Category Archives for "Blog"

• 60 years ago we didn’t own a personal computer
• 27 years ago we didn’t have access to the Internet
• 14 years ago we didn’t have a Facebook or LinkedIn account
• 11 years ago we were not addicted to our smartphones

Constantly connected by screens at home and at work, no wonder it feels like we never have time.

Until a holiday comes along. And suddenly we hit the pause button on all that seems to seize our time and attention.

Whether it’s a national or religious holiday, a vacation, or simply a weekend, here’s why we should be pushing the pause button more often:

1. Improved Body and Mind: Studies show a break improves our sleep, our mood, and our blood pressure.

2. Ruminating Respite: A break allows us to step back and assess with a fresh perspective that which we had been anxiously brooding. And research shows that upon returning to work, our respite from ruminating lasts up to two weeks!

3. Creativity Shift: Because we stop ruminating, studies confirm that when we return to work, our thinking becomes more flexible, collaborative, and innovative.

4. Recharge: Athletes schedule recovery breaks in their training to maintain top performance. Similarly we need recovery breaks from work in order to perform at our best.

5. Increased Positivity: Research reveals that taking a break provides us with a boost of enthusiasm, excitement, and positivity in anticipation of the break and upon return.

So embrace the pause this holiday offers: an opportunity to restore the body, ruminate less, think differently, recharge, and return with refreshed energy to create whatever is next!

Happy Pause Button!

Shoshin is a concept in Zen Buddhism that means “beginner’s mind.”

Like children, beginners are open to new learning and discovering. But as we collect experiences and knowledge in a subject, a job, or in life, we tend to ignore new information.

Eventually we listen for information that confirms and validates what we already know and believe.

Unfortunately when we approach situations hauling our preconceptions, assumptions, and biases, our perspective becomes clouded, like smudged eyeglasses.  We aren’t open and eager, like beginners. We are dogmatic and opinionated, like experts.

Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki remarked, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.”

This impenetrable approach blocks our ability to learn anything new…

unless we intentionally bring our Shoshin.

Marc Benioff, Founder and CEO of Salesforce, recently shared in the New York Times, “Having a beginner’s mind informs my management style.  I’m trying to listen deeply, and the beginner’s mind is informing me to step back, so that I can create what wants to be not what was. I know that the future does not equal the past.

I know I have to be here in the moment.” So how can we bring our Shoshin?

1. Lead with questions, not advice.
2. Respond, “Interesting. Tell me more.”
3. Observe and listen.
4. Be curious… I wonder what makes her say that? I wonder what I’m missing.
5. Look for blindspots… we all have them.
6. Imagine the situation from the other person’s perspective.
7. Stop being right.In a world of bossy close-mindedness, we could use a bit more childlike openness.

Admittedly Warren Buffett was petrified of public speaking. After taking a Dale Carnegie course in 1952, he taught an investment class at a local college to overcome his fears and sharpen this important skill.

Today the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway asserts, “Effective public speaking instantly raises a person’s value by 50%.”

Every day we are on various stages speaking publicly:

• Leading a meeting
• Contributing to a conversation
• Delivering a webinar or a workshop
• Reporting results to the boss
• Participating in a conference call
• Mentoring, teaching, coaching

Here are 7 tips to be more effective on any of these stages:

1. Process in Your Head: Pause, breathe, sort through your thoughts before opening your mouth. Determine what information most contributes to your current audience.
2. Get to the Verb: Don’t lead with the backstory. Lead with the action. Then, if your audience is engaged, add some adjectives.
3. Start with Bullets: Whether speaking or emailing, you need to demonstrate that you can synthesize information into the important points. The conversation doesn’t end with bullets; it’s just a compelling place to start.
4. Involve your Audience: People support conversations they help create. Use questions to involve people in creating the conversation, ex: “Which bullet would you like to know more about?”
5. Use Metaphors and Stories: People process in pictures, so draw pictures with your words using metaphors and stories for quick comprehension and ultimate retention. (“Speaking in bullets” is a metaphor.)
6. Listen to their Listening: Pay attention to the audience’s engagement… are they involved? are they distracted or confused? do you need to speed up, slow down, or ask a question?
7. Practice Constantly: Every stage, from the phone to the podium, is an opportunity to practice.

