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In 1968, when the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration required all cars to be equipped with seatbelts, drivers bristled.
By 1983, only 15% of Americans were using seatbelts. In 1984, New York became the first state to mandate seatbelts, and soon other states followed. But the public raged in opposition. People protested; they cut seatbelts out of their cars and challenged the mandates in court. Radio personality Jerry Williams launched a “crusade against seatbelts,” arguing, “We shouldn’t be forced to buckle up!” Others argued that seatbelts were ineffective, inconvenient, and uncomfortable. Decades later, seatbelts no longer trigger such emotions. Today, over 90% of people use them without hesitation, protest, or fury. We don’t hate change. (Everyone I know is working on improving or growing in some way, personally or professionally.) We hate being changed. We don’t want people telling us how and when to change. We value our personal freedom. We want to choose how and when to change our minds, shift our opinions, experiment with a new approach, adopt a different perspective, develop, adapt, adjust, or transform. Like seatbelt mandates, unsolicited advice tests that freedom to choose. People naturally justify, defend, and resist when faced with unexpected advice, opinions, or suggestions. In psychology, this resistance is called “Reactance Theory.” Reactance occurs when a person feels that someone or something is threatening their behavioral freedoms, eliminating their choices, or limiting their range of alternatives. In response, the person becomes defensively defiant, exercising their freedom and decision-making. Telling people how to live their lives is habitual if not well-intentioned (and sometimes even required). But any of the following approaches might allow us to influence and contribute while abating the vehement resistance in others:
In the immortal words of Tom Cruise in the movie Jerry McGuire, “Help me help you!” © 2022. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |