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I was in The Art of Shaving store last weekend purchasing a gift when a teenager entered the store.

His face was clean shaven; his skin smooth, shiny and unblemished, even glowing; and he was beaming. Followed by an entourage of friends, the teenager made a beeline for John, the store manager.

In front of his friends and a crowd of customers, the teenager gave John a handshake and gushed, “Thank you so much. You changed my life.”  A little surprised, John proclaimed, “I’m so glad it worked! Thank you for coming back to show me how great your face looks!”

With that, the gaggle of smiling, somewhat embarrassed teenagers and their beaming, clean shaven leader turned and shuffled out of the store.

With pride, John explained, “He was in here a couple months ago with razor burns, in-grown hair, and acne. I spent an hour teaching him how to shave, fitting him with the right razor, and finding a product that would help his skin.

” Reflecting on this rare moment, John admitted, “That just made my night.” 

Everyone in the store felt fortunate to have witnessed this exchange.

The teenager went out of his way to appreciate John, who had gone out of his way to mentor him. John could have just sold the teenager a razor and some lotion. And the teenager could have taken John’s advice and never returned.

Instead they each turned a simple transaction into a transformation.  How?

• Empathy and compassion
• Shared advice and guidance
• Acknowledgement and appreciation
• Purposeful connection
• Trust

Whether it’s a purchase, a conversation, or a meeting, we always have the opportunity to shift a transaction into a transformation… simply by asking, “Is this the biggest difference I can make with this person in this moment?”

I ate at Coopers Hawk Winery in a Chicago suburb recently and loved it, not just for the food but for the experience.

Interestingly, the waitress who took our order was not the same person who delivered our food, and a different person cleared our table.

The service was fast; the food was delicious; and we never waited with unmet requests or dirty dishes.  And everyone who came to our table treated us as if we were their customers.

When our waitress returned to take our dessert order, I commented on the restaurant’s smooth, almost rhythmic operation.

She revealed the secret: Full Hands In, Full Hands Out.

She explained the simple rule: never go into or out of the kitchen with empty hands. Every time you go in, clear a table and bring dirty dishes. Every time you go out, take a dish that’s ready to be served and deliver it… even if it’s not for your table.

More important than the fast, efficient service, there is an air of collaboration that elevates the restaurant. No one is in competition with anyone else. Rather, they work together to create a great experience for all customers.

And this collaborative culture is not driven by money – they don’t share tips. Instead, they share a common commitment: to create a memorable experience for all Coopers Hawk diners.
How can we apply this concept to any workplace?

• Answer a client’s request, don’t just send her to someone’s voicemail
• Share information with other sales team members
• Refill the paper in the copier
• Pick up garbage in the hall, even if it’s not yours
• Take initiative to solve a problem affecting all clients
• Make suggestions to improve an internal process that benefits everyone

With Full Hands In, Full Hands Out, we’re in this together!

The Metropolitan Transportation Agency spent years automating the NYC subway operations: vending machines, mapping apps, electronic fare payment. Obviating the need for human interaction to ride the subway.

And then last week they deployed a crew of “Wayfinders” – customer service ambassadors positioned at subway stations to greet people, answer questions, help anyone hurt or sick, and offer route advice. Why? Wayfinders are able to serve people individually, in ways technology falls short.

A similar “Wayfinder” experience occurred on my recent JetBlue flight. Waiting at the gate, everyone knew the flight was delayed. We saw it on the airport monitors; we received text updates on our phones. Aggravations were simmering, and the automated updates failed to placate.

And then suddenly Captain Jerry came out to the gate area. He shared inside information about why the inbound flight was delayed. He described the conditions that we could expect once we got airborne; he even interacted with us about the football game erupting on the televisions. And as he walked back onto the plane to prepare the cockpit, he playfully said, “If you all drink responsibly, I promise to drive responsibly!”

The crowd loved him!  Our frustrations were instantly abated.

We are surrounded by automation, while starved for human connection.

The subway wasn’t less crowded or more efficient. My flight didn’t take off on time. But the Wayfinders certainly diffused our irritation, and that made the difference.

Where are you depending on technology or automation at the expense of a human connection? Even a phone call instead of an email or a text could shift the experience for you and another.

I’ve seen these Wayfinders in action – they were having a lot more fun than Alexa or Siri, and as a result, so did we.

