| At the intersection of fatigue, stress, and pressure is a lot of missed expectations, especially around the holidays, especially this year.
But drama only happens when we jump on the stage and pick up the script.
Before engaging and reacting, consider saying one of these phrases to yourself first:
1. Well, that’s interesting.
This is my new favorite line. I discovered it thanks to success coach David Neagle, who preaches detaching and observing.
2. I wonder why…
To avoid conflict, assume there is missing information – facts, context, backstory, agenda. This thought forces a reflective pause… “I wonder why they’re acting that way.”
3. This will make a great story.
As a situation unfolds in chaos, smile to yourself and think, “Bad decisions always make great stories.”
4. Does this really matter?
When we are so close to a situation, it feels excessively significant. But will it be tomorrow or next week or next year?
5. This is not about me.
Instead of sorting through their emotional garbage, people regularly project it onto us instead. And naturally, it feels personal. But it’s not.
6. Does this need to be said, by me, right now?
We must love giving advice. Even when people don’t ask for it, we’re quick to dole it out. Despite our best intentions, unsolicited advice makes people feel judged and criticized. Unless they’re specifically asking for it, don’t share. (Thank you, Craig Ferguson, for this great question! Click here to read my Flash on this topic from Dec 2019.)
7. I’m editing!
I use this thought like an internal high-five – applauding my sovereignty over my emotions and reminding myself to keep responding deliberately, not reacting defensively.
We cannot control or change people. But we can always control our words and actions. And the only place to start is with our thoughts.
Here’s hoping you enjoy a drama-free, fun-filled holiday!
© 2020. Ann Tardy and Mentor Lead. www.mentorlead.com | www.anntardy.com |
