[Flash] How to Mentor in 3s (Framework to Bolster Mentor Confidence)

Too busy? Nope. Too afraid.

Because they don’t know how to mentor, they’re concerned about failing to help a mentee.

Here’s the good news… mentees don’t need nor want fixing, changing, or saving. They simply want a guide, a thought partner, and a champion.

Then what is causing this spate of low mentor confidence? Excessive self-expectations, harsh self-judgment, fear, lack of skill, and lack of experience.

So, how can anyone increase their mentoring confidence and learn to mentor? By mentoring others.

Here is a framework to get started…

3 Things to Ask Yourself

1. What do I want to get out of mentoring?
2. What experiences have I had that would be valuable to share?
3. What advice would I give someone having a similar experience?

3 Things to Learn about a Mentee

1. What’s important to them?
2. What expectations do they have?
3. What do they want to get out of working together?

3 Questions to Ask your Mentee to Build Trust

1. Where did you grow up? Tell me your story.
2. Describe your professional journey. How did you choose this career?
3. How do you spend your time outside of work?

3 Questions to Ask your Mentee in Each Meeting

1. What will make this meeting a success for you?
2. What progress have you made on your goal, and what insights have you gained?
3. What do you want to accomplish before our next meeting?

3 Actions to Avoid

1. Fixing or rescuing
2. Preaching, dictating, scolding, or admonishing
3. Breaching confidentiality

3 Ways to Share Wisdom

1. Here’s a similar experience I had…
2. Here’s what I learned, my insights…
3. Here are the choices I made next…

3 Ways to be a Thought Partner

1. What problem is this solving?
2. What impact will this have?
3. What else have you considered?

3 Ways to Contribute

1. Recommend strategies
2. Recommend books
3. Recommend people

3 Ways to Check In on Your Relationship

1. How has our mentoring made a difference for you so far?
2. How can I help you feel more supported?
3. What have we not yet addressed or accomplished?

We don’t need to be champions to start mentoring. We just need to start mentoring to be champions.

Mentoring is confidence in action.

© 2023. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.