Blog Archives - Page 50 of 55

Does it Matter if We Achieve our Goals?

What if achieving our goals doesn’t matter?

What if the power of setting goals lies not in accomplishing them but in who we have to become to accomplish them?

When we earnestly pursue goals, we change our behavior, we improve our processes, we take on new actions. To be successful in our goals, we have to become the person it takes to be successful.

And ultimately becoming that person is as important as (if not more than) accomplishing the goal.

Think of any goal you have achieved. Who did you become to achieve that goal?

Did you become:

a morning person
organized with your time
determined and perseverant, even brazen
focused on your health, your skills, or your passion
confident and direct in your interactions with others
more courageous

Admittedly, all of these changes and improvements we make in the pursuit of a goal are possible without the goal, but the goal seduces us into action.

When I have a goal to write a book or complete a bike ride, I become militant about my time, clear about my priorities, and purposeful in my conversations. I am switched on. I ask better questions. I am more enthusiastic.

Pursuing the goal of writing a book or cycling a part of the country makes me a more efficient, effective, and engaged person.

So while accomplishing the goal is our reward for the grit, perhaps it’s not about the goal. Perhaps it’s about setting compelling goals that lure us into becoming bigger, better, bolder versions of ourselves.

Why I Attended the Million Women’s March

I attended the Million Women’s March in Washington DC last weekend with my mom, Cousin Lynn, and her daughter Riley.

It was inspiring, empowering, and emotional. (To be fair, it was also at times overwhelming, frustrating, and confusing.)

The issues people came to discuss were countless (many of which I had been personally incognizant). And they carried their issues on signs, buttons, hats, and shirts.

I personally didn’t have a rally cry for any one issue.

So why did I show up? The same reason a million women and men showed up around the globe. For awareness, understanding, and solidarity. And without judgment. (No one responded to anyone’s sign with disdain, “That’s a stupid issue. Get over it.” )

The issues impact the people in my community, and so for that reason alone, they matter to me.

I went to the March to better understand and show support for what others experience, endure, and fear. And, as evidenced by the lack of altercations and arrests, so did everyone else.

But we don’t need to wait for a March on Washington to build solidarity with our teams, our families, or our communities. We just need to be willing to consider and acknowledge each other’s experiences and concerns… without judgment.

The March concluded when we got to the White House. Like a mic drop after an awesome performance, we placed our signs at the fence and walked home.

It wasn’t a protest. It wasn’t a bra-burning. It was a merely an opportunity to support humanity.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
If you’d like to see a few pictures, check out our Instagram account: www.instagram.com/lifemoxie

Can Motion Actually Be the Goal?

I have been editing.

Not a document…my life.

I’ve been editing my house, my office, my closets and cabinets, my clothes, my news consumption, my books, my conversations, and even my time.

I don’t know if I’m more shocked by the things I’m finding (medicine dated 2009!) or by the reality of what I tolerate. I have been operating around piles (literal and figurative) without taking action.

I didn’t start the year with a resolution or a goal about editing. I started the year with a commitment to Get Stuff Done. To do something instead of just make lists. To move.

But can motion actually be the goal?

Research shows that happier people move more. A study of over 10,000 people using wearable technology revealed that people can increase their mood just with slight physical activity – by moving!

It’s not about exercise, running a marathon, or scaling mountains. It’s about staying in motion.

And that’s how I started to edit.

Here are some other simple ways to start moving:

Take the stairs
Stand up when the phone rings
Walk around while talking on the phone (stop looking at emails!)
Sit strong and stand strong by engaging the abs
Fix or discard broken items
Donate “someday” clothes (someday I’ll wear it)
Greet people with a smile and confident handshake
Wave to people across the street
Get a dog (ok, not simple, but lots of walking and waving)

When our motion impacts our emotion, it’s time to start moving… whatever that looks like for you!

0 Skip the Resolutions. Create a Polar Bear Plunge

January has the potential to dishearten even the most optimistic. Holiday decorations come done. Rejected Christmas trees skirt the curbs. The days are short. And on top of all that, we’re supposed to declare some grandiose resolution to fix whatever is wrong with us… But declarations don’t create sustainable change! Only actionable learning does. Traditionally, we learn by reading books, listening to speakers, observing leaders…but research proves that we implement:

only 5% of what we read, hear, and see
but a stunning 90% of what we experience

So the secret to igniting our spirits in January and our learning throughout the year is immersion.

We need to plunge into experiences, experiments, activities, and adventures.

What we need is a Polar Bear Plunge!

People have been jumping into icy cold water in the winter since 1904 in what is now known as a “Polar Bear Plunge.”

Why?! Typically to raise money for charitable organizations, and personally, for the adrenaline, the challenge, and the experience.

So instead of focusing on resolutions to fix what doesn’t work, let’s create our own Polar Bear Plunge.

