| Lynnae and I have been friends since 3rd grade. While our professional and personal journeys look very different, we still talk weekly as she’s driving to work and I’m walking my dogs.
This fall, Lynnae started teaching at a new school district, prompting various onboarding requirements and training. When we connected recently, she mentioned her gender-identity training, which led to a discussion about how society had evolved since we were in school – in the 80s, we didn’t announce gender pronouns, nor had we ever heard of “gender fluidity.” We both agreed that we didn’t fully understand all the nuances. And then Lynnae asserted, “But I don’t have to understand it. I just need to respect it.” Her profound declaration gave me pause – was I trying too hard to understand while failing to respect? Like every great mentor, Lynnae had twisted the figurative kaleidoscope through which I was looking – her pronouncement changed my view. This week when Lynnae called, we explored family dynamics. I was venting, grateful to borrow her ear, appreciating her exceptional listening skills – she seeks to make a difference without encroaching. And that’s when Lynnae echoed her view-altering perspective from our prior conversation: “Maybe you don’t need to understand it. Maybe you just need to respect it” – there’s my BFF again mentoring me at 6:30 am! I reconsidered my grumbling… Reflecting on what it means to “respect,” I’ve concluded that I can:
Respect involves treating people with goodwill without needing to change our own ideas and choices. Respect is simply acknowledging that we are all having a human experience. I don’t need to understand yours, but I can certainly respect it. © 2022. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |