[Flash] You Can’t Step Twice into the Same River (or Mentoring Conversation)

Focused on his goal and determined to take action, Jeff joined his company’s mentoring community and invited 24 people to mentor him. Six of them responded immediately, agreeing to support him on his leadership path.

But why did Jeff need six Mentors? He didn’t. What he needed was advice, guidance, and perspectives. He found it in various mentoring conversations.

Jeff set up 20-minute meetings with each Mentor every other month for a year. The result? An assortment of practical ideas, connections, resources, thought partners, and champions… and ultimately a promotion!

Jeff didn’t just work with six Mentors on his learning journey; he engaged in six different mentoring conversations.

You can’t step twice into the same river.

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus (535-475 BC) originated this metaphor as an expression of his core philosophical belief that everything is in flux at all times.

The river is continually changing. Stepping into it offers one experience. Step into it again, and the river is no longer the same – the water has flowed past along with any fish and debris. The water is never the same from one moment to the next.

Life, like the river, is in constant motion; its impermanence renders repetition impossible, making each encounter unique.

Even our mentoring conversations flow like the river, in flux, always evolving, never to be repeated.

• As a Mentee, we can ask the same question of various Mentors, and it will generate different advice based on the Mentor’s experiences, gained wisdom, and particular viewpoint.
• As a Mentor, we can offer the same advice to various Mentees, and it will be received and acted upon differently depending on the Mentee’s situation and specific goal.

This brevity affords us freedom. Instead of searching for the perfect Mentor, the right answer, or the precise solution, we can engage in possibility. The possibility of our connections.

The possibility that wisdom can be gleaned from anyone in any conversation, provided we stay present, curious, and engaged.

To leverage the metaphorical flowing river:

• Look for mentoring instead of a Mentor.
• Tackle goals by seeking advice from a range of people.
• Offer your advice, perspectives, and ideas to anyone seeking guidance.
• Say yes regularly to formal mentoring programs, either as a Mentor or a Mentee – your experience in the program will never be repeated.’

You can’t step twice into the same river or the same mentoring conversation.

© 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.