitment:

  1. Instead of summarizing everyone’s action items, have people verbalize their promised deliverables to the group.
  2. Instead of sending people a list of responsibilities, have them document their own responsibilities on a project and distribute to the group.
  3. Instead of dictating commitments, have people declare their own commitments in writing and in meetings.

Through active and public declarations, people shift their commitments from wavering consent to anchored cement. And this invariably increases their success in following through and executing, which inevitably fuels their self-respect, self-esteem, and self-confidence.

Less mud, more cement!


Notice: Trying to get property 'post_title' of non-object in /home2/anntard1/public_html/mentorlead/wp-content/themes/squared/inc/image-resize.php on line 23

Metrics or Mindfulness

Leading from the middle is challenged by a metrics vs. mindfulness conundrum.

  • The people above us measure our success on our metrics.
  • The people below us measure our success on our mindfulness.

Can we do both? Can we actually manage and lead at the same time? Can we meet the expectations of the organization while also being committed to the needs and aspirations of the people who follow us?

We have to.

  • If we only focus on our metrics, we risk losing our people.
  • If we only focus on our mindfulness, we risk losing our job.

The secret? Connect metrics and mindfulness.

Connect people to the metrics – our people should operate knowing the impact of their efforts and results, and be, not just involved, but invested in those metrics

Connect metrics to people – our metrics should reflect the impact of our efforts to guide, advise, listen, develop, and mentor our people to be successful (ex: we should measure their retention, their growth, their contributions, their involvement, and their mindfulness in leading others)   

Master this and you’ll master your role as a middle leader.

Lead with Woo-Hoos not Tsk-Tsks!

 

Our people crave woo-hoos, high-fives, fist bumps, and applause.

Instead we question them in meetings, overrule them in emails, and judge them in performance reviews.

Which is all rather unnecessary because they already question their self-worth and judge their performance on a daily basis. Is flaming their self-doubt really the best use of our role as their leader?

What they really need from us is a spotlight on their wins, a highlighter for their progress, and limelight for their successes. Our people need us to celebrate them!

What does celebration look like?

  • a shout-out: “You’re a rock star! “Great idea!” “Congratulations!”
  • a compliment: “Your report was solid.”
  • a progress marker: “I’m so impressed with how you are managing this project.”
  • an effort acknowledgement: “I love that you took a chance to improve it.”
  • a good news advancement: “The client loves it. Great work!”

And the reality is that it’s a lot more fun to lead people in celebration than it is to lead them in condemnation.

ps. Thursday January 21 is “Thank Your Mentor Day” – a perfect time to start celebrating others!

It’s Not a Team; It’s a Band

Teams win and lose together.

While it’s valiant to declare your collection of people a “team,” they aren’t. In the end, they win and lose their performance reviews, their paychecks, and their jobs as individuals.

You don’t have a team. You have a band.

Every successful band keeps the tempo, achieves harmony, and creates melodious tunes together. And at the same time, each band member can create beautiful music as a solo.

Whether it’s a rock band, an orchestra band, a jazz band, or a high school band, band members make music together, and they solo.

What’s your number one job as the band leader? Make sure their solo performance enhances the melody of the band.

Let’s stop treating these collections of people like an NFL team. And start treating them like a Grammy award-winning band.

Ignore Engagement. Obsess Over Employee Involvement

Employee engagement is like the war on terror. We’re not sure exactly what it means; we can’t exactly describe it; we don’t know what to do about it; we never really know if we are making any progress; and we will never know if we have won.

According to the Gallop Organization, only 29% of employees are engaged and 71% are disengaged. As defined by Gallop, employees are engaged when they “work with passion and feel connected to the company.”

These stats and this definition confound me. As a leader, I’m already feeling responsible for the success of people above me, below me, and beside me. Now I’m supposed to be responsible for their passion and connection to the company? In the words of the investors on the reality show Shark Tank, “I’m out.”

Every day, my focus is to lead better, execute effectively, innovate constantly, and make a difference. So I ignore “employee engagement” and I obsess over “employee involvement.” And engagement takes care of itself.

