All Posts by Ann Tardy

Shin Lin, the magician who won America’s Got Talent this year, so perfected his craft that he made me believe in magic.

It was extreme dedication on display… an obsession with extraordinary results.

When UC Berkeley professor Morton Hansen extensively researched the behaviors of top performers, he discovered that they:

• have fewer goals, and
• obsess like crazy over them

In other words, less volume, more intensity.

How?

1. Get super clear about what’s important.
   Have a conversation with your boss, an exploration with a mentor, some reflection on what is essential to your job, your career goals, and your life.
2. Edit the unnecessary.
   What distractions, tasks, errands, projects, or clutter can be delegated, decreased, or eliminated? (ex: watching television, manually paying bills, constantly checking social media)
3. Intensify the efforts.
   Obsess over creating extraordinary results in spite of circumstances.

Professional athletes are obsessed with their sport.
Rock stars are obsessed with their music.
Activists are obsessed with their cause.

When I look at my most high-performing times and my most game-changing accomplishments, they’ve come on the heels of an obsession.

• When I’m obsessed about writing a book, I rearrange my life to write daily.
• When I’m obsessed about a cycling adventure, I pedal every morning… even when it’s cold and dark.

But when I’m unclear about what’s important, I’m not obsessed with creating extraordinary results. Instead, I’m scattered, rapt with excuses:I’m busy. I’m tired. I’m disorganized. The weather. The traffic. Computer issues…blah blah blah…

On Shark Tank, Mark Cuban refused to invest in an entrepreneur who appeared resigned to her circumstances. He said, “I can’t see writing a check for somebody who finds the excuse rather than finds the opportunity. I’m out.”

The question is… would Mark Cuban invest in you today?

I had the privilege and pleasure of speaking in Buffalo, NY last week for the Project Management Institute (PMI).

At the end of my keynote, the conference organizers surprised me with a trophy.

And not just any trophy… a solid, wooden block engraved with my name, topped with a large, brass buffalo, standing 13 inches tall and weighing 3 pounds. It is not insignificant.

I gushed in delight. And then I wondered… how was I going to transport it in my small carry-on luggage?

Determined to take it home, I opted to carry the Buffalo Trophy through the airport, like an Emmy.

And as a result, I made a lot of friends:

• The TSA security agent and I laughed about bringing bigger luggage next time.
• The waitress and other patrons at the airport restaurant congratulated me, wanting to know more about my award.
• Passengers in the boarding area enjoyed the ongoing banter sparked by the buffalo.
• Two guys on the airtrain loved it so much they insisted on taking a selfie with me and the buffalo.

Here’s what I discovered from carrying the Buffalo Trophy:

1. Significant and Personal Recognition is Powerful
The trophy is an indisputable statement of PMI’s appreciation. And it was unnecessary… I received a nice fee for my keynote. But PMI went out of their way to ensure that I felt recognized, appreciated, and special all the way home.

2. People are Eager to Connect but Need a Reason
The Buffalo Trophy is noticeable and peculiar – an instant conversation piece, making it easy to connect and engage with complete strangers. I had so much fun carrying the Buffalo Trophy that I am might take it with me on my next trip.

And rest assured, when PMI-Buffalo calls me again, I’ll make time for them!

When asked about her success as a 30-year journalist and international reporter, Christiane Amanpour reflected, “I report the news without fear or favor.”

She was echoing Adolph S. Ochs who, in 1896 upon assuming control of The New York Times, declared in the editorial page:

“It will be my earnest aim that The New York Times... give the news impartially, without fear or favor, regardless of party, sect, or interests involved…”

Without fear or favor…
What do we fear? Judgment, criticism, threats, blame
What do we favor? Our own opinions, perspectives, solutions, and advice

So what would it take to lead without fear or favor? Courage.

• Courage to make unconventional decisions and choices at the risk of reprimand or retribution
• Courage to seek and consider divergent viewpoints of any situation, person, or problem

Practically, this guiding principle calls upon us to:

• Question our own opinions and perspectives
• Welcome others’ ideas, advice, and solutions (even when we think we know the right answer)
• Listen curiously, interested in what we’re not seeing (our blindspots!)
• Suspend our judgment when someone presents their side of an issue
• Govern out of integrity, dignity, and fairness, not popularity or self-interest
• Pursue a vision (our battle cry!) in the face of objection, opposition, negativity, even vitriol

When Aetna CEO Mark Bertolini introduced yoga and meditation to the company notwithstanding his CFO’s disapproval; when he investigated a suggestion that his front-line employees were suffering from inadequate benefits; when he improved those benefits, undeterred by shareholder defection; when he negotiated with CVS to maintain those benefits upon acquisition of Aetna… he demonstrated “leading without fear or favor.”

Better bosses lead with the courage and commitment to be changed by, for, and with others.

According to University of Maryland Professor Robert Povine’s research on laughter, the higher up on a group’s hierarchy, the less we laugh.

In other words, leaders don’t laugh much.

But we should and here’s why…

Povine’s research reveals that laughter is not about humor. It’s about social bonding. We bond when we laugh together.

Studies show that when we bond, we strengthen the trust in our relationships.

And nothing happens in leadership without trust.

So why don’t bosses laugh more?

