Search Results for: Not for me

I’ve been visiting Beaver Island my entire life. A small island in Lake Michigan accessible by ferry from Charlevoix (no, it’s not Mackinac). There’s one main road, no stop lights, and only one grocery store.

And a lot of people who wave. Drivers wave to other drivers…and to pedestrians and to cyclists. And people wave back. It doesn’t matter if you live here or if you’re just visiting, people wave to you. (Of course, with about 600 people on an island the size of Manhattan, waving is manageable.)

So why do people wave to each other (on or off the island)?

• originally, to demonstrate mutual disarmament – I have no weapons
• today, to say “hello” or “goodbye”
• to acknowledge and recognize people
• to welcome others and communicate a willingness to connect
• to show respect and solidarity

Motorcyclists wave, typically with two fingers pointing downward to signify “stay safe.” And Jeep drivers wave to convey respect. Our commonalities – motorcycles, Jeeps, Beaver Island – help us quickly identify those who share a kindred spirit. We wave to acknowledge the tribe, the community that our commonality creates.

So then what stops us from waving more often?

• we’re too disconnected, our faces buried in screens
• we are indifferent to others – we don’t care
• we worry that waving is insignificant – it wouldn’t matter
• we don’t see (or look for) our commonalities
• we fear being humiliated if others don’t wave back

What if we waved without expectation?

What if we waved simply to help others feel welcomed, acknowledged, and connected? What if we waved to create a kindred spirit instead of waiting for a kindred spirit before waving? All the waving on Beaver Island reminds me that humanity can actually be our commonality.

Colin Powell (retired four-star general in the US Army) once said, “The day the soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”

Like you, I run a team. I get it. We’re busy. And sometimes we wish people would just figure out their own jobs, and stop dumping problems at our feet. We have enough of our own!

And then Colin Powell’s admonition gives us pause. Imagine the silence we would experience if our people stopped reaching out for our guidance and partnership. If our phone goes silent, we failed.

But this doesn’t mean that we are required to rescue people.

• We don’t need to think for them.
• We don’t need to fix each crisis.
• We don’t have to give them all the answers.
• We don’t even have to tolerate repeated questions.

But we better hope they keep seeking our assistance.

And here’s how we can encourage our people to do just that:

• regard each problem as an opportunity to develop people
• insist that people bring us new and different problems
• demand that people identify two solutions for every problem they unload
• coach, mentor, and train people so they learn and grow into bigger problems
• urge people to capture their learnings in job aides and quick guides

Regardless of how busy and stressed we are, we want our “soldiers” to call on us. We want them to have confidence in us as their intrepid leader. We want them to know that we always care about their success.

That’s how we earn the title “boss” day after day.

I’ve been hooked on Katie Couric podcasts lately.

What I love most about Katie is her rabid curiosity. She is masterful at shining the spotlight on others. And when someone shares an experience similar to hers, she never steals the spotlight with, “That happened to me too. Let me tell you my experience…”

When someone tells us their story and we jump in with our own story, we are guilty of spotlight stealing.

We don’t do it maliciously, and (typically) we don’t intend to be rude. We actually share our just-like-me stories because humans connect based on similarities. We pivot to our story – which is just like theirs – because we want to bond.

But in doing so, we inadvertently steal the spotlight. We grab the microphone. We push them off the stage.

To truly develop a connection with someone, we need to keep the spotlight on them until the bulb flickers and fades.

How?

• Be genuinely interested and curious
• Use 1-inch and yardstick questions
• Ask follow-up questions
• Eliminate or mitigate distractions (Katie Couric never Snapchats through an interview!)
• Listen like you’re on assignment

It takes a conscious effort not to steal the spotlight, but the boon to the relationship is worth it:

• They feel listened to and important
• Their trust increases
• We connect and bond

And because of that increased trust, they more readily disclose information to us. We gain access to their beliefs, knowledge, and attitudes, thus further strengthening our bond and our ability to make a difference.

Don’t worry. We’ll get our turn on the stage. But remember, our power to connect and influence lies in letting someone else have the spotlight. Just watch Katie Couric in action!

I grew up with maps. Big, bulky, beautiful, Rand McNally maps. And a globe. These taught me to look for details while appreciating the big picture.

Today our smartphones have map applications, offering precise turn-by-turn directions. With only a small screen, we can get to where we’re going and never care what city we’re driving through.

But to see the landscape using a map app, we need to zoom out.

When we’re constantly zoomed-in at work and in our lives, we are gripped by small screens and small issues. And our sense of curiosity atrophies in the wake.

We unwittingly neglect what’s outside the small screen or the small issue. We read information online without questioning its veracity or source, we stop noticing our surroundings, we become indifferent to the people around us.

And then we miss the meaning… unless we zoom out!

What does it mean to zoom out?

• Look up and look around
• Consider every party’s viewpoint (not just the one side you heard)
• Understand how a project/task fits into the big picture (unsure? ask!)
• Question what’s next (think one step ahead of your boss)
• Have an opinion (eliminate “I don’t know” from your vernacular)
• Endeavor to improve processes and procedures
• Analyze, think, be curious

Our obsession with screens (literal and figurative) creates our myopia. Being incessantly zoomed-in shortchanges our ability to make a difference, because we lack foresight, discernment, and meaning.

We need to Zoom Out!

As a reminder, I purchased an oversized book of maps for my car. I’ll use my app to help me get there, but I’ll use Rand McNally to urge me to Zoom Out! and pay attention to where I’m going.