[Flash] Are You Help Hesitant? (3 Simple Steps to Unlock Transformation)

“I called up Bill Hewlett when I was a kid. ‘Hi, I’m Steve Jobs. I’m 14 years old. I’m a student in high school. I want to build a frequency counter, and I was wondering if you have any spare parts I could have.’

“He laughed, gave me the spare parts, and gave me a job that summer at Hewlett-Packard… and I was in heaven.

“Most people never ask, and that’s what separates those who do from those who dream.”

What’s behind help hesitation?

• Asking for help feels vulnerable.
• We overestimate the likelihood that we will be rejected.
• We dread appearing incompetent, weak, or inferior.
• We avoid bothering or inconveniencing others.
• We don’t want to relinquish control and independence.

But studies show that when you ask for help, the other person feels:

1. Admiration: you clearly care more about results than the opinions of others
2. Respected and appreciated: you chose them to help
3. Connected: you trust them enough to share your vulnerabilities
4. Happy: people feel joy doing acts of kindness
5. Engaged: they are working with you on a shared goal (getting you the help you need)

3 steps to confidently ask for help:

1. Context: Share your story – why you need help.

1. Choice: Invite them to make a difference. “Could I ask you a favor?” “Would you be able to help me?”

1. Craving: Describe what you need: “I want some advice.” “I need an introduction.” “I could use some ideas.”

On an airplane once, I had the following exchange with the passenger in front of me:

Me: “I’m finally writing my first book, and I’ve been looking forward to this time on the plane to work on it.”
Passenger: “Exciting!”
Me: “Could I ask you a favor?” 
Passenger: “Sure!”
Me: “I need space to type on my computer. Would you kindly not recline your seat?”
Passenger: “Happy to help!”

She instantly felt respected, appreciated, and engaged. And my request allowed her to do an act of kindness for me, which made her feel good about herself.

When we inspire people with a story, give them a choice, and invite them to make a difference, they feel compelled to contribute to our success.

Just ask.

© 2023. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.