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Gentoo penguins in Antarctica strengthen their connections with each other by collecting and sharing pebbles.
Why pebbles? Because penguins use pebbles to build nests. So, the simple act of bringing rocks to another penguin signals a desire to develop a relationship. Similarly, with humans, “pebbling” entails small, consistent acts of attention and communication. And in mentoring, pebbles are potent. They demonstrate an ongoing effort to connect, engage, and cultivate a mentoring relationship. Pebbling communicates our respect for a mentee – we value the relationship and want to invest in it, not just serve as a monthly checkpoint. The “pebbles” we share do not entail enormous exertions of time, effort, or resources – they are small and considerate gifts:
Pebbling is a modest effort with a mighty impact. People often feel isolated at work and in life because their overconsumption of technology individualizes their experiences. Pebbling restores interaction. It prevents the emotional drift that can occur from isolation. The simple act of pebbling conveys to our mentee, “I see you. I heard you. I know you. I’m here. You belong. You are important to me. I’m thinking of you.” Being seen, remembered, and acknowledged, strengthens the connection and trust between a mentor and a mentee. My mom managed and mentored a real estate office of one hundred realtors. Every year, she personally called each realtor on their birthday to sing, even on voicemail. She never missed the opportunity to make them feel special. Deepening the relationships and their trust was too important. If pebbling is so effective, what stops us from leveraging it?
But mentees need to be on our radar, not just our calendar. When they are, pebbling becomes an extension of our mentoring – an opportunity to contribute between the cadence of scheduled meetings. If we want to influence a mentee’s learning journey, we must infuse ourselves into it. © 2024. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |