In 1989 college senior Wendy Kopp wrote her senior thesis proposing a national teaching corps to recruit college grads to teach in underserved schools. To launch Teach for America she needed money. She knew that successful businessman Ross Perot was passionate about public education and could fund her idea.
Wendy wrote Perot 11 letters before he finally called her. She pitched her vision and he gave her $500,000. Today Teach for America has a $300 million budget and 50,000 alumni.
Most people would have concluded Perot was disinterested, and then start to doubt themselves.
But Wendy’s perseverance demonstrates the power of separating ourselves from other people’s actions.
The secret is to ask, “What about this is about me?”
What about Perot’s initial lack of response was about Wendy personally? Nothing. Perhaps he didn’t receive the letters, got busy or distracted, was confused about the value, needed more information, or was stuck under a rock.
We tend to assume there’s something wrong with us rather than assume there’s something wrong with the other person or the situation… or nothing wrong at all!
Consider all the situations where we could instantly apply “What-about-this-is-about me?”
- Lousy customer service
- Aggressive drivers
- Bad bosses
- Ridiculous company policies
- Opposing political or religious views
- Rude, unkind people
- ”No!”
None of that is about us personally. And yet we often act like it’s a personal affront, triggering our defensiveness, frustration, or resignation.
What-about-this-is-about-me? can break the proverbial chains that stop us from operating with excellence and pursuing our passions.
Wendy Kopp was so determined to launch Teach for America that she deemed everyone’s response as informational, not judgmental.
Once we stop making it (other people’s behavior) about us, we will find interesting experiences, valuable information, and insights.