When we improve our public speaking, our confidence magnifies, our audiences’ confidence in us elevates, and our value inevitably and instantly expands.

I have a confession… I’ve been kissing a lot of worms lately.

Figuratively, not literally.

I keep getting in the weeds on projects – I’m so far in that I’m kissing worms. For example, Cindy on my team took the initiative to set up a follow-up meeting with a client. I insisted on participating and then I monopolized the conversation. I didn’t need to. She is the consummate client engagement specialist.

So why am I suddenly micromanaging?  Well if I’m honest, I’ve been traveling a lot, the team is growing, and I’m feeling disconnected and less relevant.

Insecurity is at the root of all worm-kissing:

• We don’t know people’s skills or experiences.
• We’re confounded by the importance of the situation or task.
• We feel left out of the loop and therefore vulnerable.
• And sometimes we’re avoiding other aspects of our job where we feel less proficient.

As managers, we’re masterful at kissing worms – managing the heck out of projects made us successful in the first place! But the problem with kissing worms:

• Our distrust bruises morale (and breeds distrust).
• We solve problems for people, which hampers their growth.
• We aren’t teaching, coaching, training, or developing.
• We become overwhelmed – with our work and theirs.
• We can’t take on new projects or strategize about the big picture.

Granted, some situations warrant our increased involvement, but we can view the weeds without diving into them:

• Agree on a schedule for receiving updates
• Discover people’s skills and experiences
• Share context and content
• Ensure people have what they need to be successful
• Encourage questions and ideas
• Allow people to fail and learn

To be a better boss, we must delegate to develop, grow, and recognize people.  In other words… kiss people, not worms (figuratively, not literally).

ps. If you are burdened by a boss who loves to kiss worms, just commit to over-communicating.

Golden State Warriors are in the NBA Finals… again! And Coach Steve Kerr’s strategically choreographed halftime routine undoubtedly contributes to that success.

“Clip that!” Throughout the first half of every game, Warriors coaches call out, “Clip that!” to identify a great play by the Warriors to be edited from video footage.

Replay the Highlights
Then in the locker room at halftime, Coach Kerr replays 8-10 video clips to highlight the Warriors’ defensive moves, strategic offensive plays, and dexterity in moving the ball down the court.

Labeling
Coach Kerr is leveraging a behavioral influence called “Labeling” – people tend to mold their actions based on a label they are given. People then reinforce the label when they adopt the characteristics (the actions!) of that label.

By replaying the highlights of his team’s champion moves, Coach Kerr labels them “champions,” which then influences them to play like champions in the second half.

And it works. The Warriors are notorious for dominating the second half of every game, regardless of how they played in the first half.

We too can “Clip that!” to label our people “champions”…

1. Celebrate wins Real estate manager Gailene posts gold stars on her office door with each week’s listings and sales along with the responsible agents’ headshots.

2. Circulate success stories Jose shares people’s success stories in meetings and in monthly internal newsletters.

3. Request and share client feedback After each project, Shanya asks clients for a testimonial about her people to showcase the difference they made. 

4. Capture and applaud people’s ideas, insights, and innovations Raj keeps a journal so he can spotlight people’s contributions during 1:1s and in his handwritten notes to them.

5. End each meeting with a recap of the highlights Invite everyone to call “Clip it!” throughout the meeting!

By labeling people great today, we can influence them to be great again tomorrow.

According to research:

• 65% of employees want more feedback from their boss
• 72% believe their performance would improve if their boss offered more feedback

And yet feedback continues to be hijacked.

Why? Because, in spite of its enormous value, it can be confronting. Ultimately feedback reveals us to ourselves.

Consequently, people avoid asking for it, while bosses avoid giving it.

Why the antics? Because people assume all feedback is negative (even when it’s cleverly labeled “constructive”). And negative feedback feels critical and judgmental.

So what? Get thicker skin, right? Well, here’s the psychological skinny on criticism… the brain processes criticism as a threat to our survival. More specifically, when we are criticized, we cognitively feel the threat of being excluded from a group… even when the feedback is completely accurate.

