[Flash] Seinfeld’s Pop-Tarts Perspective is a Mentor Super Skill

Loosely based on the Pop-Tarts origin story, Unfrosted tells the tale of the race between Kellogg’s and Post to create the first breakfast pastry in 1963.

Reflecting on his directorial debut experience, Seinfeld compared the simplicity of his stand-up comedy career with his role as a director. He never before needed to navigate so many personalities to create a fun environment.

Seinfeld shared this example:
“We had one guy from the props department blow up on the set. He lost his temper one time and started screaming at his underling. And I said, ‘We have to calm down. It’s a movie about Pop-Tarts! None of this matters!‘”

Seinfeld’s endeavor to diffuse and redirect is a mentor super skill.

We rightly extol a mentor’s “active listening“ skills – acknowledging and validating a mentee’s experience, helping them feel heard and felt (credit: Just Listen by Mark Goulston).

And yet, redirecting people out of their valley of despair is an equally powerful mentoring skill.

The secret? Leverage the trust that is created through active listening.

This foundation of trust promises contribution not condemnation, enabling the mentor to deliberately redirect the mentee through conversation.

• I hear you. You’re feeling frustrated/angry/disappointed. I might, too, in that situation.
• Here’s my perspective that could help us view this another way. (It’s a Pop-Tarts movie!)
• Let’s explore how to turn this into a learning experience or find a solution.
• What aspect would you like to focus on?
• How can I support you?
• What should we do next?

One of my mom’s superpowers is the ability to diffuse anger and upset. As a Managing Broker, she led an office of 100 personality-rich realtors in a Chicago suburb, and nothing rattled or riled her. Even when someone unleashed their anger on her, she remained unflappable.

Her benchmark response: “It’s OK. What’s the worst that can happen?“

I don’t have memories of my mom expressing stress or anger when we were kids. Instead, I remember her giving us space to vent, validating our emotions, diverting us with “what’s the worst that can happen,“ helping us devise solutions, and then championing our actions without rescuing us. A consummate mentor.

Today, when my team feels stressed, I remind all of us, “It’s just a mentoring program. No one’s going to die.“

We could call it a Pop-Tarts perspective! 

© 2024. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.