| In the wildly popular television show Ted Lasso, actor Jason Sudeikis plays a plucky, burning-with-optimism coach of an American football team hired to coach a struggling football team in London.
In an early episode, Rupert, the team’s derisive former owner, challenges Ted to a dart game. Assuming Ted doesn’t play darts, Rupert wages a substantial bet on the game, confident he can embarrass Ted. As Ted is aiming his dart, he shares, “You know, Rupert, guys have underestimated me my entire life. It used to really bother me until I saw this quote by Walt Whitman painted on a wall. It said, ‘Be curious, not judgmental.’ “And it hit me. All them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them was curious. They thought they had everything all figured out. So they judged everything and everyone. And if they were only curious, they would’ve asked me questions like, ‘Have you played a lot of darts, Ted?’ To which I would’ve answered, ‘Yes, sir, every afternoon at a sports bar with my father from age ten till I was 16.’” And with that, Ted throws the final dart into the bullseye and wins the game, gifting the show its subtle yet obvious theme: be curious, not judgmental. With each episode, the writers dare us to judge characters by their titles, looks, or actions. And then, they challenge our judgment by revealing backstories or evolving those characters. We are judgmental – we evaluate, assess, and gauge everything positively or negatively – every situation, every interaction, every conversation, and every person. We are hardwired to judge – it’s our brain managing and processing the constant influx of information. But we tend to judge irresponsibly. We judge without discernment, based merely on one experience or interaction. We then allow that judgment to go unquestioned, relying on and referencing it like the truth – a failure in curiosity. We can do better. 5 steps to be responsibly judgmental: 1. Notice judgment – positive and negative 2. Reflect on your judgment – where/how did it originate? Is it promoting, protecting, or preventing? 3. Wonder, “What am I missing about this person or this situation? What is the backstory?” 4. Consider, “How might this person or situation evolve?” 5. Admire some aspect to mitigate any intensity and regain perspective, “I do appreciate their confidence / passion / conviction / courage / commitment.” As long as we are judging, let’s be deliberate! Our story is still developing… © 2023. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |