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During my early morning dog walk, my friend Lynnae shared with me nonchalantly an invitation she offers her kids every morning, “Choose joy.”
Oooh… that intrigued me at 6 am! Ordinarily, I presume external factors cause joy. For example, “This person/place/thing brings me joy!” But that means I am constantly at the mercy of outside forces, waiting for someone or something to generate my feelings of happiness, delight, appreciation, and exceptional satisfaction. What if I generated the feeling of joy? What if I intentionally chose to create happiness, regardless of people, places, and things? I decided to experiment with that notion throughout the day. When I walked into the gym that morning, I was distracted, concerned about a text message I had just received – a situation I could not control. When a friend asked me if I was OK, I paused, about to drama share. And then I remembered the invitation to “choose joy!” What would that entail? Pretend everything is fine? Ignore reality? Fake it until I feel it? No, I discovered it’s simpler than that. Choosing joy involves focusing on, creating, and appreciating the moment we are in. Not allowing our experience to be dictated or derailed by circumstances outside our control. So, I expressed to my friend genuinely, “I’m happy I made it!” And I proceeded to enjoy my workout. It felt like a commercial break during a television drama. Of course, the drama had not dissolved – I had merely paused it. As soon as I left the gym, my phone flooded with text messages. Later, when I attended a Zoom meeting, I chose joy. Again, I halted my upset and concern by focusing on my clients and the conversation, intentionally creating the interaction and productively moving the project forward. With each connection, phone call, and meeting, I deployed “choose joy!” I even chose joy after I caused a spectacular error… I resolved to learn something and laugh about it instead of fixate and self-flagellate. By choosing joy all day, I created my experience. I controlled what I could control – my attitude, my responses, and my engagement. When one of my clients suggested, “You are probably super busy, so I won’t take much of your time.” I responded deliberately, “This is the most important conversation I am having right now.” She smiled gratefully. While I cannot control people, places, and things, I can influence them with my joy. But only if I choose joy first. © 2023. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |