Feedback that Feeds (not Criticism that Confronts) - MentorLead

Feedback that Feeds (not Criticism that Confronts)

I purchased a power cord on Amazon recently, and the retailer, Hercules Power, sent me an email to check on my experience:

Our goal is for you to be completely satisfied with this transaction. If for any reason this is not the case, we would appreciate it if you would give us a chance to address your concerns before rating us on Amazon.

How refreshing! A request for feedback to feed their success.

Hercules Power knows that “feedback” on Amazon entails a simple 5-star rating (and sometimes a rant!)

They want the opportunity to take action based on my feedback. But they can’t if all they get is a rating.

The Challenge with Feedback
Feedback typically feels like criticism (even when it’s dressed up as “constructive”)… just the word “feedback” triggers our fight-or-flight defenses!

So let’s start giving and seeking Feedback that Feeds.

How? Focus on 3 things:

  1. Goals: anchor feedback to a goal
  2. Actions: point to an action you noticed
  3. Impact: does the action contribute to or contaminate that goal?

Example:

  1. “I know you want to lead the next team.”
  2. “I noticed that you have been working late every night on that project while the rest of the team goes home.”
  3. “Leading a team requires learning how to delegate.”

When we give feedback without referencing someone’s goal, the conversation lacks context – the why we are giving them feedback.

And without context, people usually default to the defensive. So feedback doesn’t have a chance of feeding success.

With Feedback that Feeds, we are anchoring our conversation on what’s important to them (their goal!), which creates instant partnership vs. dreaded confrontation.

Down with constructive criticism! Up with feedback that feeds success!

About the Author