“The way we do anything is the way we do everything.” ~ attributed to Martha Beck and Iyanla Vanzant,
each writers and television personalities
In other words, how we operate in one situation is typically indicative of how we act in other situations. Essentially people reveal themselves through their actions.
And this is particularly apparent in mentoring.
In my most successful leadership mentoring programs, I incorporate a Mid-Point Presentation in which each Mentee presents a synthesis of their project, progress, and learnings to date.
Why? Because the Mid-Point invariably separates those in action from those stuck in aspiration.
Unfailingly right before the presentations, I get an email from someone bearing an excuse: “I’m just too busy!” “This is not for me.” “I need more time.” “My mentor hasn’t responded.” “My mentee never reached out.”
While I never force anyone to continue the program, I do suggest, without judgment, “The way we do mentoring is the way we do everything.”
And then I explain that transformation happens when you identify your patterns:
- Is procrastination a common theme for you?
- Do you have trouble holding people accountable?
- Do you tend to commit but fail to execute?
- Are you stuck in other areas in your life?
- Do you tend to avoid confrontation with others?
- Do you typically get overwhelmed?
- Are you struggling to create/execute goals in other areas of your life? Do you struggle helping others create/execute their goals?
- Do you lack clarity, initiative, or perseverance elsewhere?
We show up in mentoring the same way we show up in our jobs and in our lives.
Auspiciously, mentoring offers us an invaluable opportunity to see our blindspots and notice patterns of sabotaging behaviors.
Only then can we choose to continue or change our actions and ultimately our results.
