[Flash] And That Happened (How to Thwart an Amygdala Hijack)

In his new documentary, Still, Michael reveals his experiences learning to live with this incurable disease. As his disease has progressed, Michael’s worsened condition makes even walking a challenge.

An early scene in the documentary shows him on a sidewalk in New York City with his aide. When a pedestrian wishes him, “Good morning, Mr. Fox!” he responds, “Hello,” then stumbles and falls.

Immediately, he says to himself, “And that happened.” He then jokingly proclaims to the pedestrian, “Look at that! I fell for you!”

Instead of expressing disgust, frustration, or embarrassment, Michael’s emotionally intelligent response cued him to keep perspective and persevere.

The challenge with emotional intelligence is that we are rarely intelligent when we feel emotional.

Coined by author Daniel Goleman, an “amygdala hijack” occurs when our brain’s emotion-producing amygdala gets activated by a potential threat, and we react emotionally, even irrationally.

In the grip of an amygdala hijack, our rational brain has no time to assess a situation and choose an appropriate response.

Instead, our immediate, overwhelming reaction often causes an altercation… unless the other person stops their amygdala from being hijacked.

How can we thwart an amygdala hijack? By self-regulating our emotions with rules.  

1. Self-Assess: notice what situations feel threatening
2. Create a Rule: create a rule for that situation

We all self-regulate with rules. For example, most of us operate with this rule: “When someone is uncivil or offensive, don’t punch them in the face.”

Without rules, we are at the mercy of our emotions and the inevitable mess those emotions create.

Here are some rules I have adopted (with age and wisdom):

• When someone tailgates me, move to the right, and let them pass.
• When someone rudely talks over me, stop talking (and don’t roll my eyes).
• When someone is negative, use “yes, and” (instead of “yes, but”).
• When someone sends me a disrespectful email or text, don’t immediately respond.

By referring to a rule instead of an emotion, I can de-escalate any threat my amygdala perceives and respond thoughtfully.

And now I have a new rule: Whenever I misstep (literally or figuratively), say, ‘And that happened,’ and keep moving.

© 2023. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.