[Flash] A Swim Lesson: Why Great Mentors Wipe Snot, Not Tears

I was reminded of this transformative experience while watching the 2024 short documentary A Swim Lesson which profiles Bill Marsh, a swim instructor from Los Angeles who has helped over 5,000 children learn to swim.

The 20-minute movie opens to crying, snot-leaking children clinging fiercely to the side of Bill’s pool, their parents watching in stunned helplessness.

As Bill narrates and reinforces with the parents, it’s OK to cry – crying is an emotion, not a measure of progress. Tears are not a symptom of failure; they’re indicative of a process.

Unruffled, Bill wipes snot but never tears, noticeably cautious not to rescue anyone from the process or steal their experience.

“To me, swimming is the best analogy [for life] because no one can fix it for you. It’s you and the water. You can only do it alone. If someone is holding you, you’re not doing it.”

Bill’s subtle mentoring relies on:

1. Influence: “You can’t really teach kids to swim. You have to help them discover it.”
2. Consistency: Lessons are held at the same time every day for 8 consecutive days. Bill wears the same hat and shirt, uses the same water bottle, and makes the same requests every day.
3. Validation and Expectations: He repeats, “You can have all the feelings you want. I’m not here to change those. But you have to stay in the pool.”  (And if they exit the pool, he brings them back without apology.)
4. Trust and Confidence: Teaching them not just to trust Bill but to trust themselves to grab the side of the pool, they become independently safe in lesson one.
5. Acceptance, Courage, Progress: The kids learn to accept what cannot be controlled (water!) as they make incremental progress through this crucible.
6. Conviction and Flexibility: “I know they’re going to swim at the end, but I don’t know what their journey is going to be.”

What unfolds is inspirational. The young swimmers navigate their fears, discover their own strength in the face of an overwhelming situation, and emerge resilient.

They push off the side of the pool, realizing they are more powerful than they knew, conquering what had felt insurmountable the day before.

As Mentors everywhere confess and Bill reflects, “It’s a thrill to watch humans go through a struggle and then triumph at the end of it with joy!”

© 2025. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.