From failure celebrations to failure awards, there has recently been a noticeable and concerted effort to de-stigmatize defeat.
Why? Because innovation suffers when people become too afraid to take risks.
On a recent episode of his podcast Work Life, Wharton professor Adam Grant tackles this topic by interviewing U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel Chaveso “Chevy” Cook.
Chevy is known for sharing a “failure resume” with his new boss and his peers.
Along with his accomplishments, he lists in this resume his defeats: schools that rejected him, awards he didn’t receive, opportunities he missed, and leadership disappointments.
Why the confessional? Integrity. In his words, he wants people to know him as a whole person. “I think it keeps me humble.”
The result? Immediate connection and trust. Chevy reported that his failure-sharing creates a safe space, prompting others to share their own moments of failure.
Inspired by this exercise, Adam revealed his own lowlights during the episode:
- failed to make the basketball team in school,
- cut from the soccer team,
- failed the basic writing test in college,
- failed to finish his four years as an NCAA diver,
- rejected by University of Virginia for his first teaching job,
- turned down for a TED Talk three times
While I felt immediate relief that Adam Grant, a seemingly effortless success, is in fact a real person who has missed like the rest of us, I couldn’t help but wonder…
Why are we sharing failures and not resilience?
I’m far more interested in what Chevy and Adam did after each of their fails.
- How did they respond?
- What did they learn?
- What insights did they have?
- Did they pivot or persevere?
Too much failure bragging, and we lose the value of flops: the learning!
As a Mentor, sharing a failure resume is an easy way to decrease the intimidation Mentees often feel. Revealing our stumbles can de-risk the interaction while kindling trust and connection.
But that’s just the start. The point of mentoring is to learn from and contribute to each other, and we do that by studying those stumbles.
Exploring the what-did-you-do-next after a disappointment turns failures into fuel:
- What did you learn from that experience?
- What helped you bounce back?
- Did you pivot your goals or persevere?
- How did this failure inform future decisions?
- What will you do differently next time?
Resilience is forged in cuts, while wisdom is etched in scars.
© 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.