|
My dog ran away.
In April, we adopted Ollie, a vigilant but fearless 2-year-old boxer mix who had been abandoned. The rescue organization warned us that she was a “runner,” but we had no idea… After a car ride one afternoon, we opened the door to let her out. But something spooked her. Before we could grab her leash, she took off, like a hostage tasting freedom. Instinctually, we ran after her, shouting her name and chasing Ollie through town until we lost her in a wooded area. We spent the next seven hours searching desperately. And each time we spotted her, she sprinted away – in her feral state, there was no catching her. Near midnight, I drove home to let my other dog out. And that’s when I found Ollie in the backyard – she came home! The next day, we purchased a GPS tracker for her harness and hired a trainer to train us. Upon hearing our saga, the trainer said compassionately, “You can’t chase Ollie. Coming to you needs to be Ollie’s choice. Not yours.” I hadn’t given her any choice! My mentoring program leaders similarly grapple with the choices they offer participants in their programs. With too much choice (“They’re adults; they’ll figure it out”), participants may flounder and relationships fizzle; with too little choice (“Let’s dictate every aspect of their relationship”), participants can feel hindered and disempowered. An underlying goal of any mentoring program is to teach people transferable mentoring skills. But that requires giving the participants some control over their experience and success – choices! Research demonstrates the upside of choice:
Most importantly, research reveals that these benefits occur regardless of whether the choice is actual, trivial, or illusory. Ollie tested this choice theory last weekend. In our backyard, she found a weak board in the wooden fence and pushed her way through it. This time, I didn’t panic, chase, or shout when I realized she had escaped. Instead, I offered in a sweet, sing-songy voice, “Hey, Ollie Girl! Wanna go for a ride in the car?” (One of her favorite activities.) She turned to me excitedly, ran back to our fence, followed me alongside it until we reached the driveway, and jumped into my car – her choice. Pursuit averted! People support that which they help choose. Apparently, dogs do, too! © 2023. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |