Search Results for: Not for me

A foundational rule in improvisational comedy is to “start with Yes!”

Performers are taught to accept whatever is offered in the dialogue and then expand on it. (ex: “I am the king of the world!” “Yes, I can see by the kangaroo on your head that it’s going well!” If instead I respond, “No, you’re not,” our exchange quickly deflates.)

In life starting with “Yes!” creates positive connection, fuels trust, and inspires creativity and collaboration.

As managers, we instinctively aim for a solution, deferring to our intelligence, experience, tenure, or title. In doing so, we often thwart people’s suggestions with our wisdom: “No, that doesn’t work.” “No, it’s not done that way.” “No, it’s not possible.”

But we don’t intend to denigrate others’ ideas. We actually go-to-no because we naturally feel it’s our job to save people, projects, and situations from calamity.

So what would happen if we experimented with Yes!…

Shelley Broader, CEO of Chico’s, a women’s clothing boutique, did just this.

Most retailers abhor Amazon; but condemning the behemoth doesn’t abate its impact.

Broader shifted Chico’s approach by experimenting with “Yes!” Instead of resisting the reality of Amazon, she embraced it.

Chico’s is now selling its merchandise on Amazon and allowing customers to easily return their purchases in any store or bring them in to be matched with additional items, like accessories.

The result? In-store sales have increased!

By starting with “Yes!”, Chico’s is expanding brand awareness, making it easy to do business with Chico’s, and attracting new foot traffic.

We too can shift from go-to-no to start-with-Yes!

Experiment with these phrases:

• Interesting, tell me more.
• How could we make that work?
• What can we do differently?
• Let’s explore that.

And the benefit of saying “Yes!” more often? Optimism… a characteristic we crave in leaders.

Vote Week in New York City for Participatory Budgeting just concluded. NYC believes the people who live in the community know what the community needs; so it allows community members to directly decide how to spend part of the public budget.

Here’s how it works:

1. The NYC Council identifies a portion of the budget that will be decided upon by the citizens (this year it’s $1,000,000).
2. Citizens discuss local needs in their districts.
3. Volunteers in each district develop spending proposals.
4. Citizens vote for their 5 favorite project proposals.
5. The Council funds the projects that receive the most votes until the identified funding is exhausted.

Some funded projects have included: school improvements, parks, libraries, and public housing. “Participatory Budgeting” is grounded on the notion that people support that which they help create. Because community members are involved in the process of deciding how to spend part of the budget, they are more likely to support the Council’s ultimate spending decisions. So how can we leverage participatory bias in our teams and organizations?

• Participatory Agenda: invite people to submit agenda items for a meeting
• Participatory Goals: invite people to submit their ideas for team goals
• Participatory Performance Reviews: invite people to write a portion of their own reviews
• Participatory Process Improvement: invite people to submit ideas for improving processes

Involving people…

• bolsters their shift from victim to victor
• strengthens their trust in the process and in their leaders
• powers their ownership in solutions
• fuels their engagement
• underscores their importance in success

Granted, we frequently need to choose dictatorship over democracy, but let’s not miss those opportunities to share a part of the decision process with the people who are impacted by the decisions we make.

If NYC can do it, so can we!

We are hard-wired to connect.

Ironically however, the more connected we are online, the more disconnected we become.

Blame the digital culture – it robs us of an essential, real-world social skill: connecting meaningfully with others. Not surprisingly, being focused on screens atrophies our ability to listen – this zaps the empathy required for meaningful connection (regardless of how many emojis we add!).

Is it time to embrace the Village Movement?

Launched in Boston in 2001, the Village Movement was created to help older adults age in their home instead of moving into senior housing or assisted living.

The way the Village works: members (a group of residents) share access to services; ex: transportation, meal delivery, dog walking, technology training, wellness programs, and social activities.

In addition, the Village’s person-centered focus and community-minded living fuel collaboration and meaningful connections.  Members contribute their skills, ideas, and expertise that benefit the Village; ex: a retired lawyer might offer pro-bono advice; a retired nurse might volunteer to help older members with medication; and someone passionate about fitness might teach a yoga class.

Can the Village Movement work at work?

Imagine a culture ripe with person-centered, community-minded, meaningfully connected, collaborative teams that show up ready to listen, engage, contribute, and thrive together!

Some easy-to-implement ideas:

• No screens in meetings (keep people present!)
• Face-to-face contact (produces endorphins that enhance our well-being)
• “Tell me more” (3 powerful words that signal an interest in meaningful connection)
• Video conferencing (use FaceTime or Skype to maintain bonds built in person)
• Communal eating (sharing food resolves conflict and creates group identity)
• Creative activities (painting, singing, and dancing allow for shared experiences)

We might not be contemplating senior living options yet, but we always need to foster the connections that enable our people to solve problems, retain talent, learn and develop, accelerate ideas, and fuel their happiness.

Woo-hoo! The annual holiday to be more grateful has arrived!

And every year, experts apprise us of all the benefits we could reap personally by being more grateful: lower blood pressure, less stress, better sleep, stronger mental clarity, happiness…

But what about the influence that being grateful can have on others?

There are two behavioral theories that get triggered when we acknowledge and appreciate others:

1. Self-Delusion Bias

2. Spotlight Effect

Self-Delusion Bias People who feel good about themselves tend to perform better. When we express gratitude by acknowledging someone, we fuel their self-esteem and boost their confidence. And with boosted confidence, people exert even more effort in hopes of obtaining more self-esteem fuel.

Spotlight Effect People who feel their actions are noticed (“spotlighted”) by someone tend to operate more effectively just to impress the person watching.  When we express gratitude by appreciating someone’s actions, we spotlight that action.

Just by noticing, we spark that person’s desire to perform that action even better in hopes that we continue to notice and spotlight that action again.

The secret, however, is in the specificity. Running around yelling “Thanks, Bob!” “Thanks, Mary!” is ineffective because it feels contrived and insincere. How? We need to put some gusto in our gratitude!

• Thank you for the way you always make us healthy dinners.
• I appreciate the difference you make on the team with your solutions.
• I am grateful for your perseverance in getting us the right answer.
• I am in awe of your constant kindness toward strangers.

If we want our gratitude to be significant and ripple with impact beyond the holidays, we need to add a little gusto to our gratitude!

South Carolina Gamecocks beat the Duke Blue Devils in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament in a major upset this week.

But it was the Gamecocks Coach Frank Martin’s display of unabashed passion and courage that was most remarkable.

Outside the stadium before the game in Greenville, SC, protestors positioned a large Confederate flag, ensuring everyone would see it waving in the wind as they entered.

In the post-game press conference, Coach Martin intentionally commented where others might cower.

He could have ignored the controversy. He could have just basked in the glory that his team was headed to the Sweet 16 for the first time ever.

But Coach Martin believed strongly that:

• not saying something would be saying something
• not saying something would be condoning the flag’s negative message
• not saying something would be a missed opportunity

Here are some highlights from his speech:

• “It’s [the protesting Confederate flag] unfortunate, but it’s America. We have freedoms. People have freedoms to do whatever they want to do with themselves and their property.”
• “There are things out there that I don’t like. But I can’t force people to do what I want them to do.”
• “All I know is this unbelievable university and state has taken in a son of Cuban immigrants that’s married to a Jamaican woman, has mixed kids, and they’ve treated me like I’m one of their own from Day 1.”
• “I wouldn’t want to coach in any other state or with any other group of people or for any other bosses than the ones I’ve got.”

We may not get a press conference for our achievements like Coach Martin, but every day we have the opportunity to exude passion for our work, genuinely appreciate our bosses and our peers, stand up for what we believe in, and model courage for the people on our teams.

Why did you succeed? I worked really hard.

Why didn’t you succeed? The weather, the traffic, my computer, the regulations, my boss, my peers, my car, the company policies. I’ve been so busy! The dog ate my homework. The serpent beguiled me.

This is the Self-Serving Bias in action.

A behavioral influence in which we take credit for our successes, while blaming external circumstances for our shortcomings, disappointments, and failures.

Of course we do! We’re boosting our confidence while protecting our self-esteem!

There are 2 problems with blaming circumstances:

1. People absolve themselves of personal responsibility. As a result, they become a victim under their circumstances, leaving little room to become a victor over them.

2. People fail to evaluate all the information available to them (internal and external roadblocks), resulting in poor decisions.

As leaders, how do we lead people out of their own way? With the Lasso of Truth.

Wonder Woman used a truth-compelling lasso. We can employ truth-compelling questions (just imagine the twirling lasso!):

• What role have you played in your success or disappointment?
• If we look at only controllable factors, which ones attributed to your success or failure?
• From your perspective, what specific actions/behaviors did you take or should you have taken?
• What actions/behaviors can you change moving forward to change your results?

When we allow people to point fingers at external circumstances, we condone their victim status, and they stay stuck. Stuck people, stuck team, stuck leader.

But when we help people focus on controllable factors (their actions and behaviors!), we lead them out of their own way.

Altercations, missed deadlines, defective processes, and empty promises are like broken windows. Left unfixed, they communicate our tolerance for broken windows.

According to the Broken Windows Theory, addressing petty crimes will prevent more serious crimes. Social scientists contend that small signs of disorder actually encourage more widespread negative behavior.

In 1993, Mayor Giuliani put the Broken Windows Theory into action to decrease crime in NYC. He commissioned the city to remove graffiti, clean litter, repair vandalism, and arrest toll-jumpers. By tackling minor disorders with zero-tolerance, Giuliani reinstated order and lawfulness in the city.

We need to put this theory into action with our teams.

If we don’t fix the broken windows, we not only condone them, we encourage greater violations.

By confronting the altercations, enforcing the deadlines, changing the processes, and holding people to their promises, we communicate zero-tolerance for negative behavior and thereby, restore order and justice in the environment.

And, as leaders, the environment is pivotal – it’s the only thing we can create. (We cannot create people’s skills or attitudes; we can only influence those with the environment.)

Consequently, we better be intentional about fixing those windows. Our people are watching.