| In the new reality show Back in the Game, baseball-star-turned-entrepreneur Alex Rodriguez mentors athletes and entertainers who are struggling financially, like Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte.
In my favorite episode, Alex chooses Brian Dunkleman, comedian, actor, and the first host of American Idol.
In Brian’s words, he foolishly quit Idol after one season because he was unable to demonstrate his true acting talents on the show. The producers were irate, and he was never hired in Hollywood again – even his manager stopped calling. They called Ryan Seacrest instead.
Seventeen years later, Brian is broke, divorced, and driving for Uber to survive. He lost everything, including his confidence.
When Alex showed up to mentor Brian out of this rut, he:
- explored Brian’s finances, talents, skills, and passions
- uncovered Brian’s interest in real estate
- arranged for Brian to shadow a real estate magnate
- introduced Brian to his CFO to help negotiate his debt
But Brian rejected every idea Alex suggested by unloading a plethora of excuses.
Alex was unfazed – he didn’t take it personally, but he also didn’t tolerate the excuses. Instead, he shared his perspective of Brian’s situation and his expectations.
Some highlights:
- ”You’re letting your life be defined by your mistakes.”
- ”How do you win if you’re not constantly preparing to win?”
- “You need to wake up every day with your hair on fire, willing to grind!”
- “You have to leverage your PHD – poverty, hunger, and drive. You are poor, but you’re not hungry and driven.”
And then Alex delivered an ultimatum: “Brian, if you’re not in it, I’m not in it.”
After a few days of sulking, Brian finally admitted that his excuses made it easier to hide when life got hard.
As the show concluded, Brian was studying for the real estate exam, paying off his debt, and feeling confident again.
Alex did not have all the answers, nor did he solve Brian’s problems for him. But like a great Mentor, Alex offered advice, perspectives, ideas, encouragement, connections, resources, and some tough love.
Sometimes Mentees get stuck in the valley of despair. But if they could see beyond their own excuses, they wouldn’t need a Mentor!
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