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Comedian and author Chelsea Handler jammed her new book, I’ll Have What She’s Having, with her standard irreverent and derisive storytelling.
But in the middle, she takes a surprising pause to share a poignant, seminal mentoring moment with Jane Fonda. As Chelsea describes the encounter, Jane invited Chelsea for dinner: “I need to talk to you.” When they sat down to eat, Jane did not hesitate, “You might have noticed that I’ve been icy toward you since the fundraiser, and I want to tell you why.” “You behaved badly at my party. From the moment you came in, you had a black cloud hanging over you. You insulted people, and it brought the whole party down. A few people told me you were horrible to them.” “I don’t get it. Why did you even come if you were in that kind of mood?” [Genuinely confused and curious, Jane paused to allow Chelsea to engage and explain.] Chelsea met Jane’s candidness with humility. She revealed her recent journey into therapy to work on her deep anger. [Rather than defend her behavior, Chelsea leaned into Jane’s invitation, not with excuses but with vulnerability.] Encouraged, Jane responded, “Good. Your gifts are plentiful. Sometimes, people with the most gifts have the easiest time throwing them in the trash.” [Here, Jane disclosed the compelling reason she summoned Chelsea to dinner. And doing so validated Chelsea’s talent.] “Don’t be a product of your environment, Chelsea. Make your environment be a product of you.” [Like a female Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jane concluded with watershed wisdom.] It was risky. Without obligation, agenda, or permission, Jane confronted Chelsea despite the unpredictability of Chelsea’s reaction. Jane dared Chelsea to be better than her behavior. It was audacious. And Chelsea could have easily missed the moment. She could have avoided the altercation, accused Jane of offending her, justified her actions, and then unloaded it all on stage in a future comedy sketch disparaging Jane. Instead, she recognized Jane’s generosity, a raw display of humanity. Chelsea concluded, “Jane will never have to talk with me about my behavior again – that kind of honesty deserves action!” Audacious mentoring moments can be formative when our courage with each other meets our commitment to each other. © 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |