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In her book Braving the Wilderness, Brene’ Brown writes: ”We love the idea of humankind but people in general get on our nerves.”
This stark reality routinely challenges our commitment to lead: we love the idea of helping people and making a difference, but personalities, problems, and politics irritate us.
Brown suggests that we can best deal with people-on-our-nerves by engaging in moments of joy and pain. So don’t skip the funerals, weddings, and celebrations – they matter.
But to truly engage in moments of joy and pain, individual experiences must become shared experiences.
For example, flying is typically an individual experience. We jockey for our place in line to board; we stow our own luggage; we take our seat; we put in earphones; we do work or watch a movie. It’s an individual experience (and everyone around us seems unavoidably annoying).
Recently, I was on a flight when that individual experience became a shared experience. After a man had collapsed from a heart attack, flight attendants found a doctor on board. When the doctor performed CPR and saved the man’s life, the plane erupted in applause! A shared experience!
But what do we do without a funeral to mourn, a wedding to celebrate, or a resuscitated man to cheer? In other words, on a daily basis, how do we move people off our nerves and onto our side so we can enjoy the humans in humankind?
By intentionally creating shared experiences:
- Request mentoring conversations
- Join a book club or Toastmasters
- Volunteer to help someone problem-solve
- Engage in team building activities
- Identify commonalities
- Point out the humor in situations
- Ask people about their stories
- Seek ways to partner with people
For less irritation and more joy, look for opportunities to evolve individual experiences into shared experiences. |
