[Flash] Click is Created… Just Ask the Bachelor

To be successful and make it to the next round, Bachelorettes need to connect quickly with the Bachelor.

But some Bachelorettes wait expectantly for a connection to happen, surprised and heartbroken when the Bachelor inevitably muses, “My relationships with others have grown faster.”

Similarly, mentoring “contestants” must connect quickly with their new mentoring partners to successfully accomplish identified goals within the program’s timeframe.

Unfortunately, when participants expect but don’t feel an immediate connection, they often withdraw from the program, explaining, “I just didn’t click with my mentoring partner!”

But “click” doesn’t miraculously emerge. “Click” is created.

Here’s the secret and the science:

According to research, 40% of what people say involves their subjective experiences – how they think and feel about a situation. That means that almost half of what people share in a conversation has no impact on the outcome.

The same study also revealed that talking about themselves gives people the sensation and satisfaction they feel from food, money, and sex.

So, turn on the spotlight, hand over the mic, and invite people to gab! 

But how? With a series of three questions…

The Click Framework:

1. informational question
2. historical question
3. experiential question

Example Script:

1. Informational (banter effortlessly)

• What do you do?
• I work in a cancer research lab.
• Interesting! 

2. Historical (marvel at their journey)

• How did you get into that career?
• My dad worked in the lab and brought me with him on weekends when I was growing up.
• He must be proud!

3. Experiential (play Willie Geist, interviewer)

• How is that experience of sharing a career with your dad?
• What is it like working in the lab on such important research?

While the Click Framework prompts the other person to talk, it also forces us to listen actively, suspending our desire to grab the mic.

By deploying the three-question formula, we demonstrate our commitment to connect, fuel our curiosity, engage our new learning partner, and create the coveted click!

Most significantly, we create an intentional conversation that elevates the importance of our new partner and whatever they choose to share.

“… people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou

© 2023. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.