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Holiday gatherings offer a valuable opportunity to practice connecting with curiosity and compassion – a coveted skill that makes us better mentors, leaders, and human beings.
Here are 12 phrases to help us connect, not just cope:
1. You look terrific!
People are constantly critiquing themselves, especially during the holidays. We can instantly reassure them with a (genuine) compliment.
2. You’re amazing!
Ask people about their recent adventures or experiences – everyone deserves a spotlight!
3. How can I help?
Swap “Do you need help?” with “How can I help?” to indicate your commitment to making a difference. Better yet, start helping!
4. What’s your perspective?
Everyone has a perspective, and their view of the world is inevitably different than yours. Get ready to discover what they see!
5. Tell me the story…
Demonstrate an interest in their experience. “Tell me the story of that perspective. How did you get there?” Or “tell me the story of your job change, college decision, vacation…”
6. That’s wonderful, frustrating, or interesting.
People have an innate desire to be understood. No matter the story, validate their experience and make them feel heard by mirroring their feelings with your words.
7. Have you considered…? What about this idea…?
If they ask for your advice or get stuck venting, offer an idea for consideration. Doing so with a question allows you to contribute without judgment, expectation, or pressure.
8. Not yet.
“No” halts conversation, whereas “Not yet” fuels possibility.
9. Say more…
As in, “I’m curious about that idea. Say more about what you’re thinking.”
10. To change the subject…
Not every conversation needs to be exhausted over a basted turkey. Conversations can change, and this phrase signals your intent to change it.
11. Grateful!
Using an alternative to “thanks” causes people to hear it and ourselves to mean it. Options: “Grateful!” “Appreciate you!” or “Much obliged.” For more significant impact, add context: “I’m grateful that you…” “I appreciate you for…”
12. “Pleasure.”
I worked with a woman from South Africa who always responded to my “Thanks” with “Pleasure!” as in, “It was a pleasure to help.” This cheerful response made me delighted that we partnered.
Regardless of the conversations you create this holiday, guests will appreciate your effort to engage. And who knows… you might feel more connected and compassionate as you savor the celebration.
Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving!
© 2023. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved. |