What new experiences, experiments, activities, or adventures can we create this year for ourselves and our people? Examples…

Join Toastmasters
Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity
Sign up for lessons (instrument, language, dance, motorcycle)
Lead an event, a team, or a project
Serve as a Mentor
Try a new exercise class
Register for a race
Teach a workshop
Travel
Informationally interview leaders
Write an article
Say yes! to a challenge

For learning that transforms, it’s time to take the plunge! Experiences are the new resolutions.

0 I Want to Lead Like Dallas Cowboys Tony Romo

I want to lead like Tony Romo, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback since 2006.

In August when Tony suffered a broken back that sidelined him for three months, rookie Dak Prescott was promoted to starting quarterback, but merely as a placeholder until Tony returned.

And suddenly the rookie became a sensation! To date, Dak has led the Cowboys in a phenomenal 10-1 winning streak.

But then people started to wonder… what happens when Tony heals? Will he rightfully reclaim his title as starting quarterback?

Recovered and ready to play, Tony ended the controversy recently in a heartfelt speech:

“Football is a meritocracy. You aren’t handed anything. You earn everything, every single day, over and over again. Dak has earned the right to be our quarterback.”

Imagine watching a younger co-worker soar past us, up the proverbial ladder as we hobble, falter, or idle, unable to contribute as we have in the past. The feelings of futility and inadequacy would thrash even the most confident among us. It requires an unwavering passion for the purpose of the organization to eclipse the prestige of leading the team to victory. So what does Tony do now with all of his passion and none of the prestige? Mentor Dak.

“I was Dak once. I remember the people who helped me when I was young. I’m going to be that person for Dak. Ultimately, it’s about the team.”

And that’s when Tony set a new bar as a leader in the NFL. If you’re truly committed to the success of the team, you lead with heart and soul regardless of who gets the glory.

Do You Listen with Thunder or Lightning?

“That’s crazy! Why are you doing that!?” my friend challenged. Lightning!

“Wow! That’s amazing. What was that like?” my other friend appreciated. Thunder!

Thunder claps. Lightning strikes.

When we listen with thunder we clap with acknowledgement, recognition, interest, and support.
When we listen with lightning we strike from defensiveness or judgment.

Why? When we listen with lightning, we take the focus off of the other person and we make it about us. We start to wonder… What does that person’s comment mean about me? If that person is growing, does that mean I’m shrinking? If that person has great news, does mine pale in comparison? If that person makes a bold decision or holds a strong opinion, does that question my decision or opinion?

But when we listen with thunder, we engage with a steadfast focus on the other person. We are cognizant that acknowledging their success, their growth, their decision, and their opinion bears no reflection on our own.

And that takes awareness, intentionality, and courage.

If we are committed to serving the success of others, we need to listen with more thunder and less lightning.

I Have a Leader Crush on Arkadi Kuhlmann

I admit it. I have a leader crush on Arkadi Kuhlmann, the founder and former CEO of ING Direct.

Why? Because he leads with conviction.

He believes passionately that the banking industry needs to be reinvented.
So he recruited from outside the industry to infuse the team with fresh ideas and to combat those of grizzled veterans.
He then painted a white line outside the building’s entrance to remind employees that once they cross it, they are leaving the sleepy world to enter a different kind of place.
He also posted a sign above the exit for employees to read as they left work that asked: “Did today really matter?”
And to create accountability, every year he asked employees to vote whether he should serve as CEO for another year.

How can we similarly use our own passion to ignite enthusiasm and engagement?

Start with a conviction (What belief grounds your commitment to lead?)
Share that conviction until people own it
Pepper physical reminders of that conviction around them
Model that conviction in our behaviors and actions
Ask people to hold us accountable to that conviction

It takes courage to be a manager. It takes heroism to manage with conviction!

Why Cousin Lynn Crosses a Finish Line Every Month

In January, my Cousin Lynn created a goal to compete in a race every month for the entire year.

When resolutions were inescapable, this sounded aspirational. But as the months roll by, her resolve is noteworthy.

More than half of goal-chasers fail, quick to blame circumstances or their lack of motivation or willpower. But goal-catchers are successful because of their commitment, not because of their circumstances, motivation, or willpower.

Here’s how Cousin Lynn stays committed month after month:

1. Public Declaration. Announcing her goal to friends and family creates the social and internal pressure to stick to it. (Psychologists call this the Rule of Commitment.)

2. Construct Smaller Goals. The race-a-month format conveniently frames her smaller goals.

3. Celebrate Progress and Small Wins. Every month she sends me her crossing-the-finish-line picture, and I cheer.

4. Constantly Eliminate Barriers. When the winter offered no races, she flew to a warmer city to compete.

5. Be Intentional. Every month she researches and identifies the race for the next month.

6. Persevere. The summer was overloaded with family obligations, so she found ways to train around them. (When I was in town, she had us visiting on bicycles!)

7. Be Resilient. When August’s mud-run was cancelled, she quickly signed up for a 5K. Cousin Lynn didn’t just make a New Year’s resolution. She made a commitment (a promise to herself!) that has her consistently taking actions instead of making excuses.

Whether the goal is personal or professional, being committed differentiates the goal-chasers from the goal-catchers.