Our daily tasks are like splashing in the ocean, but our impact is like riding waves.
Mired in emails and meetings, it’s easy to fixate on the splashes and overlook the waves – the significance and meaning of our jobs.
Research shows that reminding people of the importance of their job increases their intrinsic motivation and productivity. That makes sense – the more critical we feel, the more effort we exert, the more we persevere.
As leaders, it’s essential to remind our people (and ourselves!) of the significance and the meaning of their work.
How? By connecting the splashes to the waves.
Our splashes are necessary, but we cannot neglect the waves we make. Our perseverance depends on it!
Consent is like mud. It’s unstable and easily affected by circumstances, like the weather. But cement is steadfast and impervious.
When people consent, they may agree with an “OK,” they might even smile and nod, but they do not own that commitment, because they did not create it.
When people are involved in creating a commitment, they own it. And therefore they are more likely to act consistent with that promise by following through and executing in spite of circumstances.
People cement the commitments they help to create.
We can actually facilitate their shift in commitment:
Through active and public declarations, people shift their commitments from wavering consent to anchored cement. And this invariably increases their success in following through and executing, which inevitably fuels their self-respect, self-esteem, and self-confidence.
Less mud, more cement!
Our resumes are dotted with bullets. These bullets highlight our jobs – our roles, our responsibilities, and our results.
But we don’t get bullets for dealing with drama, agonizing through murky meetings, navigating difficult bosses, and enduring politics.
We get no extra bullets for suffering. Imagine if we did:
Mistakes, miscommunications, and martyrdom happen between the bullets. They only matter when we make them matter.
Every day we get to choose how we function between the bullets: with contention or with intention.
With contention, we are ensnared by crisis, personally offended by others’ actions, victimized by their missteps. We operate as if we don’t share a common goal.
With intention, we are enchanted by possibility and potential, intoxicated by the difference we can make with and for others, regardless of our title. We are cognizant that our interactions are meaningful and collaborative.
Our job is just a bullet on a resume. What we do in between the bullets is actually all that matters.
Dorothy sang it, “…because of the wonderful things he does!”
Kids demand it, “…but why?”
We all want it: a good rationale.
Research shows that people are significantly influenced by reason. They are more willing to accept a request when we tell them why.
But typically when we make a request, we assume the other person already knows why, so we don’t bother offering a reason. And that’s a missed opportunity.
The pace of our communications often causes us to neglect the why. Inadvertently, we rely on, “if we’re asking, they must know it’s for a good reason.”
But “because I said so” doesn’t satisfy children, and “because I’m the boss” doesn’t ignite enthusiasm or action in adults.
People want to feel part of the process.
By simply sharing the reason for our request, we include them in the process, while demonstrating that we are partners, not their parents.
This not only elevates the execution of our requests, but fuels trust and accelerates engagement. Why? Because we finally said so!
Problems are like new toys – they need figuring out.
People bring us their problems like they’re bringing us a Rubik’s cube, a Lego set, or a new video game – insisting that we play too.
Why do they bring us their new toys?
Because they know we can figure them out. We always have solutions, ideas, or key information.
So they drop their toys on our desk, eager to let us play.
And they’re right! We can figure them out and quite often we love to. But we already have enough toys to play with.
When people bring us new toys, there are 5 things we can offer to help them move forward:
Before anyone starts sharing new toys, ask them first which of these they need from you. Then make them take their toys with them when they leave.
Our job is not to collect the most toys but to help our people learn how to play better with their own.
Stepping on someone’s sentence isn’t a big deal, is it? I do it all the time.
I excitedly respond to what someone’s saying… even before they finish their sentence. Or I have a perfect story or something funny to share, but if I wait until they’re done talking, I might forget.
Clearly it’s just my enthusiasm and passion (sometimes my impatience and irritation); so what’s the problem with a little sentence-stepping?
It contaminates trust.
When we intentionally listen to someone, they trust us a little more.
When we sentence-step, they trust us a little less.
As leaders, trust is everything – people only follow leaders they trust. So trust must be our constant commitment, not a checkbox on a to-do list.
The trust people have in us is strengthened or splintered in each interaction. Sentence-stepping doesn’t strengthen trust; it splinters it. Instead of demonstrating our passion and enthusiasm, it actually demonstrates our selfishness and disrespect.
When every conversation either contributes to or contaminates trust, we need to step on our tongue instead of their sentence.
Motivation stems from within. No one else can motivate us. So what’s the secret to motivating ourselves?
Always have a ticket in hand.
My mom has been advocating this approach my whole life. When one adventure ends, she’d say, have a “ticket” in your hand for the next one – a ticket to a show, a vacation, a party, the theater, even a visit with a friend.
To motivate ourselves, we need something to look forward to.
That same advice applies to work. Feeling blah on Monday morning? Bored with that project? Plodding along from one meeting to the next?
Get a “ticket” in your hand by looking forward to something: tackling a new project, working with a Mentor, contributing to a Mentee, solving an old problem from a different angle, bonding with the team, exploring a new idea, meeting a new client, helping an old client with a new solution.
Our motivation is up to us – we can activate it or we can let it atrophy. Either way, Monday morning will show up again.
p.s. Thanks for the perspective, Mom!
Without kindness work sucks – for us and for the people who work with us.
As leaders, our success lies in our ability to keep good people involved, committed, contributing, growing themselves, and developing others.
But good people don’t trust unkind leaders – no one likes following a jerk.
The good news is that being kind is the one thing we have 100% control of every day in every moment. We cannot control customers, co-workers, personalities, the markets, the weather, the traffic, or other jerks.
We can only control how we treat each other – our responses, our character, and our commitment to serve others’ success. We can be kind without exception for stress, pressure, job titles, job levels, or our own momentary lack of self-confidence.
Next time we lose patience, yell, belittle, or disparage another, let’s let a breath in and ask ourselves, am I being kind or am I being kind of a jerk?
And then own the responsibility we have at every moment and with everyone to be human first.