I walked into a workshop this week to find 6 people in the room:

• A large Italian man who looked like a body-builder
• A shy, tattooed man with a soft voice and wide eyes
• A calm, completely bald man wearing a Hawaiian shirt
• An outspoken, older Asian-American woman with long, gray hair
• A tall blond woman with a girlish voice and dramatic bangs
• A young, stylish African-American man sporting a flat-rimmed cap backwards

When the workshop started, the facilitator asked us to stand up and share, not what we do for a living, but a story about what led us to do what we do.

Here’s what I discovered:

• The large man is a chiropractor who takes steroids for an incurable disease.
• The tattooed man is an ex-convict who saved his soul through his health and is now a physical trainer for executives.
• The bald man grew up in a Buddhist monastery and is now a sought-after business coach.
• The Asian-American woman turned to nature to find sobriety and now runs a non-profit focused on the environment.
• The blond grew up mute and dyslexic and is now a PhD in learning behaviors.
• The African-American man grew up in the projects and is now a financially independent entrepreneur. (And he is engaged to the blond – they met on Tinder.)

Had we introduced ourselves with only our job titles, we would have been left with the assumptions we made about each other and the stories we have about those titles… never allowing us to connect deeply. We would have heard: I’m a chiropractor. I’m a personal trainer. I’m a coach. I’m a non-profit director. I’m a doctorate. I’m a businessman.

Instead, we experienced an unexpected Breakfast Club moment.

What we look like is not who we are. What we do is not who we are. Our journey is who we are. Titles shortchange us of discovering the journey – the why behind the title. Without the journey, we are left with our stories and assumptions. And as a result, our connections remain shallow and lack trust.

So let’s not stop at, “What do you do?”

Let’s dig deeper and ask, “What led you to that role?” “What was your journey?” or “What’s your story?” 

Would You Believe in Victory with 10 Seconds Left? (Minnesota Vikings Did!)At halftime the Minnesota Vikings were up 17-0 and feeling confident they would win the NFC Championship game against the New Orleans Saints.

But the Saints came back with a vengeance, scoring throughout the second half. With less than a minute to go, the Saints scored a field goal that seemed to secure their win.

There was no way the Vikings were coming back. They were 71 yards away from the end zone with 10 seconds left on the clock. Vikings fans were already mourning. Even the Saints started celebrating their inevitable victory.

But the Vikings never gave up.

They played those last 10 seconds with perseverance and determination.   They made every second count.

The quarterback Case Keenum threw the football to wide receiver Stefon Diggs who jumped to catch it, averted being tackled, caught himself when he lost his balance, and sprinted 61 yards for the game-winning touchdown!

It was incredible! But it wasn’t a miracle. It was possibility and intentionality (and talent!) in action.

How can we help our teams believe in possibility and act with intention to the very last second?

• Focus Don’t Flounder: The players ruthlessly battled together toward the same goal.
• Coach Don’t Rescue: The Vikings coach did not come running onto the field to grab the football and save the game.
• Praise Don’t Persecute: It was easy (and habitual) for the rest of us to judge and criticize from the sidelines.
• Strategize Don’t Victimize: Nobody can play the victim and rouse the remarkable simultaneously.
• Cheer Don’t Berate: Yelling and screaming doesn’t work to inspire dogs, babies, or team members.

When you’re racing the clock on a deadline, a project, or a race… use your words and actions to strengthen people’s belief in themselves and commitment to victory.

Police officers are charged with catching people doing something wrong. Ward Clapham, a retired veteran of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, described it as “always looking for the dark side.”

In 2002 Ward decided to shift the obedience-by-fear paradigm. He started catching kids doing something right, polite, safe, or kind.

He issued Positive Tickets to kids he saw crossing the road safely, picking up litter, wearing a bike helmet, or doing their homework. And to add significance, he allowed kids to exchange their tickets for pizza, gift certificates, or movie passes. To his surprise, some kids held on to their tickets to display at home, like a trophy for being a good person.

But it’s not about the tickets! It’s about the relationship he built with young people in his community. By recognizing their good behavior and acknowledging their worth, he gained their trust.

People at work also crave “Positive Tickets.” According to research, more than 50% of employees say they would look for another job if their manager did not appreciate or acknowledge their work.

As leaders, we should be issuing Positive Tickets every day! People who feel recognized have higher self-esteem which leads to greater contributions. We all work harder when we feel good about ourselves. Positive Tickets can be as simple as a thank you email or card. Remember,

it’s not about the ticket; it’s about the relationship and the trust that recognition engenders – essential for our success in leading! Apparently, puppies crave Positive Tickets too.

The motto posted in the puppy training room at my pet store is: “If you want to stop good behavior, ignore it.”