The Manager glumly reported to me, “I received feedback from my peers that I use humor too much. So my goal is to eliminate humor.”
Whoa! We need humor and here’s why…
Strangers scare us. The stress of being among strangers actually has a name: “social stress barrier to empathy.”
Without a relationship, even our peers are considered strangers.
Being among strangers feels dangerous because we fear being judged or criticized. This anxiety blocks our ability to empathize. And without empathy, it’s impossible to garner trust – the linchpin of all great relationships! So we are left with strangers when we really need supporters.
Role of laughter:
Research shows that laughter and play actually blocks the social stress anxiety, and this allows us to connect, bond, empathize, and trust.
How? Laughter releases endorphins – the feel-good chemicals in our brain. Endorphins signal that it’s safe to connect with others and deepen the relationship.
Not surprisingly laughter is one of the most contagious of our emotions.
Even a simple shared moment of humor can release tension and decrease anxiety.
So how can we generate laughter and play?
- Create fun experiences (team-building off-sites, on-sites, lunches, parties)
- Incorporate games into meetings
- Point out the humor in situations (like standing in a long line for coffee!)
- Self-deprecate with sarcasm
- Share embarrassing moments
- Exchange funny cartoons and YouTube videos
- Tell funny (and appropriate!) jokes
(Of course ill-timed, inappropriate, and cruel humor communicates a lack of understanding, empathy, and kindness. But that’s about being emotionally intelligent and mindful of situations, not about killing the laugh track.)
When we want to convert strangers into supporters, we can deploy humor to easily connect with others.
