| Many leaders lately have shared similar frustrations with me: “Why are my peers O.K. with mediocrity?” “How can I get my boss to change her behavior?”
My response: “Not your circus. Not your monkeys.” Originated in Poland, this adage is an admonition that we are not in control of specific people or situations. If we were, we could do something to change or direct them. And because we are not, agonizing and stressing about them is a waste of our time and energy. This is similar to the first part of the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” “Not my circus, not my monkeys” is a playful way of reminding us to let go. When we recognize that it’s not our circus to fix, change, or control, we can also let go of our resentment, disdain, and contempt. Be cautious, however. Not letting go but saying you did will quickly have you feeling like those disgruntled employees who sneer, “Not my job!” communicating their refusal to help and their overall callous indifference. While it’s not our Circus and we aren’t the Ringmaster, we can still care about the mediocre performance and disappointing behaviors. We are like ticket-holding Spectators under the Big Top, expecting a sensational show! But when our expectations are not met, here’s what we can do:
Letting go leaves us with space and energy in which to demonstrate empathy, kindness, and humanity. And that is the Greatest Show on Earth. © 2021. Ann Tardy and Mentor Lead. www.mentorlead.com |