[Flash] Do the Hokey Pokey in Mentoring and Life

Right arm! You put your right arm in. You put your right arm out. You put your right arm in, and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about!

The song then repeats, calling on other body parts (ex: left leg, right foot, left side, backside) and ending with the whole self!

Remembering this participation dance, I’ve noticed a similarity to how people participate in mentoring. There are:

1. Observers
2. Right Arms
3. Whole Selves

Observers
Observers sit on the side, watching everyone else have fun. 

They don’t participate in mentoring because they are too busy or don’t feel like they need it. 

Right Arms
Right Arms participate in mentoring but in a limited way. 

Right Arms attend the virtual kickoff but never turn on their cameras or participate in the chat. They have a mentoring partner, but they only sporadically meet because they’ve made little effort to get to know them personally. And they lack a compelling goal, so there’s no sense of urgency to connect. By the end of the program, they often regret missing the opportunity, especially when they hear about the Whole Selves’ great relationships and transformative successes.

Whole Selves
Whole Selves jump into the mentoring experience. 

They make contact immediately with their Mentor or Mentee. They show up with gripping goals and unbridled enthusiasm for the possibility of the partnership! They quickly look for ways to build trust, engage, and contribute. They take notes, send calendar invites, share resources, and make introductions. And they never leave one conversation without arranging the next one. Inevitably through the process, the Mentee and Mentor grow. 

The Right Arm Predicament
Right Arms are in a quandary. Unlike Observers, they do show up, but unlike Whole Selves, they aren’t leaning into the program or the relationship as they had committed to. So they feel obliged to justify their inaction. Eventually, they rattle off a litany of excuses and point to their overwhelming circumstances.

But Right Arms Can Dance 
Right Arms can put their Whole Self in at any moment… by exchanging excuses for insights. 

When Right Arms pause to reflect on their lackluster participation in mentoring, they can identify valuable insights and learnings. And by sharing — at any point in the relationship – – what went well and what they will do differently going forward, Right Arms can deliberately move their Whole Self into the dance.

That’s how you do the Hokey Pokey in mentoring and in life! 

© 2022. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.