Are You Comparing Your Insides to Their Outside?

And yet what we don’t see on the outside is Marcia’s exhausting insecurity over her speech challenges. When she’s not in front of an audience, Marcia painfully stutters.

Alcoholics Anonymous members often quote the axiom: “Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides.”

Our feelings. Their appearances.

When we compare our self-doubts and fears (our insides) to other people’s bravado, possessions, adventures, and Facebook updates (their outsides), we sabotage our confidence and risk our success.

The reality is that Facebook posts do not reveal the whole story. People are constantly painting a positive self-portrait in order to salvage their own self-esteem.

So how do we stop the seemingly inevitable comparison?

• Break the voyeuristic addiction to social media (it’s just a self-portrait!)
• Up the compassion quotient (remember, everyone struggles with something)
• Engage a reality check (every hotshot is battling an insecurity)
• Create authentic conversations (bring your insides and outsides together)
• Watch the movie Inside Out
• Read the book Everybody Lies
• Forgive… ourselves and others

The only person we should be comparing ourselves to today is the person we were yesterday… Are we wiser and kinder today than we were yesterday?