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In his book Never Split the Difference, FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss divulges communication secrets to navigating negotiations and influencing outcomes.
In Chapter 6, Voss recommends that when pitching a manager for a new role or project, don’t be a body for a job. Be an ambassador of their success. Doing so will validate their intelligence while recruiting an unofficial mentor at the same time. How? Ask: “What does it take to be successful here?” This purposeful inquiry signals an invitation for their advice and guidance. When someone gives us advice, the Advice Giver covertly hopes we follow it – our actions confirm their wisdom. So, the Advice Giver will observe our next move and stake a personal claim on our success. With that one question, we offer the Advice Giver an opportunity to invest in us, like a mentor. Advice Hesitation? If one question could rouse a champion…
Because conceding that we need advice or help can often feel vulnerable, an admission that we don’t have all the answers. This carries the burden of embarrassment, buttressed on a foundation of fear. Get past that discomfort, and our world will be bursting with wisdom! Advice-inviting is an empowering skill set, simultaneously requiring and fueling our confidence, courage, and curiosity. 7 Steps to Advice-Inviting:
Pick a problem. Pick a person. Pick their brain. When we actively and regularly engage in advice-inviting conversations, we can drastically deepen our connections and outcomes. Don’t worry about calling someone a “mentor” – purposefully invite their advice and their mentoring will follow. © 2024. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. ps. Have you registered yet for our 2024-Q3 complimentary webinar? |