When employees are involved, they are included in decisions, they participate in improving processes, they undertake planning and strategy, and they are immersed in execution. As a result, they are committed, engrossed, and concerned.

As a leader of my own team, I don’t have a clue whether my people are engaged – and frankly I don’t give a damn.

What I do care about is that they are involved constantly. And as a result, I promise you my people are committed to the company’s success and the success of our clients; they are included in decisions; they participate in improving processes; they are engrossed in projects and program launches; and they are relentlessly concerned about responding to each other, to clients, and to program participants.

Here’s the difference:

  • With engagement, people are passionate and connected to the company.
  • With involvement, people are committed to, engrossed in, and concerned about the success of the company and its clients.
  • With engagement, managers are responsible for an employee’s feelings of passion and connection. (This is distracting and can ultimately breed entitlement and disrespect.)
  • With involvement, managers are responsible for involving employees. And employees are responsible for their own feelings.

Our job as leaders is to involve people. Their job is to stay involved. After that they can assess their own passion and connection.

What are you doing to intentionally involve people?

Even at 12 they tell me, “I have been so busy!”

“Ann! I’m so sorry I haven’t reached out. I have been so busy!”

My stepdaughter texted me these words while I was on my latest cycling adventure.

I could only laugh.

She is 12. She was on summer break. She has no job, no schoolwork, no chores, and her only obligation was going to the beach every day with her friends.

(Good thing she is so cute!)

After wondering if she was practicing to be a 40-year-old with three kids and a full-time job, I realized that she was merely parroting what she hears from people in her life.

“I have been so busy!”

Isn’t it ironic that we are never too busy for things that are important to us? The operative words being “important to us.”

We are never too busy:

* to get married
* to have kids
* to take a vacation
* to workout
* to watch every episode of The Blacklist
*
to go to the latest movie or read a page-turning book
* to go out to a nice dinner
* to update Facebook/Twitter/ Instagram
* to walk the dog
* to sleep in on summer break and then go to the beach

We make time for things that we deem a priority.

too busy2What we could say is, “I have a lot of priorities right now and that (or you) is not one of them.” or “My priorities are a bit messed up right now since I’m not making time for you.” or “I want to do that but I need to re-prioritize.”

That would be audacious, refreshingly honest, and even radically candid.

Seriously. Nobody is “so busy” … isn’t it just a matter of priorities?

Even Congress Likes to Blame Middle Managers

“There is a culture of complacency among the agency’s middle management,” said Rep. Jeffrey Miller (R-Fla.), chair of the House Veterans Affairs Committee (HVAC). “These mid-level managers are evidently willing to just wait out those of us who are trying to change things.”

Not only is that statement riddled with assumptions, it’s laden with its own complacency.

But there’s even more in this game of blame.

Many in Congress argue that the problems in the VA stem from slipshod, incompetent middle managers who are not held responsible for outcomes in their medical facilities.

And yet, the Government Accountability Office (GAO) reported a year ago that the VA routinely rewards these managers with bonuses in spite of enduring poor conditions. According to the performance pay policy, managers can earn bonuses and advancement by reducing veteran wait-times. Those who fail suffer downgrades. The GAO noted, however, that the policy neglects to specify an overarching purpose that the goals are to support.

Lazy Blaming

So now it feels merely convenient to place the blame on the shoulders of the VA middle managers. By doing so, we don’t have to answer any of these questions:

  • Why would the managers need to manipulate wait-time data at all?
  • Why did leaders award managers bonuses in spite of festering poor conditions?
  • What was the point of the performance goals and the draconian consequences?
  • Why didn’t the leaders take any action in light of the GAO 2013 report and countless veteran complaints and VA whistleblowers over the years?
  • And what could possibly be written in the government employee contract that is preventing everyone from taking different actions to fix the enduring problems?