So how can we offer the feedback that people want and need in order to grow, without triggering their fears of being excluded or ostracized?

Be a mirror.

A mirror offers a reflection. It allows people to see what they cannot see on their own: their face, their teeth, their hair, their outfit. All without the mirror’s judgment or criticism (unless you’re Snow White, of course).

As a boss, we can similarly help people see what they cannot see. We can offer a reflection of their actions, efforts, and behaviors that they might not be able to (or want to) see with their own eyes.

How?

• Invite: “Would it help to hear my perspective?”
• Express: “I’m happy about… I’m worried about…”
• Reflect: “I’ve noticed… I’ve observed…”
• Involve: “What do you see?”

When we are committed to contributing to someone’s success, we can serve as their mirror by offering a valuable perspective, while mitigating the innate fears that criticism triggers. 

We just kicked off another leadership mentoring program for one of our clients.

And I’m bracing myself for the inevitable… Before the end, someone in the program will confess, “I’m so busy. I haven’t connected with my Mentor.”

Of course you’re busy! That’s how you got into the program. By successfully doing a lot of things – by being really great at your job.

Here’s the acute reality: there is nothing urgent about mentoring.

Mentoring is important but it is not urgent. And that’s why we need to do it.

If we are committed to successfully managing AND leading, it’s imperative that we learn how to distinguish and serve the urgent (the issues, the immediate needs, the emergencies) while making time for the important. It’s a critical, yet overlooked distinction of strong leadership.

So how should we define “important”?

• growing ourselves and others
• honing skills and creating new experiences
• discovering fresh approaches and perspectives
• collaborating, innovating, and improving
• recognizing, appreciating, and celebrating others
• connecting and building trusting relationships

By participating in a mentoring relationship, we have the opportunity to practice the art of intentionally advancing the important while effectively managing the urgent.

And if we can learn how to make time for the important-but-not-urgent, we’ll have an impact at work (and in life) well beyond our job titles. 

So how do you advance the important while managing the urgent?

• Find something to care about (what’s important to you?)
• Master communications (listening, speaking, expectations, conflict)
• Learn to delegate effectively (develop, don’t dump!)
• Tackle procrastination and time-zappers

Frankly, I don’t care if participants accomplish their goals in the mentoring program. I only care that they care.

When we are intentional with our time, our relationships, and our communications, we can undertake the important-but-not-urgent, navigate the urgent, and make a difference that ripples.

A foundational rule in improvisational comedy is to “start with Yes!”

Performers are taught to accept whatever is offered in the dialogue and then expand on it. (ex: “I am the king of the world!” “Yes, I can see by the kangaroo on your head that it’s going well!” If instead I respond, “No, you’re not,” our exchange quickly deflates.)

In life starting with “Yes!” creates positive connection, fuels trust, and inspires creativity and collaboration.

As managers, we instinctively aim for a solution, deferring to our intelligence, experience, tenure, or title. In doing so, we often thwart people’s suggestions with our wisdom: “No, that doesn’t work.” “No, it’s not done that way.” “No, it’s not possible.”

But we don’t intend to denigrate others’ ideas. We actually go-to-no because we naturally feel it’s our job to save people, projects, and situations from calamity.

So what would happen if we experimented with Yes!…

Shelley Broader, CEO of Chico’s, a women’s clothing boutique, did just this.

Most retailers abhor Amazon; but condemning the behemoth doesn’t abate its impact.

Broader shifted Chico’s approach by experimenting with “Yes!” Instead of resisting the reality of Amazon, she embraced it.

Chico’s is now selling its merchandise on Amazon and allowing customers to easily return their purchases in any store or bring them in to be matched with additional items, like accessories.

The result? In-store sales have increased!

By starting with “Yes!”, Chico’s is expanding brand awareness, making it easy to do business with Chico’s, and attracting new foot traffic.

We too can shift from go-to-no to start-with-Yes!

Experiment with these phrases:

• Interesting, tell me more.
• How could we make that work?
• What can we do differently?
• Let’s explore that.

And the benefit of saying “Yes!” more often? Optimism… a characteristic we crave in leaders.