In a recent interview, American country music star Jelly Roll shared the advice his dad gave him often:
“A smart man will learn from his mistakes,
A wise man will learn from the mistakes of others.”
Drawing on lessons he’s learned from his personal struggles with addiction and the law, Jelly Roll (born Jason DeFord) infuses his music with storytelling.
“It took me a long time to forgive myself for what I did back then.”
Along with this self-awareness, Jelly Roll travels with his eyes wide open. Paying attention to the mistakes his friends, fellow inmates, and other artists have made through their choices informs his own. Their relapses have served as cautionary tales.
Why aren’t we all learning from missteps – our own and others?
Mistake intolerance.
Mistakes make us vulnerable (and judgy). Social pressure exaggerates that vulnerability, magnifying low self-esteem and a ubiquitous fear of being judged or criticized.
We care what people think, leaving no room for experimenting, exploring, or erroring.
Schools in the US typically train students to avoid mistakes, rewarding those who know the correct answer rather than those who discover it. The result? Students learn to seek the safer path, memorizing answers to pass exams.
Conversely, mistakes, errors, and confusion are welcomed in Japan schools, encouraging students to think critically and work together to attempt to solve problems first before teachers intervene.
We don’t learn from taking safer paths. We learn from taking risks, making mistakes, reflecting on experiences, sharing our insights with others (mentoring!), and evolving.
We also learn from others who take risks and make mistakes. How? Paying attention. Observing. Staying curious. Asking questions. Being mentor-able.
We need to adopt perfection intolerance – it’s time to risk screwing up in the name of growth!
As a “work in progress,” we are more open to embracing the unknown space between intention and actuality.
Jelly Roll’s determination to change the course of his life forced him to reflect and acknowledge his mistakes, observe the mistakes of others, and take different actions. His steadfast commitment curtailed any urge to make excuses. As Jelly Roll says, “I refuse to be a victim.”
Perfection intolerance is strengthened by regularly asking:
- “What have we learned?”
- “How can we improve?”
- “What will do differently going forward?”
In school and life, the shared struggle to find solutions is essential to the learning process – this is mentoring!
© 2024. Ann Tardy and MentorLead. www.mentorlead.com. All Rights Reserved.