Imagine Being a Manager at the VA

You get offered a new job. You’re excited. You’re filled with enthusiasm, hope and possibility to progress your career, make a decent salary with nice benefits, and make a difference serving the people who served our country. (I highly doubt you’re excited about taking this new job because of the opportunity to manipulate wait-time data…)

But then, instead of helping veterans, you are hit with an onslaught of red tape, office politics and inane policies, union contracts, arbitrary performance goals that threaten your salary and benefits, a lack of resources to meet those goals, deaf-eared leaders, and ignorant politicians. All of which suddenly makes it impossible for you to make a difference.

And now you’re not only feeling helpless, you’re feeling resentment. That resentment shifts you from ‘I care!’ to ‘Why should I care if you don’t?’ And now you’re so busy trying to save yourself, you have no time to save a veteran.

The policies and politics are driving your behavior. You have long forgotten your initial enthusiasm, hope, and possibility of making a difference for veterans.

WYGIWYT (what you get is what you tolerate)

As leaders, it’s easy to blame managers for being incompetent and lazy.  Just like it’s easy to blame your kids for being rude and disrespectful or your dog for not listening.

But it’s hard for leaders to accept the responsibility that you created it and you tolerate it month after month, year after year.

The bureaucracy, the manipulated wait-time data, the fraud, the waste, and the abuse… these are just manifestations of underlying, unaddressed issues. But those issues require the commitment of leaders to help their managers make a difference, not throw them under the bus in the midst of an election year.

United States Secretary of Veterans Affairs Eric Shinseki resigned under pressure last week. As a former United States Army general, he knows that failure flows up the chain of command. Too bad it skipped a few chain links on the way up.

[Flash] Why Ryan Reynolds Chooses Observation Over Evaluation

During a recent interview, actor Ryan Reynolds reflected on his evolved approach to conflicting viewpoints:

“I love working with people who have different ideas. It’s interesting to meet them with curiosity as opposed to placing a value judgment. 

“As I get older, I think I’m better at observation than evaluation – like constantly evaluating everything and everyone. 

“When I just observe, I find my stress level goes down. I find I’m a little bit less of a [jerk], personally.”

Danielle Allen, Professor of Public Policy at Harvard, also advocates for observation. She teaches her students to navigate conflict using two rules:

Rule #1. Use Names

She encourages students to address each other by name intentionally, not condescendingly.

Why is this important?

  • Feels direct and personal
  • Grabs attention – people love hearing their own name
  • Creates connection
  • Fosters respect and trust

Rule #2. Repeat Back What You Heard 

No one in Professor Allen’s class is allowed to respond until they can demonstrate they correctly understood the other person’s argument.

By repeating back what they think they’ve heard, both sides are forced to invest time upfront reaching a mutual understanding. 

Why is this important?

  • De-escalates tension: heard people hear others
  • Validates: “I listened, I heard you, and I understand you.”
  • Ensures they are accurately addressing the other person’s issue 

Every day, we have an abundance of opportunities to practice these skills.

For example, a mentee may share a concern that the mentor feels is overblown. Because we naturally meet different viewpoints with judgment rather than curiosity, the (well-intentioned) mentor might instinctively say, “Oh don’t worry about that – it’s nothing!”

And even in the safe space of mentoring, the mentee might impulsively defend their fear, while judging the mentor for being dismissive and oblivious.

To practice observing, not evaluating:

  1.   Listen to their concern, idea, or perspective
  2.   Stay curious (give your judge a break!)
  3.   Use their name
  4.   Repeat back what you heard
  5.   Check your understanding:

 

  • “Sally, I want to make sure I understand your point. Are you saying…?” 
  • “Bob, can you explain what you mean by…” 
  • “Aneek, I hear that you’re worried about X… is that right?” 
  • “Marge, so what you’re saying is…?” 
  • “Terry, what am I missing?”

In a world where the risk of altercation simmers beneath each interaction, we can diffuse everyone’s emotions with observation, curiosity, and commitment.

Seek compassion, not condemnation. 

 

© 2024 MentorLead. All Rights Reserved.

1 17 18 19 20 21 49