[Flash] Is Goal a 4-Letter Word?

And in response, many mentees cringe, wince, scowl, and occasionally glare.

Why? How did “goal” become a 4-letter word?

1. Setting goals is confronting, a reminder that we are responsible for creating our path forward.

2. A goal can feel like another project.  

3. Goals often emphasize what’s wrong instead of amplifying what’s right.

4. We tend to want to change that which we cannot.

Katy Milkman, author of How to Change, distinguishes:

• Hard Goals: attempting to change circumstances outside our control, like weather, time, people, traffic, and politics.
• Smarter Goals: augmenting our strengths, skills, capabilities, emotional acumen, and experiences.

5. We neglect our emotional connection to change.

When asked to set a goal, people instinctively focus on what they lack (ex: a title, a raise, a degree, a skill, an accomplishment, a network).

At the same time, they’re typically content with their lacking – they’ve learned to live with the insufficiency for now, forfeiting any urgency to change.

Fueled by Feelings
Instead, focus on how you want to feel (ex: confident, competent, strategic, connected, triumph, healthier, engaged, calm, joyful).

This emotional connection fuels change… your ambition is on a mission.

Finding Emotional Fuel
Non-fiction authors use the following formula to architect the framework for a compelling book:

1. What do people struggle with?
2. What will it take for them to stop being frustrated? 
3. How do they want to feel?
4. What questions will they have that I can answer in this book?
5. Why is this so important to them?

Apply this same formula to identify your emotionally-fueled goal:

1. What do I struggle with / what frustrates me?
2. What will it take for me to stop being frustrated? 
3. What do I want to be different? How do I want to feel?
4. What questions will I have going from point A to point B? (Save these for your mentor)
5. Why is this so important to me? 

And when it’s significant to you, it becomes significant to your mentor.

Goals are imperative. But your ambition on a mission is riveting.

© 2023. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.