• Fear of perception (does being funny undermine my intelligence?)
• Too focused on the bottom line
• Other leaders aren’t laughing (is it acceptable?)
• Sense of humor has atrophied (laughter is associated with play and adults don’t play as much)
• Technology strangles laughter (more time on email and collaboration tools, means less time with people)

So how can we intentionally incorporate laughter into our leadership?

• Look for humorous situations and ironic moments
• Tell a go-to joke and ask others for their go-to jokes
• Share funny stories and invite others to do the same
• Self-deprecate (this underscore our humanity)
• Point out the insanity or inanity of situations
• Introduce improv games and team-building activities

Fortunately laughter is contagious... we actually smile and laugh at the sound of laughter (which explains the success of the Tickle Me Elmo doll!)

(As you exercise your funny bone, one enormous caution about inappropriate laughter. If you laugh at others (who are not laughing at themselves), mock certain groups, or giggle from nerves, you will contaminate trust.)

Laughter is an expression of joy. And when we intentionally make joy a part of our job as leaders, people look forward to working with us… no matter how grueling or stressful work may be.

Every September on my birthday, I purposely reflect on my past year: adventures, accomplishments, challenges, disappointments, joys, and relationships.

Management guru Peter Drucker would have approved, “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.”

Sports teams review footage of their games. Actors watch their performances. Artists step back to assess their creations.

Similarly we need to review our own footage to evaluate our actions and results.

Why?

• Our brains need an opportunity to digest and process events.
• We experience a boost in self-efficacy when we reflect.
• Only when we assess what’s working and what isn’t can we learn and improve our results.
• Reflection increases our self-awareness and empathy which increases our authenticity and trust.
• To intentionally create the story in front of us, we need to understand the one behind us.

How? Keep a Leadership Log

Use bullet-points, phrases, words, pictures, even emoticons (on paper or in an app) to assess and capture the following reflections:

1. How do I feel about my job/life right now?
2. What’s working for me? 
3. What’s challenging me? 
4. What needs to change?
5. What am I committed to doing differently?
6. Where should I invest some attention and intention?
7. What difference am I making?
8. Where have I experimented?
9. What have I learned this week/month?
10. What’s the most remarkable idea I’ve had/heard this week? What am I doing about it?

Whether we log our reflections daily, weekly, or monthly, it’s essential to gain access to our own insights – they give us courage to make a difference not just produce a result.

Arkudi Kuhlmann knew the power of the reflective pause. As CEO of ING Direct, he placed a sign above the exit of the building asking his team to consider: “Did today matter?”

Ted Murphy, founder of marketing software company IZEA, was interviewed recently for an INC Magazine article on how to push yourself to the next level.

His advice? Streak Running.

Murphy runs 1 mile every day, rain or shine.

Murphy reflects, “I’ve been Streak Running since 2015… 1,200 days straight. Streak Running creates a psychological bond to the act of running and to maintaining the streak.”

He’s right!

Research reveals that perseverance, sweat, and hard work trigger the release of dopamine… the feel-good chemicals in our brain. So the act of accomplishing something (like running a mile a day) neurochemically boosts our confidence and makes us feel good about ourselves!

While Murphy has created a streak around running, we could apply this streak concept to any activity.

Retired Navy SEAL Admiral William H. McRaven promotes Streak Bed-Making in his book Make Your Bed. McRaven makes his bed every morning in order to start the day by completing a task.

As an author, I find success Streak Writing. Whenever I am producing a book, I write every day until the book is complete.

And to the delight of my dentist, I have been Streak Flossing since January 2005, flossing now for 5,045 days!

Streak Runner Murphy insightfully observes, “Once you cross 50, 100, or 1,000 days straight of any activity, you are much less likely to decide that today is the day you are going to quit.”

With a little perseverance and hard work, we can release a flood of dopamine and push ourselves to the next level: Streak Thank-You-Note-Writing, Streak Birthday-Wishing, Streak Journaling, Streak Desk-Cleaning, Streak Sales-Calling…

So, what’s your Streak? 

I’ve been inhaling Alan Alda’s book, If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?

Besides having an irreverent title, it’s a valuable book on relating and communicating.

In it Alan Alda proposes two game-changing concepts to help us bridge the ever-increasing chasm between people who attempt to communicate with each other:

1. It’s not your job to understand me.
Essentially, if I’m communicating information, I am responsible for making sure you understand it. If I tell you something without ensuring that you got it (received it and understood it), then I didn’t really communicate.

Bottom line… I am 100% responsible for my communications.

As such, I need to ensure that…

• I am not mumbling or talking too fast
• I write clearly and without assumptions
• I am able to synthesize information (remember: start with bullets!)
• You have the requisite context for the topic
• You understand any lingo, jargon, or acronyms I choose to use
• My email, text, IM, memo, tweet, or letter actually made it to you

As the speaker, it is my job to make sure you follow. It is not your job to catch up.

2. Unless I’m willing to be changed by you, I’m probably not really listening.
   Real communication does not occur if I’m simply waiting for my turn to talk.I need to approach the conversation like an improv exercise.

   This requires me to:

• Suspend what I already know about the topic
• Let go of what I expect to happen in our exchange
• Stay present (not mind-wander or text)
• Be eager to discover where you take the conversation with your contribution

Ultimately, we get to create conversation together.

Imagine the shift in discourse at work and in life if we approached each other with these two simple, yet powerful principles of communication.