Category Archives for "Blog"

Joey Votto, Cincinnati Reds first baseman, was chasing a foul ball heading toward the stands, hoping to catch an out in the seventh inning. Also positioning himself to catch that foul ball was a Reds-jersey-wearing fan sitting in the first row named Randy. When Votto missed the ball, he grabbed Randy’s jersey and seethed, “You’re a Reds fan, don’t get in my way!”

Randy apologized. Demonstrating respect and empathy, Randy’s apology immediately disarmed Votto’s anger. And suddenly Votto apologized too. After the game, the two talked, took pictures, and Votto gave him an autographed baseball that read: “Thanks for being so understanding.”

Remorseful, Votto acknowledged to reporters after the game that he had “bullied” Randy, who deserved to be treated with more respect.

What sparked Votto’s epiphany? Randy’s apology!

Research shows that apologies have the power to instantly heal. Receiving a sincere apology decreases a person’s blood pressure, slows their heart rate, and allows them to think clearly.

Having the courage to take responsibility is extremely powerful. As Randy and Votto discovered, it:

• disarms people
• prevents further misunderstanding
• increases empathy
• strengthens relationships
• fuels self-respect and self-esteem

Authentic and intentional apologies make us strong leaders and decent human beings.

No Photos Allowed! read signs throughout St. Paul’s Cathedral in London.

Curious, I asked why. A curator explained: “The tour guides got frustrated because people were too busy taking pictures and not paying attention.”

Essentially, they were tired of competing with smartphones!

The draconian restriction worked. The church was scattered with enrapt tourists intently listening to the guides.

Named the iPhone Effect, psychologists have discovered that the mere presence of a smartphone (even if not being used) inhibits conversation.

Why? Because the smartphone divides our attention between the proximate and the possible. The person in front of us and the world of people potentially calling, texting, tweeting, and posting.

When our smartphone is on the table or in our hands, the other person knows they are competing for our attention, and this distract-ability diminishes the quality of our interaction.

• The conversation remains shallow, careening instead of flowing.
• Consequently, people restrict their responses.
• And this decreases our empathy.

Ironically, being constantly connected is interfering with our connections.

Because leading intentionally depends on these connections, our rapt attention and empathy are essential. And so our challenge: to deliberately disconnect.

Maybe we need to post our own sign occasionally: No Smartphones Allowed.

I just returned from a family vacation, and, I confess, I read a fiction book.

Typically I justify time away from work by poring over leadership tomes. So I inhaled this book like a sinful treat.

And then I discovered that my guilty pleasure actually helps me lead better.

According to recent research, even short bouts of reading fiction…

• improves our understanding of other human beings
• helps us see the world from others’ points of view
• reminds us that people hold varying perspectives and beliefs

The act of reading fiction allows us to engage in what researchers call “experience thinking” – our emotional connection to the characters causes us to explain and empathize with their behaviors, even if we don’t agree with them.

How does this help us in the non-fiction world? By increasing our social cognition and strengthening our emotional perception, we become better at collaborating, empathizing, and connecting with others.

Essentially reading a fiction book is training for our human interactions, no different than lifting weights is training for our muscles. Just by reading fiction, we can transform our impact as leaders and as human beings (and enjoy our downtime more).

To see pictures of my recent adventures in London, Brussels, and Bruges, visit our Instagram page at: https://www.instagram.com/lifemoxie/

“I was born to create the unexpected!” declared Willy Wonka.

After seeing the musical Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this week, I have a renewed fascination with the ethereal chocolatier.

As Roald Dahl’s story goes, the greatest candy maker ever awards five children the opportunity to tour his magnificent chocolate factory.

But before they enter, he warns, you have to believe to see.

Interestingly, on my way to the theater, I noticed a billboard asserting, “You have to see it to believe it.” When did cynicism become our default? We steadfastly disbelieve until provided hard evidence. We watch magic tricks searching for ancient secrets. We question people’s motives.

And when we reign with such cynicism, we encourage cynicism in those around us.

As Charlie’s story progresses, four children succumb to their greed, gluttony, addictions, and entitlement. But Mr. Wonka finds a kindred spirit in gracious Charlie who believes in the power of imagination to make a difference.

I want to lead like Willy Wonka.

• I want to be less cynical.
• I want to unapologetically create the unexpected.
• I want to believe to see.

By leading like Willy Wonka, I can rouse the remarkable (the “Charlie”) in the people around me.

I just completed a 783-mile bike ride from Crater Lake to Yosemite.

In previous years, I’ve cycled from SF to NJ, from Key West to Maine, and from Seattle to San Diego.

I love the adventure. I love being outside. I love experiencing the country. I love the challenge. And I love how strong I feel pedaling across the map.

At the core, however, I ride to get uncomfortable.

I’ve learned that when I’m not paying attention, my life tends to drift toward convenient, habitual, and comfortable.

But my world only expands when I’m uncomfortable.

To get uncomfortable, we have to intentionally create it. For me, training every morning, rearranging work, leaving my family, and traversing unknown roads, hills, countless cars, and strangers while sitting on a less-than-cozy bike saddle for hours, day after day, through weather extremes is physically, emotionally, and mentally uncomfortable.

Remarkably, each time I get uncomfortable, my confidence, my courage, and my self-awe surges. And I discover a renewed appreciation for and trust in my team, my family, and myself. That’s always worth a few saddle sores!

What do you do to get uncomfortable and bolster your self-awe?
(Post a comment here and let me know so I can be in awe of you too!)

Altercations, missed deadlines, defective processes, and empty promises are like broken windows. Left unfixed, they communicate our tolerance for broken windows.

According to the Broken Windows Theory, addressing petty crimes will prevent more serious crimes. Social scientists contend that small signs of disorder actually encourage more widespread negative behavior.

In 1993, Mayor Giuliani put the Broken Windows Theory into action to decrease crime in NYC. He commissioned the city to remove graffiti, clean litter, repair vandalism, and arrest toll-jumpers. By tackling minor disorders with zero-tolerance, Giuliani reinstated order and lawfulness in the city.

We need to put this theory into action with our teams.

If we don’t fix the broken windows, we not only condone them, we encourage greater violations.

By confronting the altercations, enforcing the deadlines, changing the processes, and holding people to their promises, we communicate zero-tolerance for negative behavior and thereby, restore order and justice in the environment.

And, as leaders, the environment is pivotal – it’s the only thing we can create. (We cannot create people’s skills or attitudes; we can only influence those with the environment.)

Consequently, we better be intentional about fixing those windows. Our people are watching.